So my other thread got locked... I'll link it in when I get a chance.
Nothing big today.. dropped D's off this morning and W seemed fine. We talked about tonights logistics. It's her day and we agreed to have them do trick or treat at the house.
She called while taking oldest D to school, but it was only to inform me that my L is taking their sweet time again.
OK... so waiting for W and D's to show up for trick or treating. In the powder room, we have several pictures of the D's on the wall. I wasn't happy about having them in the bathroom, but it's kind of cool. It's from 10/29/2006. It was a chilly day.. a weekend. We had spent the day raking leaves and taking pics of the girls jumping in the piles of leaves.
So... W calls to tell me she'll be a little late. The plan was to go to McDonalds grab something to eat for all of us and they'd be over. Instead.. she said she forgot something and they would eat there.
Well.. she shows up and she's changed.. Looks very nice.
Now I know why. Evidently, she met up with OM and his kids for dinner. The plan now is to trick or treat for a while with me and then head to OM's house and trick or treat.
Oh yeah... and her Mom is watching the girls tomorrow instead of me.. last minute notice of course.
Funny.. she basically ignored me the whole time. I told her she looked very nice. Asked how her day was.. you know all the nice "friend" stuff. Bitch.. I finally mentioned that she could talk to me.. her response "Well.. I uh... what do you want... How was your day?".. I told her not to hurt herself. She kept at it, so finally I told her work was going good.. things are moving along. Told her I might get to go to the Bahamas for the company trip. She asked if I was taking her with me. Is she fu@#@#@!!@##!! kidding me? I told her NO.. then she asked who I was taking.. I told her I didn't know. Which is the truth.
A little past this point, she said how much she loved our girls.. how she felt they were made out of true love.
The whole time my D's are saying "We're going to OM's house.. We're going to OM's house"
When they are leaving my oldest just keeps saying it.. I can tell it's unnerving the wife, but I could care less.
One day, I will look back on [censored] like this and realize why I'll be a ton happier without her.
(((((((Jar))))))), I'm so sorry, what a terrible way to spend Halloween. I'm outraged for you. You are right, you do have better things in store for you...
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Thanks Yoyo... It wasn't a good evening up to that point.
Well.. I went over to some friends and had a good time. Had a fire in their backyard and drank. I was able to blow off some steam and get in a better mood.
MIL calls me this morning and asks me to call her back.
Call MIL back and evidently, all of the things that have been happening were unkown to MIL. Surprise Surprise. I guess she found out last night that W and D's were over at OM's house at 10:00.. W has to be at work at 0700. MIL is very much into the D's and evidently ripped W a new one.
W had texted me last night asking if I could watch the girls.. I said I could if she needed me (I had already planned on it) and asked if her mom had bailed. She told me her mom was yelling at her about the kids etc. See above.
Evidently, W told MIL that I was furious that they were watching the D's and not me. Which is absolutely not the case. I was upset that I got told last minute once again.
So.. MIL and I talked for quite a while. She's concerned for the girls and we talked about how things were going. I told them I had no problem with them watching the girls (I'd much rather them than OM!!)
Also.. she owes her parents like 3K for some things.. evidently she told them she would give them money from the horse trailer. Instead, she's paying a few months of horse board so she can keep her horses. FIL is NOT happy about that.
So.. MIL/FIL will be watching girls tonight and I have a feeling that W will be boo hooing later.
Wow jar, you deserved a much better night. I am so sorry. Your W is just being cruel, and that's not right. I canNOT believe she thought you would even think about taking her on the trip. Tell her OM can take her somewhere while you have your beautiful girls on a vacation. I am outraged, like yoyo.
PS: I spent all summer hearing from my girls about OW and her kids, since they all hung out together. Of course, I had no clue for awhile there, but after I did, it freaking killed me to hear about it. I am so sorry about that!
Told her I might get to go to the Bahamas for the company trip. She asked if I was taking her with me. Is she fu@#@#@!!@##!! kidding me? I told her NO.. then she asked who I was taking.. I told her I didn't know. Which is the truth.
You should have been charming and told her that of course you would take her and then made some veiled sexual innuendos (maybe bring up some amazing time you had together during a previous vacation).
NEVER speak or act in a way to make her thankful she's divorcing you. Don't make it that easy for her.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
I appreciate the thought, but at this point and time that wouldn't do much good. She expected me to waffle and say that I would take her.
It was a good 180.. she's very concerned that I'm moving on. She's concerned that there is another woman... which there isn't.
If this had been a day after a good conversation, etc, then I would've followed with this. She is still very much in the throws of her PA. Things will now get a little stormy as MIL/FIL weigh in, so it will be interesting to see what happens.
I've been keeping busy, so I apologize for not catching up with everyone. I'll have some time coming up as I have the D's over the next week. YAY!!!!
Funny.. she basically ignored me the whole time. I told her she looked very nice. Asked how her day was.. you know all the nice "friend" stuff.
That's exactly what mine did while we were trick or treating. Thankfully the kids didn't notice. God that sucked.
I agree that you shouldn't make it easier to want the D, but I think that telling her no in a nice way and you don't know who you are taking is good. I think it's a greener grass over here point.
I'm also think it's good that she's concerned you're moving on.
I'm glad your in-laws are against what she is doing. My STBXW says the in-laws are supportive of her decision, but I have no ideaif that's true or what she is telling them, she asked them not to contact me. I doubt they're getting the real story.
-------------- The Forlorn Hope:...A picked body of men detached to the front to begin the attack....Fortified, meaning strengthened to stand...and thus, positioned for victory
Well... I believe FIL, MIL is another story. She's actually a source of some of our issues. W had school last night and in-laws watched the girls. I'm assuming they had a "talk" after she got home.
I've not heard anything since she got off school. This is usually the time she takes oldest D to school. Sometimes she calls and sometimes she doesn't. Looks like she may not this time.
Ugh... things are sooo distant between us. I've had no choice but to move on. It's the only thing that has kept me sane. I wish something would happen with OM that would rock the boat a little.
I would like to have a decent conversation with her.. I do want to be friendly with her for our D's sake.
