All is well here. I get a little edgy when I know that I won't have the kids for the weekend. But I have a lot to do, so hopefully I will stay busy.
My friend has invited me to a party Friday night. She knows that I don't have the kids this weekend.
Friend: Come with me Friday night the XYZ Accountants Party. You can be my "date" (she is female and, no...we are not dating).
Me: Um, you mean the accountants that H has contacted to value his businesses for the divorce?
Friend: Oh. Well then come the to ABC bar with us after the party for some drinks.
Me: Okay. Who all is going?
Friend: {After long silence) Fred and his wife.
Me: Oh. You mean H's divorce lawyer?
Friend: {Long silence}
We were all friends prior to all of this mess. Yet "Fred" doesn't see any problem in representing H. And he told my friend that he doesn't understand why I am mad at him. He says that this is just business.
And I understand that this is just business to him. But it is personal to me. And I cannot separate the two - sorry, maybe I an not a big girl yet, but I cannot separate the two. So my friendship with him has cooled considerably...okay maybe it is ice cold......
I told my friend that I am not mad at him, I am just uncomfortable around him.
And, I can't even imagine that it is wise to go to a bar, have several drinks, and hang out with your H's divorce attorney. I have a tendency to chat when I am drinking.
This is not an option. This is almost an ethical breach. That L should know better than allow any contact with oposition during proceedings. It could confuse you. It could compromise you. Or were he to drink too much and talk to openly it could do the same for his client. It is not an option.
Please do what Tom suggested and share the story with your L, if for no other reason than to make sure it does not come back on you later ... told in quite the opposite story line.
Oh, there is NO way that I am going. And my friend realized that the minute I asked who else was going. She wasn't even thinking about it beforehand because it was always something that we had done in the past.
AT - I did speak with an attorney awhile ago and asked if the past friendship represents conflict of interest and he said no. I found this to be very surprising to me. Is it only a conflict if I had spoken to this friend about representing me? If you can't tell me this, I understand.....
MrsH - I agree - I just wouldn't do it. I wouldn't represent one friend over another, but this guy is known as one of the most cut throat in my area. The minute I found out that H had spoken to him, I thought it would get nasty. Who knows...it may yet.
But the Friday night situation doesn't upset me - I actually found it somewhat amusing that she was asking me to these events, given the people involved. She was just trying to get me out of the house.....I appreciated it.
Hi w8ing- Several years ago my XH took me back to court to try to get alternating weeks with the kids. When that was going on my H (who is my attorney ) ran into a good friend of mine, her H and my XH's attorney...we talked for a few minutes and he told me the exact same thing..."it's just business"...and I responded exactly like you did. I think attorney's that practice family law try to convince themselves that it's just business so they can live with themselves.
Keep up the PMA. You're a great example around here.
Yes.. no partying with the enemy or the aliens, eh ? I dont know all the specifics.. but it is close to an ethical issue for the L to suggest.. or invite you ? Just tell your counsel about it and he/she can decide what to do ?
As for a conflict of interest issue.. If that L has represented you before on other personal matters which were and/or should not be disclosed to your spouse.. maybe ?
I am not licensed to practice law in your state.. so .. I cannot advise you.. just one guys opinion. Take care.. go hang out with some bingo folks or something tommorrow ? Something ?
) ran into a good friend of mine, her H and my XH's attorney...we talked for a few minutes and he told me the exact same thing..."it's just business"...and I responded exactly like you did. I think attorney's that practice family law try to convince themselves that it's just business so they can live with themselves.