Ok, so I'm moving on over here. Brief explanation. Married 6 years. S 2.5yrs, D 5 months. H left middle of August 2007. I went away at the beginning of this week to have some time to myself after finding out about OW. She was not the reason he left. We had been talking for about 2 weeks before I found out about her and there was alot of R talk initiated by him. He flipped out when he found out I left. He stopped it with the OW that day. I'm back home now and he wants to work it out between us. I haven't seen him since I left Monday. He's not home from work yet. He has already invited me to go away for a weekend that is work related. They're putting us up in a hotel for the weekend. So is there any advice any of you vets can give!? I'm trying not to be too enthusiatic about all this just yet. I've read DB and am in the middle of DR. I know it's going to be a long process, but I'm willing to go through with it. I want to. Thanks! I probably won't be able to check this until tomorrow because he has moved back home while I was away.
Last edited by Julz13; 10/26/0709:39 PM.
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
Julz, The DR and DB books are a good foundation for stabilizing a M in crisis. Your situation shows signs of reconnection, so let's hope for the best. Keep us posted.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
The best thing to do is to sign up for a Retrouvaille weekend. You can find info on dates and locations on their website, http://www.helpourmarriage.com. They will teach you the communication skills you need to problem solve and keep the marriage on an even keel. To really fix a marriage, you need to change the dynamic of what goes wrong. Even if the problem is not in the communication, you can use good communication to find the problem. So it is well worth the weekend investment of time to learn the techniques.
about the ow, the questions will haunt you. Ask yourself before you hound him with questions "how is this helping to keep us together?" many of us let the shadow of the ow rule our minds, dont' give ow that power over you. Best of luck )_))))))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
