My thead locked in record time and shortness!! Update on MLC
Very old friends arrived Saturday evening, and we had a great day on SUnday - went out to Richmond on the Thames, had lunch and walked up to Marble Hill House, and back to Kew, along the river. Very pretty day.
H continued to try and phone on Saturday, and THEN I learned Sunday evening when youngest son arrived for dinner with us, his father had DRIVEN from where he lives to Central London to see him, as son wasn't answering his phone. [It is not an easy or short drive!]
Son wasn't at his home [he is at university, and lives in a shared house], so h spent time driving around London to track him down. They did eventually meet, and apparently he 'sort of' apologised a bit, bt really it was all about self justification. Son says he cannot cut him totally out of his life, but I fear that h is suckering him in to kick him again [as he has done so many times - it reminds me of Charlie Brown and Lucy, in a sad way].
I had another nasty postcard today, but fortunately my friends were staying, and they advised me to shred it. H also called this am, and my friend [male] answered the phone. He hung up without speaking!!
But he must now know that these friends know about his antics, and have seen his spewing postcard. He knows them well [they are/were our oldest friends] and it speaks volumes to me that he couldn't even say hello to Tom.
I find it so weird that he simply cannot leave me alone at present. He was the poster child for the drop out MLCer, and I would go for weeks and weeks without any contact. He is so crazy it is starting to frighten me a little. . . . . I mean after two years of this he is suddenly back in contact telling me how horrible I am. I thought he had got it all out of his system. I think he resents my happiness . . .
But it feels good to have made the decision on no more contact. I refuse to be abused any further, and I wish my son would make the same decision, I admire his courage in continuing the r, but fear that it can only lead to more pain for him.
I agree good for you, your H seem to have gone absolutely nutters ! Unbelievable ! I hope you're ok, I'm happy that you had your friends there to support you !!!
(((((((((hugs)))))))))))
PS, Angelica, how far along are you on the timeline ? I know you're a bit ahead of me !
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Cinders - since you asked! My h had career problems about 7/8 years ago. Nearly 5 years ago he became very depressed, but wouldnt talk about it. Four years ago he had a fairly serious illness, and my mother, at the same time, had a series of strokes that eventually led to her death [h was close to my mother]. Almost 3 years ago January 05 my mother died [after being terminally ill for a year]
July 05 h starts behaving very erratically with everyone. Early October 05 bomb. So I would say it has been coming on for eight years, and I was 'carrying' him from his illness in December 03 until July 05 - cheering him up and cossetting him along.
He has been in full blown MLC since July 2005, IMO. And he is getting worse!
OMG !!! That IS a long time !!!! I think my H started the anger/denial MLC part in dec 2003, it was then JOLTED into action when ow came to work for him in September of 2004 ! That's when all started going WRONG ! So I think I'm in my 4th year now....and it's not looking to end anytime soon !
Good luck and strength to us both !xxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Could it be the birthday and even the holidays that are coming up which is settingh off??? Perhaps his OW is seeing the weirdness going on and she is also withdrawing from him?? His children have told him they want nothing to do with him, you do not accept his calls, friends are now seeing him in full blown action...I'm thinkin the train is rapidly approaching the brick wall!
Stand clear......build a bomb shelter if you must, but he is definatly going off the deep end.
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
Jeanette - my therapist said that he thinks the OW thrives on the drama. She is definitely slightly unhinged. Lives in a small town, and quarrels with everyone. Everything with her is HIGH DRAMA. I think she is one of those that likes quarreling and making up, screaming and sobbing. She made a wonderful scene in public the summer before last with several hundred people present, over some imagined slight froma friend of mine. Ended up looking like a complete fool. People in the town are SORRY for my h for having got involved with her. I suspect she periodically threatens suicide.
My h used to loathe people like that and now he seems to feed of it!! Maybe he takes lessons.
Wow A...that is a while...you are so strong! Well at least your H is no longer stagnant in the tunnel, he's rapidly headed to the bottom. A crash is rapidly approaching.....hes fighting it for all he is worth. Contact after 2 yrs??? thats different.....hes had a look inside doesnt want to face it. Must be someone else's fault.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
I so admire the way you handle things. I'm glad you're having a good time with your friends. It must be really strange for them to see your H acting this way though.
I can appreciate your son's position. It'll take high tensile steel to keep a R with his dad. I hope he feels it's all worth it in the end.
You know how when you hang around someone for a long time you start to talk like them act like them....dress like them??
This sounds like your H. His head is probably so scrambled inside he no longer knows HOW he should act. This could explain his bizzaro behavior of late. He is now her... She is very much a control freak and puts on this whole sick show to get the attention she is looking for. Ugh! Sooner or later people and your husband are going to sick of the DRAMA she craves in life and RUN RUN RUN. He will have to change his name and go under cover to hide from her....she sounds like she could become a stalker if he was to ever leave.
Looking forward to see you too!!! We have our plans in motion. Its a good thing we have several months! Soooooo exciting!!!
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
She is very much a control freak and puts on this whole sick show to get the attention she is looking for. Ugh! Sooner or later people and your husband are going to sick of the DRAMA she craves in life and RUN RUN RUN. He will have to change his name and go under cover to hide from her....she sounds like she could become a stalker if he was to ever leave.