Oh my God is anyone out there that can help -- these almost 6 weeks have been hell! It all came as a shock My H is having an affair with a co-worker, he has moved out I found out by accidentally running into him at the cell phone store, he's truck was fully packed and ready to go got an apt not far from here, it should have just moved in with her. Took all the checks to our joint account, I had 2 checks left in my book paid mortgage for Dec and bought food for the 3 boys. I am more than rock bottom, It has been a roller-coaster ride. We have ben married for 18 years! I think he may just be going thru a mid-life crisis but ... Oh my god! The pain is unbearable ... the shaking has not stopped he called me at work adn got confrontional with a supv who had me pull a restraining order because it was that bad. I want him to go DV counseling and of course some major parenting classes. I want my marraige back I want it put back together but in differnt pieces I want a secure and faithful H ( he has never done this before). Help desperete to talk to someone who is wanting the marraige back -- my friends think it's over --
Hi adriana- I am so sorry for your pain and what you are going through. You have come to a very good place to get support and advice. I am no expert nor do I have enough information to tell you if your H is having a MLC. If he is, hold on to your hat because if you want to stand for your M, this is one long and bumpy ride. I'm not going to say this to be mean, but if your H is having a MLC, you can pretty much count on the M that you knew to be over. Now that does not mean that your marriage can not be "restored" but MLC takes time...lots of time...and lots and lots of patience from the LBS but many MLCers do return.
Right now you should read all of the resources here and on other websites. Go to your local library and find books about MLC. They will all tell you to detach, GAL (get a life) and try to have a PMA (positive mental attitude). Move on with your life as best you can because this not only helps you make it through each day, but it also prepares you for a future that may not include your H.
Now, with all that being said, it sounds like you should be contacting an attorney if your H was the major bread winner of the household and he has cut you off. If you do contact an attorney, try to find one that understands that you want to save your marriage. A lot of family law attorneys out there just want to bill whatever they can so they will press the D.
Adriana - you will get advice from people more qualified than me, but you might want to consider geting some Anti-depressants to get you through the next few weeks. A good doctor will prescribe ones for shock and distress, not anti-psychotics . . .
If it is MLC then the h you knew is away for a good while. Read the resource threads. He sounds like he might be a mean one. Come here and pour your heart out. read other people's threads,too, and we will all try and support you in this horrible time. You will make good friends - the people here are the best and have saved my life, helping me to understand what is going on, being there for me, and laughing and crying together.
It is the most fun you will have while your h is on this rollercoaster ride, in all probability.
