Last night H made me dinner- soup really fast, but dinner. I had started working and got carried away and didn't realize the time.
I told H I was working on trying to make room in the closet- I just had to figure it out (the OCD anal part of me). He chuckled and jokingly said- I thought you were sending me a message or something. I did manage to move some stuff around so he has some space of his own. I also told him I was trying to figureout where to put some of my stuff so he could have some drawers in the dresser too. He said thanks
Last night H was online looking through the house listings in our area.
things are going OK.
When life gives you lemons, trade them for limes and break out the tequila!!-- Soxfan2007
7/1/05 Bomb 7/20/05 H moves out 2.5 years of Rollercoaster 10/30/07 H moves back home
Hi Soxfan, I am not a poster to your thread but a regular reader. I live in MA and have a house full of 'Soxfans' so it was a natural gravitation..
So happy to hear that things have turned a corner for you and your H. My H and I are piecing too. Funny thing about the closet. It is like the room in the bed. Not sure how much space to give. Crowding vs. too much space and it is even funnier how it is interpreted.
So, if you're a Red Sox fan does that mean you are a Pats fan too?
Me: 41 H: 42 Married: 13Y, together 24 Kids: S11, S9, D6 Bomb: 7/11/06, now piecing
No, it means she has issues and needs some help........
Pepsi just snorted out my nose!! Some men find if exhilerating that a chick knows just as much sport talk as they do!!! And just because my classroom is all New England sports themed and I have pennants and posters and signs all over the place, and I teach all day everyday with sports examples and sports stories, and my 4th graders are playing fantasy footall in math and my 10 yr old D knows more about football and baseball then most men I've met, and that my doctorate thesis will be on using sports to teach math---- doesn't mean that I have issues!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pats, Celtics and Bruins. I do split my college cheers between BC, Florida U and Syracuse though.
When life gives you lemons, trade them for limes and break out the tequila!!-- Soxfan2007
7/1/05 Bomb 7/20/05 H moves out 2.5 years of Rollercoaster 10/30/07 H moves back home
OK so it's been about 3 weeks now I guess. And I'm not sure. I don't feel happy anymore. I feel like things are going right back to where they were. That my needs are thrown right out the window- again.
I feel like the me that I found has been lost again- whoosh- gone in the blink of a month.
I feel manipulated, used, and like he's only back because he ran out of money and needed me to bail him out.
How do I tell H that the new me won't take this anymore? How do I tell him that I'm not happy and maybe he is right- we just can't live together?
I'm tired of bending. I'm always the one who is supposed to make others happy and please others-- I'm done with that. It's time for Sox and with H here- that has been lost.
When life gives you lemons, trade them for limes and break out the tequila!!-- Soxfan2007
7/1/05 Bomb 7/20/05 H moves out 2.5 years of Rollercoaster 10/30/07 H moves back home
You were the first to post to me back when I started in newcomers 2 years ago- LisaC-I just wanted to thank you for that support then. I too am "piecing" and experiencing the same things. My H drives me crazy with how he just came home and took over basically. We have had alot of talks about this. He has came home and left twice since he oringinally come home. Each time it gets harder. His stuff is everywhere and my things and the kids stuff has lost ground her in the house. I totally understand where you are coming from- I too struggle for the answers on how to handle it. I don't want to nag but??? Youknow we both have changed alot since they left and we are new people and they just don't realize all that entails.
Don't lose yourself- You have worked hard for you. Hopefully we can both find some answers to work through this.
Love,Lisa
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
You were the first to post to me back when I started in newcomers 2 years ago- LisaC-I just wanted to thank you for that support then. I too am "piecing" and experiencing the same things. My H drives me crazy with how he just came home and took over basically. We have had alot of talks about this. He has came home and left twice since he oringinally come home. Each time it gets harder. His stuff is everywhere and my things and the kids stuff has lost ground her in the house. I totally understand where you are coming from- I too struggle for the answers on how to handle it. I don't want to nag but??? Youknow we both have changed alot since they left and we are new people and they just don't realize all that entails.
Don't lose yourself- You have worked hard for you. Hopefully we can both find some answers to work through this.
Love,Lisa
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
Sox, First let me say that my H is a huge Sox fan... and Pats and URI basketball, etc...
Anyway, I was where you are a year ago. I remember telling my H in MC that my needs aren't even considered. What I now know is that my H was at that time unable to focus on my needs. He was too busy confused in his own head.
Maybe this will jsut take time. I think the issue of your needs does need to be addressed at some point. But you need to determine... is he still figuring out himself, or is now as good a time as any...
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
Sox, you jumped around enough that you almost was able to hide from me but now I have found you. As for your sitch, I feel your pain with him taking over but try and be patient with him. It could turn out really great. It all takes time and I was like you, I expected to see my wife do a 180 and when she didn't I turned to my old self, she turned to her old self and now we are getting a D.
The ride is over. M 38 WAW 39 08/06 out to give WAW space Bomb 10/06 Back Home 2/07 New Bomb 4/17/07 WAW out 06/07 Trying again 09/07 Another Bomb 11/23/07 WAW moved back home 12/14/07 WAW moved back out 2/2/08 D 12 S 9
oh man J- that sucks. H and I were getting a divorce twice though- even had the papers filled out- there is still hope if you want it.
Right now I feel like when I am going to go back to my old self and I stop myself- H takes advantage. So I'm working through that. Plus my whole needs not being met thing. It's almost as if he says this month I'm going to focus on meeting Sox's need for _________. Then the next month he puts that aside and focuses on something else.
Somtimes I feel like we are still separated, just living in the same house. He doesn't even initiate an ILY. He replies if I say it, but he doesn't say it first. Or even a kiss goodnight. If I don't say, "hey, kiss?" I don't get a kisss goodnight.
ARGH. His old patterns again. So I push it aside, but then I'm detaching and feel like an outsider.
aw crap.
When life gives you lemons, trade them for limes and break out the tequila!!-- Soxfan2007
7/1/05 Bomb 7/20/05 H moves out 2.5 years of Rollercoaster 10/30/07 H moves back home
