Taking it day by day...

[Hurtin4certain]

Looks like my 1st thread is locked. WOW! That was fast.

Anyways, Ford my email is: [e-mail]

Last night was rough for me, after W picked up D from my house, D called about an hour later. She was crying that she wanted her family back and that she wanted to come live with me.

I think her mom might be neglecting her by constantly chatting on the phone with OM. In addition, W makes no effort to try and shield D from her conversations. Makes me so mad.

When I was dating, I made the mistake of introducing my gf to D. W went NUTS!!! D wasn't very receptive either so I stopped bringing gf around her and I also made it a point to not chat on the phone with gf when I had D. If I had to speak to gf, I would just send her a text as to not upset my D.

It seems my W is pretty serious about this guy from Vegas is she is making no effort to try and conceal her conversations with him. Im beginning to think that she is trying to get D to accept him as part of their lives.

Sad today.

[Hurtin4certain]

D sent me an instant message this morning telling me she misses me and loves me, what a doll. After messaging with D, W took over and asked if I had coerced D into saying that she wanted to come live with daddy. I told her that was of her own free will.

We made small talk about D and I told W that D has been going to church with me and singing her heart out. W responded with a "crying face icon".

I think W is also seeing how strong my R with D has become. Hopefully she will begin to see what kind of family she is missing out on. W told me it makes her happy that D and I have been spending quality time together.

Makes me wonder if it makes her happy because she feels guilty.

[Larrynarry]

Yup.. BTDT.

Not much you can do about it unless your W will listen to requests.

D5 has been overly emotional.. constantly saying she wants us back together.. wants to spend more time with me.. see me more.

W is constantly either on the phone or with OM.

Detach.. Detach.. Detach.

All I can say. It's for your own protection. She's not your W right now.. she's someone else.

You also mentioned the going out all the time thing as well. This is sort of like a MLC. My W is doing the same things. I get what she's doing.. she went to college, quit before she finished and was pregnant with D5 before she turned 21 (actually turned 21 while pregnant). So.. she's "figuring out who she is". I believe that's kind of hard to do when you are shacking up with someone else.. but whatever.

I'm confident one day she will look back on all this and realize she made a TON of mistakes.

Maybe we will be back together.. maybe not.

.02

[Hurtin4certain]

Jar... I agree with you. Totally an alien. Where's Will Smith from Independance Day when you need him?

Im going to continue trying to detach... sometimes I have to fake it like Im detaching when in actuality Im hurtin.

Its sad because the last time I detached, I basically stopped loving my W. Im hoping I can keep the love alive in hopes that one day she will come back. So hard to do when we dont even enter their minds.

[Yoyowife]

H4C,
You are doing a nice job. Just remember to keep the conversation light. You have grown so much sense you first started posting. With the help of all of the wonderful people on here, we gain strength. I know I did.

[Hurtin4certain]

Thanks Yoyo, I appreciate the encouragement.

I just feel so bad for my D... poor thing.

I told her I would take her to the planetarium next weekend... we're both looking forward to it.

One foot in front of the other.....

[Hurtin4certain]

Journaling... well I just called to talk to D, no answer. Today was an ok day. I tried to stay busy at work and not think about sitch.

I think I struggle with GAL. Im a family man by nature and prefer staying in (during the week) as opposed to going out. I know I need to do a 180 and get out there but most of my buddies live in other cities closer to Denver.

On a positive, I started lifting weights again. After learning about OM, Ive been dropping weight like crazy. In August I weighed 230 lbs solid...now Im about 205lbs.

My appetite is slowly coming back so I'll start eating right again and try to regain some of the muscle Ive lost.

In addition, Im actually going to try a tanning salon... I felt weird at first but in speaking with the girl at the front counter,she said lots of men tan.

Cant wait to be less pastey!

[Hurtin4certain]

Finally spoke to D. She is doing better today but it sounds like she is suffering from anxiety (headaches and butterflies in stomach). Part of me misses W and part of me doesnt like her. Really weird.

I understand how it feels to be in love (or infatuated) with someone, but thats no excuse to neglect your kid.

W and I IM'd each other today regarding D. Conversation went really well but it seems like W is sad.

I told her that D is going to church with me and singing her little heart out, W seemed sad that she was missing that. I know I need to keep on being the bigger person but this is really hard. Im still struggling with letting go and not trying to control her. Im also struggling with the fact we were a family again and then W yanked that out from under us. I remember her saying that I wasnt pursuing her enough, in actuality I was taking things really slow and not trying to scare her off.

I guess in due time, I'll feel better about the sitch.

Detach, H4C, detach.

[LL44]

My appetite is slowly coming back so I'll start eating right again and try to regain some of the muscle Ive lost.

This happened to me, and I have gained a few pounds back since my loss this summer. I am not eating right. Nip it in the bud, and you'll be hot!!

[Hurtin4certain]

Haha! Im going to try!