Change of Christmas plans -- what to do?

[doa180]

In a nutshell -- we are supposed to go to my sisters for Christmas with my family, then on to hers. Now theree is a change in circumstances around an event we were going to go to which would give us flexibility to change dates. The date that we are planning to go to my family conflicts with a holiday party W's best friend is having and she is mad at having to miss it. This is of course the friend she goes on double dates with that included OM. I am sure (in my mind) that he would attend with her.

Do I...

1) not tell her unti it is too late to change her plans

or

2) tell her that I would be happy to take the kids to my family on the same date and she could come up by her self later so she could attend the party

[Maya44]

I'd say option 2. That seems to be the DB way anyway.

[doa180]

Just like Chicago -- vote early and often! :-)

[Jeanette1120]

Tell her the truth.

Not everything that is done has to be done the DB way. You have to add common sense and considertation into the equasion sometimes.

Your doing good!

Jeanette

[Maya44]

Sorry doa, my answer seems the DB way and the one that I'd have gotten as an answer had I asked. Option 1 seems too sneaky on your part and if she's mad already it probably wouldn't help things. It seems that it would force her to do something she doesn't want to do.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Good one Dar!

Jeanette is right too.

DBing is guidelines not a rule book.

[doa180]

I think you all are right. I will tell her. Although to be honest, in the recesses of my brain I am hopeful that it will cause a small tinge of guilt in her if she decides to come up by herself a day later than everybody else. I am also pretty sure that I don't want to be spiteful, and she would probably find out that I already knew and then I would prove to her that she is right and that I am a jerk and teh bane of all that is good. (just kidding a little about that last part)

[Jeanette1120]

Absolutly nothing wrong in hoping she will feel some sort of remorse!! We all wish for that!! Just don't get too upset if she doesn't show it.

LOL

SEE?? If you lie about it, look at the twisted little trail of YOUR BEING A JERK AGAIN it will lead to.

Keepin up with lies is sooooooooo difficult. I actually wonder how some of these MLC'er do this???

[angelica]

I said to my therapist about the lies - and he liked it: it is like running a large and complicated computer programme on a computer that is a bit too small for it - it distorts and slows up everything else. The lies that they live make it hard for them to process ANYTHING else.

This isn't LBS spite!

[doa180]

Well, W texted me earler about something and I said that when I talk to the kids tonite I would like to talk to her for a minute about a change in Christmas plans. We'll see how it goes.