Just a short note to my friends here about a message I wanted to pass along. It's a bit of wonderful wisdom that I feel is relevant to ALL of us here - standing, piecing, divorcing, GAL, moving on, finding new paths, acting as if, completely over it, standing still, finding old interests, just arriving here or just picking yourself off the bathroom floor from a bomb on this messy ride.
Wherever each of us are - we do have something in common - Life. It's why we came here - to make sense of something that happened to us - but in a larger sense, to make sense of our lives again. All of us have our waking moments, 24 hours in a day, and each minute given to us. And, with that, we have the choice and power to make of it what we will.
So, the little story.
On a recent air trip, I sat next to the most amazing, vibrant and inspiring woman I have met in a long, long time.
She was in her 70's, looked like in her 50's...and what a life she had led. She had just gotten back from a 2 month trip in Asia, worked as a travel writer and columnist. This, after a successful career as a clinical psychologist. She raised 4 children, and had a long and sweet marriage to a man she was still very much in love with.
But, later, I found that life wasn't always a bed of roses. She started life from scratch, a woman in the 60s leaving a very abusive M with 1 small child and pregnant with another. She had nothing, but with determination, and placing her kids and career first, she achieved quite a lot. She married again and had a beautiful 40-year M.
I listened to her speak....she was vibrant, full of life and energy it made me tired! So open-minded, open to new experiences, traveling, still working, making the whole plane laugh as soon as she came on board. A full personality with experience to write a book.
I sat in awe of her...thinking to myself "geez....what an amazing person and life. I want to be like that."
And, as if to read my mind, she said...."I want to tell you something. Life happens. It's not easy. But, things DO get better. I am here to tell you, you can be happy. You can do a lot, no matter what. I was very depressed for a long while, and my grandmother gave me excellent advice......'Be the person you want to be with - enjoy your own company.' That got me started on the woman I wanted to become, I was so unformed."
The best of what she said, "Live the life now that you want - don't wait for someone else. That will come when you're not looking."
"If your heart is beating, you have breath in you, and your mind is curious, it's your duty to live life fully." A glowing wink and she was off the plane and down the gate hall.
It was as if she knew what I was thinking, and was telling me "you can have a great life, too. Just live it."
I thought of each of you here. My friends on this hard journey, one that brought me to my knees and I wished away in vain. But, now I see that it was part of living. Part of what brought me to a place where I know that I CAN live the life I want, a place where I know what I want in a good life, a place where I can say I like the woman I am, and still have a long way to go! It was wonderful to see someone so full of life say "I went through hard times, and felt empty - but slowly you feel full again. Just commit to living life."
This isn't a message to pound anyone to count your blessings, or chin up, or cheer up or not to have a pity party. That's part of the ride. This is tough. This is awful at times.
It's only to say, there is light. No matter where you are on this journey or what you're hoping for, we all have life in us, a heart that is beating, and we can live it fully...with spark and spunk.
Cheers to a vibrant life, well-lived, for all of us in the years to come!
I love you, always. You are one of the most amazing people yourself. I'm so glad you shared this story; I know you were meant to bump into this lady on the plane as part of YOUR journey. Cheers to a vibrant life. Well said!
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
"Live the life now that you want - don't wait for someone else. That will come when you're not looking."
This is a true statement. I think we all know it deep down, but we lose sight of it in the big picture. Hopefully someday soon we can all learn to live our lives to the fullest without having to be reminded.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could be as inspirational as the woman you met on the plane?
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Wondered where you've been. What a wonderful experience, thanks for sharing. It was certainly worth the wait. Don't be such a stranger, your insight helps many.
That was a wonderful post. Wouldn't we all love to be the kind of person that leaves such a mark when we meet someone?
I asked my sister who is 10 years younger (30-something) this evening: If you could start all over and it's just you, what kind of life would you create?
She said she honestly didn't know. But, that's really where I am. My kids are mostly grown (23 and 18) and no one needs me to "be here" every evening. I fix dinner, it's always at 6, no one shows up. So, what kind of life do I want to create?
I think I'll take your friends advice and see who I would want to be!
Hugs, sun
"Tell me what you plan to do with your one wild and precious life." Mary Oliver
we can all use a little insperation at times. Especially now.
"Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could be as inspirational as the woman you met on the plane? "
and I second that...!
TOH
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
