Yes, my husband is on his way back home, well for awhile, anyway. He is putting the boat on "the hard" for the winter and driving back here to live with me until he starts school next summer. What a complete change from last year @ this time when he attempted to sail across the Atlantic, but only got as far as Bermuda. Bad weather forced him back - there must be a God.
We've talked about our future together. He seems really gung ho about it. Now, I know that is the bipolar thing talking. He wants to start a family again (it would have to be a donor egg @ this point). We tried adoption in 05 - 06, but he doesn't have the patience for that process.
Can't quite describe how I feel about his return. My head tells me to be happy, but my heart isn't so sure. He has made the comical comment that he is going to be paying for this for a long time. I laughed and laughed and of course agreed whole heartedly!!
What concerns me the most is the money. The money he gave me is now all but gone. Fortunately my salary was doubled temporarily for about a year to work on this project out of town. The project is about to come to an end I will go back to working for peanuts (but I did just get a 10% raise, which will take some of the sting out). Yet, that old salary + 10% will still not cover the huge mortgages on a big house. He knows this. He says he has a plan.
He has been unemployed for 1.5 years now since he has been aimlessly floating on a boat (well he did interview for school). There are tens of thousands of dollars of unpaid bills of his (fortunately my credit has not been affected). So, I just can't imagine what his plan would be. I am afraid to ask.
So, I think I must look for a better paying job that can match what I am making now with double my normal salary. That would be the only way I could keep the house,which has been on the market for over a year now. He picked a really bad time to wack out.
He asked me what would make me happy - it was a long list. My top pick was a maid. 2nd was a husband that lives with me that can honestly disclose his financial situation. I also asked for a new wedding ring to symbolize our new marriage. He says he intends to provide everything on my "happy list". That will be the day!!
Any advice from those of you with return-again spouses? I'm not even sure I want him here, which is a strange feeling. But, I told him I am willing to try again. I know he will help out with the pets and chores which will be welcomed. It has been difficult since I inherited all of his "stuff" that needs taken care of. Yes, he will be paying for this for a long time - like the rest of his life!!
Deb
Joy and Sorrow...when one sits alone with you at your board, remember the other is asleep upon your bed. ~Kahlil Gibran
Me: 46 H: 45 Married: 5.0+ years Bomb: May 17, 2006 0 living children, 2 babies in heaven 1 dog, 2 cats
he will be paying for this for a long time - like the rest of his life!! ======================================= well, with that kind of attitude I wonder how far you guys will go. Dont' mean to sound harsh, but if you don't even feel right and your top picks are a maid you might want to rearrange your priorities. Like, going to MC would be #1.
I wouldn't go back with someone if I knew they'd never let me forget my mistakes.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
......well, with that kind of attitude I wonder how far you guys will go.....top picks are a maid.....you might want to rearrange your priorities. Like, going to MC would be #1.
Cat03 -
Have done the MC, have done the forgiving (the rest of his life was more of a joke - sorry you didn't get it). Top pick is a maid because he doesn't clean. I have a full time job (which is more than a full time job) and then he is a full time job, as well.
Yes, MC with my husband is on the list. But, I need a maid first, so I will have time to go to MC with my husband living here. Get it??
Thanks for your input.
Deb
Joy and Sorrow...when one sits alone with you at your board, remember the other is asleep upon your bed. ~Kahlil Gibran
Me: 46 H: 45 Married: 5.0+ years Bomb: May 17, 2006 0 living children, 2 babies in heaven 1 dog, 2 cats
