Piecing is VERY, VERY hard. I have found piecing way harder than when we were separated. It takes a lot of patience. A lot of understanding. A lot of learning. A lot of soul searching.
Your W is likely working through her own things right now. The best thing you can do right now is give her the space to do so. I know it's killing you. And the hope/goal is for you and your W to reconnect emotinoally and physicially. But now is not that time. You and she are both working towards that goal.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
That's the part I struggle to understand and wonder about. Is she working toward that goal or just paying lip service?
Manwithaheart,
JM makes a good point here, but, it's irrelevant whether or not she's working toward the same goal (sorry JM). While I'm not completely familiar with the history of your sitch, you must have been doing some things right for her to come back home in the first place.
What were the things you were doing that were working? My suggestion would be get back to basics -- go a little dark and focus on your GAL activities. Take the focus off of her behavior and focus on your own personal improvement.
And don't worry about the meltdown. I had the mother of all meltdowns and he still came back...now we're engaged!
Well it has been a while again since I've been on here.
been so busy with xmas coming and just to burnt out after work to go online.
My W and I have started to get into watching Heroes every night (have season 1 on DVD)and tend to go to bed right after.
Things have been very slowly getting better. W has started to sleep in the same bed as me. It sorta just happend I guess... one night she came to bed and has slept there since.
Still no sex yet but I guess it will get to that point. Kissing has become more heartfelt. she did by a little outfit to wear around me she kinda just showed it to me and that was that. I think she is saving it for around xmas. Kinda of a tease if you ask me.
We still talk and it has still been calm talks...
Thankz Just Me and Cat for your last posts.
W: 28 Me: 27 No kids Bomb: 12/27/06 ILUBNILWU Sep: 2/16/07 Came home: 08/30/07
hey there! horay for her coming to the bed! (nothing here either, but I've almost made my peace with it) It's a huge step, so count that as a plus, the sex will come eventually, she wouldn't sleep in the same bed if she didnt' foresee it in the future, so be patient, just like you've been all this time. Hope you have a very merry christmas, he he, wink wink
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
My W and I have started to get into watching Heroes every night (have season 1 on DVD)
This is an extremely good sign! What did you do to contribute to this change in behavior?
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We still talk and it has still been calm talks...
Again, another very good sign! Are these R talks? If so, who is initiating them? In what ways are you participating in these talks?
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W has started to sleep in the same bed as me. It sorta just happend I guess... one night she came to bed and has slept there since.
Still no sex yet but I guess it will get to that point. Kissing has become more heartfelt.
This is huge, man, HUGE, I tell you! Don't rush things with you W at this point. Let her take the lead. She'll let you know when she's ready.
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she did by a little outfit to wear around me she kinda just showed it to me and that was that...Kinda of a tease if you ask me.
Dude, you need to read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. This too is a huge step. She's getting ready to let you know. She's checking to see if you are still interested. The trick here is to balance interest with detachment. You don't want to appear too eager; while at the same time she's wondering if you still accept her after all you two have been through. Never, never underestimate the power or the intent of a woman teasing you. It's part of our mating dance.
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I think she is saving it for around xmas.
Caution here. Keep your expectations low...and I mean really low, like zero. If you start projecting expectations, she'll interpret it as pressure and run for the hills. Remember, let her take the lead. Hard for you Martians, I know, but trust me.
I interpret this an extremely positive post, MW! Lots of very good signs. Remember that one of the core tenents of DR is analyzing what works and keeping at it. Pay attention to what you are doing differently, and check her responses. If she responds positively, keep it up. If there is no response, keep testing it. If there is a negative response, drop it like a hot coal!
Keep up the good work! Share with us what you are doing differently -- it helps you learn as well as others.
but I guess it will get to that point. Kissing has become more heartfelt. she did by a little outfit to wear around me 
