Thanks Dom, you are a sweetie. The problem is that he has used the house as colatoral for other loans so much that we don't have anything else to put up. He did tell me last night that what he had borrow against the old vehicles was too much and that we could not possibly sell it for enough money. He does seem to be trying to work something out in his mind, and that helps me a lot just to know he is at least "thinking" about what to do. I think I have talked him into giving the dog away and he has even found somebody that wants it. The other person is to talk our GS into it, but since he didn't even ask if he could bring it to our home to keep, I don't think he should have too much to say about it. I don't want to hurt him, but it is me and my H that it taking care of the dog, the GS isn't showing much responsibility in the matter.
Anyway, I felt better after my H talked to me about it. Like I told him yesterday, I just needed him to talk to me about what his plans were.....and as usual, he looked at me dumbfounded. But, when he finished discussing it, then I did feel a lot better. He did ask me what I expected him to do and I told him that I expected him to keep our yard looking like everyone else's in the neighborhood's looked. He didn't say anything, but finally he did say he wanted to get it cleaned up. So, I just hope he will do it.
Sorry to dump on you all here at Christmas time. I hope all of you have a good holliday. It doesn't seem like Christmas to me b/c the way things have changed in our family tradition, but we have to keep carrying on, don't we?
Everyone stay well and try to be as happy as you can and we will pray that this next year will be better than the past.
God Bless
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I've followed your posts, just nothing for me to add. I just want to offer up some hugs and prayers to you and your situation. Things have been tough for you and this time of the year is supposed to be a joyous event, but many times it can be just the opposite. My hugs and prayers to you, your husband and your family.
Sandi, some banks will release the title if they know the cars will be impounded. For the bank, it is better to get half their money than almost none of their money on lower valued vehicles.
Call the bake/lender and explain what is going on. Let them help you make a decision.
I assume the vehicles are older. Do you know their wholesale value? http://WWW.KBB.COM is one site that has wholesale/ actual cash values (ACV) for vehicles. There is a big price difference between what a car lot asks for a car and what it is actually worth (ACV)
Also, the dog thing. BTDT. BB had a dog wh had to find anothe home for It was tough for a month but I know the dog has a better home now than when he was with us.
We treated him well but now he is in a home with fewer dogs and around 12 yr old kids, instead of 2 and 4 yr old kids that pull hair.
It means a lot to me that you would stop by my thread to offer up a hug. I need it today, but I think you need one a lot more. I have followed your stitch as well, (not from the very beginning), but don't think I ever posted but maybe once to IC. It breaks my heart that things have taken the turn that they have. I can't begin to know how hard it would be to find forgiveness, but somehow you two seem to be very special people...not just as a couple, but as individuals. And, like the old saying goes, time can heal a lot. More importantly, Love is able to overcome an awful lot of bad things. I think your H has about as good of timing as me and my H do. That can really stink!
Sweetheart, I believe that you can heal from this b/c in spite of IC's stupid conduct, he sounds like he is crazy about you and I think you love him, but it's hard to feel the love from all the pain you are in right now. It's just a shame that men think with the wrong "head".
Anytime you need to vent or just talk, I'm here. My prayers are with you too, honey.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I've followed your threads off and on but never had a lot to add, so I haven't said much. Just wanted to offer you a hug today.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Anyway, I felt better after my H talked to me about it. Like I told him yesterday, I just needed him to talk to me about what his plans were.....and as usual, he looked at me dumbfounded. But, when he finished discussing it, then I did feel a lot better.
That, in itself, sounds like a really positive thing between you two. it's really good to hear it.
Maybe the first time you talked about it, he was kinda in shock, and he went into "wall" mode, as kinda a defense. 'cause he really didnt have any idea what to do. But now, he's had a bit more time to think about it. so HE's not in panic mode, which makes him easier to talk to about it.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
I hope you are right, b/c I sure went into panic mode. But, he has always done like that and tried to work everything out kind of behind my back.....only that's not really the way to put it, he just don't talk with me about it, so it doesn't appear that he is doing anything or that it is worrying him and of course, I worry myself sick wondering what we are going to do.
Anyway, thanks again, for your advice and your concern.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I worry myself sick wondering what we are going to do.
Does he generally solve the problem in a timely and effective way when he works things out "behind your back," or does he usually let the sh!t hit the fan and leave you to clean it up?
Sandi, Merry Christmas and all the best to you and your husband and family in the New Year. I haven't posted in a month. My sitch is the same, divorce is in the works. My sons are with me for Christmas, so that is a blessing. I have been on a few dates with one of the moms of the kids I coach in football, fun, but no sparks or real chemistry. A girl I know from Boston is coming down to visit me in January, and a girl that I work with has got my attention, so I guess I'm moving on. I don't even talk to my wife the same way, I have lost her attention and I suppose she has lost mine. I hope things are better in your sitch. Let's hope 2008 is a much better year for all of us.
"We're here for a good time, not a long time" ________________________________________
M:48 W: 43 S;20, S;10 Married: 14 Years / Together 17 Years Bomb Dropped: 2/4/07 Separated: 6/29/07 D to be filed by my W soon.
Well, I don't know that he has ever gotten anything done in a timely way. That is one of the main things that we are so different about and that drives me nuts........effectively....well, that's hard to say...just depends on the what the situation is. I'll see withing the next two days if he is going to do anything about this in a timely way!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
and needs to sell 3 of them.