Hey ST! I know exactly what you mean about wanting more when you get a taste of the "good" stuff. At some point it seems like you SHOULD be able to "expect" things too - I mean not expect perfection, but expect some of your needs to be met, too. Of course.. after going through all this stuff, trying to ask for that is a pretty scary prospect.
Hope you had a good Valentine's Day!
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Hey you - Just checking in to say hello and see how you are doing? I'm doing well. Going on almost 3 weeks of no checking email. Can you believe it? Not that I really have a choice, I think H changed the password. He told me he did it one day to see what my reaction would be - and he didn't get one because I didn't know he changed it. Who knows. I know everyone probably sees that as a red flag. I don't know what to say other than I do not have any negative signs from my H in any other way.
I'll do an update post in this forum. Not sure what to title it though. Since I feel like I am popping up out of nowhere. lol.
Just wanted to say hi
take care.
Me: 38 H: 39 DS: 6 DD: 3 Married 7 1/2 years - together for 10 Bomb - 12/17/05 MOW Bomb - 12/25/05 Separated and H adamantly wanted a D: 1/16/06 H moved back: 8/06
thanks Michelle, I did work out everyday so far this week and did a lot of house work too. I think the biggest problems for me are more financial strain. If I wasn't so focused on how do we pay all this debt and what work could I do, then things would be simpler. But then, isn't that everyones life???
I did get a music resume made up and sent it to a wedding consultant, and I put out signs to do before and after school child care. I've gotten a few calls but all wanting full day. I really don't want to commit to something that extreme.
I feel like I've already said this. I talk to so many people about the same things, then you get confused who you said what to who. isn't that a sign of aging??? hahaha
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Nik, thanks, I did have a good valentines. My H actually picked up a card and a little cheezy heart stuffed thing. If he only knew that I would LOVE LOVE an orchid instead, or just a card with a letter. oh well. I've tried to hint at liking orchids before, but I think those things just fly by his head.
It was funny though cuz I didn't get him anything this time! I did give him a really good back rub though for my gifts. oh ya, and he did get me some cool tennis shoes a week ago. I asked him what he wanted and he never would tell me, would say, don't worry about it.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Nik, thanks, I did have a good valentines. the expectation thing, ya that is something we all have to figure out a balance to.
on valentines, I already told you, but My H actually picked up a card and a little cheezy heart stuffed thing. If he only knew that I would LOVE LOVE an orchid instead, or just a card with a letter. oh well. I've tried to hint at liking orchids before, but I think those things just fly by his head.
It was funny though cuz I didn't get him anything this time! I did give him a really good back rub though for my gifts. oh ya, and he did get me some cool tennis shoes a week ago. I asked him what he wanted and he never would tell me, would say, don't worry about it.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Going to Wichita to visit my new nephews...baby twins. Parker and Trey.... my weird bro named them after the producers of South Park (that repulsive, but sometimes funny, adult cartoon) However, my mom told me the way she remembers their names is thinking of Trailer Park. boy, are those kids gonna get teased about that! Luckily they aren't identical, that might be worse, plus that would sure be hard to have identical twins as a parent!
My H has been sick this week, but still going to work and fairly okay, but he's been drinking my juice everyday to keep from getting worse. everyone at work has been taking days off because of it. Also, my H is wanting to buy this workout program for $120 bucks. which I guess is okay, still way too expensive IMO, but I think the other reason I don't exactly want him to do it is that I want to look really good before he does.. it takes girls so much longer to look better from working out than guys. And I think it scares me for him to get all built and stuff, especially if I don't look incredibly great.
I don't want a ton of women after him. Guess I need to hurry up and look GREAT
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
haven't posted in a while. guess my life seems pretty normal and nothing crazy going on. that's always a good thing for us LBSers!
Still tons of flu all over. really crazy. still haven't really got sick yet, I can tell I have something, but it's not affecting me at all really, just can tell I'm not 100% healthy. oops, s3 coming in crying, better go.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
feelin a little under the weather. figured I had caught H's flu last week, but it's not near as bad as his, but still making me tired.
okay, I pulled up my H's myspace page and saw his dumb collage pic he found somewhere of selma hyack. however you spell her name. Now, he's always 'liked' her, and of course everyone has a "crush" on some actress/actor. I just hate it when guys, M guys, have pics or show them off. especially when YOUR not being shown off...at all. oh, he does have 1 pic of me, but he makes a joke calling me a monkey. (I have a lemur on my shoulder and he calls it "lemur and a monkey") which normally I would think funny, and I still do, but still hurts my ego.
so here I go again, feeling bad for myself because I want my H to show me off and not have some stupid actress with boobs as big as my butt. AND that she looks alot like OW, both mexi, both tiny with playboy assets, dark straight hair. blahblah. I really wonder sometimes, if I was bigger chested.. okay NORMAL chested, if I would care as much. I still remember the comment he made like 8 years ago at a party and all the guys were stating their "perfect" measurements, and I joked at H asking what his were and he said "oh, you don't want to know".
I know I'm feeling more upset about this because I just "started" (tmi sorry guys), and I'm feeling a little sick, so I'm sure everything seems escalated in my mind. Things aren't bad here at all, just been blah since everyone isn't 100% healthy.
I guess probably the problem is me being insecure, and me also not receiving love in the way I feel loved.
A friend of mine tells me how her H constantly says "your so pretty", etc and it almost drives her crazy. I'm thinking, well at least he says it than not at all.
I suppose I need to figure out what I DO want, which I'm not even sure, and relay that somehow to H. I just know that I've talked about the whole compliments thing a milion times and granted, he's done a couple things in the last year, but they are so far and few between, and I'm not sure what works to get more of it( because talking about it doesn't at all and neither does fixing up)
this is just a bad day for me. sorry to be so down. s3 has been being rather difficult, so that doesn't help.
At least one good thing is that H and I are going to coach our s3 soccer team, and I'm really excited that H choose to do it. I kinda talked him into it, but still, if he doesn't want to do anything, he lets me know, without a problem.
I'll try to get better, and be more positive. I need to follow my own advice and keep the negativity away.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I wrote an email to H. he ended up reading it right beside me, that was weird. I should have had him read it later or something, because he made no response and I said later "do I get a reply?" and he said what do you mean.
I obviously don't do things right. silly me.
BUT, I feel way better today than I did yesterday that's for sure. YEA!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
thought H wasn't wanting to take full charge of the soccer team and we ended up having an argument over uniforms and other things. don't feel like going thru it all, but figured out that I was wanting to be a help, and he was just letting me do whatever and not really paying attention I don't think and I lastly text him asking if he had plans for the practice and he said yes and I asked if he would like me to help any and he said he had it covered. it actually made me sad. but I realized I was trying to take over so I'm going to go ahead and let him just do what he wants to do. I shouldn't be thinking he can't handle a group of 3 year olds, and instead believe he can.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Guess I need to hurry up and look GREAT