Ok, this is the deal. I discovered H was chatting alot with other women online after a year of marriage. We also met online, but nothing sexual was involved when we met. After I found out, he swore he would stop. Well, I found out several times after that he was continuing it. It was a big issue in our M. He left in August. Started dating a girl he met online. They lived together briefly. We started a sexual relationship again before I found out about her. When I found out, I disappeared for a week. He flipped out, and came back home. He said when he was with her, he didn't do the online thing. Well, he left a week after moving back home. Since then, he has tried initiating a sexual relationship with me again. Which I did not allow. He is dating the OW again. And I have discovered he is having random sex with women he's meeting online. So my question is, would you consider this to be a sex addict!? What would you call this!? and WTF!?
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
btw, he says he's seeing a lawyer tomorrow and I will be served with papers next week. And this is after we had a disagreement this afternoon. And last week he was coming up with reasons as to why he shouldn't file. AND we are driving up north to his family's cottage for Thanksgiving together and will be there with his family all weekend.
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
Is he on drugs or alcohol too? He sounds as unstable as they come. You are going to have draw some boundaries for yourself and stick to them, or he will have you on a different rollercoaster ride every day.
as far as I know, no drugs. He is military, so he gets randomly tested. But the OW is an ex coke addict. He has increased in alcohol intake in the last 1.5 years. Several times a week and when he binge drinks. I will not have sex with him. I can't risk that. I told him, if he wasn't with someone else, maybe we could help each other out. That's how it was before because I didn't know about her. He doesn't know that I know about the other women he's met online recently. And I won't tell him. He also had arranged to meet someone one night in the time period that we were doing our thing and before I found out about the OW. So he was not only cheating on her with me, but also with another girl.
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
he also does most of the online stuff while he is at work. It has always been a huge issue in our M. I almost left him many times because of it. He even said before that he believes he's addicted to it. But when he was with the OW, he said he didn't do it. But I've got proof that he arranged a meeting with someone during that time. He's very secretive about it. He's pushed away almost his whole family because of this OW. That he met online!!!! He's left me and the kids. The more I read about it, the more things are coming up that I remember.
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
Julz...it sounds like he is absolutely a sex addict. Many men get addicted to all the free porn and chat websites on the internet. In fact, Ive read that its becoming an epidemic because its so accessible.
Have you read Divorce Remedy, it specifically has a chapter in it regarding online infidelity. Perhaps that can help with some of your questions.
You cant let it show that you are concerned and worried that he is filing for divorce. HE IS THE ONE IN THE WRONG. What you do and how you act now will have a significant impact on how your marriage pans out.
Stay strong..I know this sucks.
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
thanks guys for your input. i ended up texting him and telling him i would like to talk to him about some stuff that has been said. i told him after the kids have gone to bed, maybe bring over some beers and we can talk. i didn't tell him what it is about tho. he did seem open to the idea. we talk better on text or through iming, but i told him this was a conversation i would like to have in person. he brought up about when we go to up north for thanksgiving. but i told him i didn't want to talk about it with others around and that honestly, i wanted to have fun up there, no serious bs. so i told him, it can wait. it's nothing that would change anything, but i still wanted to talk. i have read DR and i do remember the chapter. i'll have to bring it back out again. and i will definitely check out the other site. thanks guys Me - 28 H - 28 S - 2.5 yrs D - 6 months 1st bomb August 2007 2nd bomb Nov. 2007
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
also, does anyone have any ideas as to go about the conversation. i'm not going to tell him i snooped yet again and found out about the recent online activity. that was also a major issue in our M. that's how i found out about it all those times. i would stop for a while, then i would get suspicious of how he was acting and i'd snoop and wouldn't be disappointed!!!! but how can i go about this?! any ideas!?
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
