Did anyone see Oprah yesterday? She had 4 women on there that were the "OW." I guess previously she had a round table w/ a bunch of H who were cheating & why, etc. I would have liked to have seen that one.
Oprah & Dr. Phil also touched on the subject of suing the OW/OM for alienation of affection. Interesting subject. I guess in some states, you can sue the person your spouse is cheating w/. I guess my opinion on this one is the spouse is just as hugely responsible!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
I actually saw a movie about this once where the W sued the OW for alienation of affection and one a million dollar judgment. It was based on a true story.
LuvMyHusband Me: 41 H: 43 ch: 3 M: 7+ T: 10+ Bomb: EA 8/07, A over phone/net 10/07 Seperated: 9/07 H ended A/EA with OW again on 1/2008 Reconsile: 3/26/2008, H admitted PA
Red, did the OW say why they would get involved with a married man? How did they feel about participating in destroying a family?
LuvMyHusband Me: 41 H: 43 ch: 3 M: 7+ T: 10+ Bomb: EA 8/07, A over phone/net 10/07 Seperated: 9/07 H ended A/EA with OW again on 1/2008 Reconsile: 3/26/2008, H admitted PA
I'll respond to that tomorrow. Have to get off the computer so S3 will go to bed
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Most of them did not know that the guy was married. When they finally were told or found out, they were already "emotionally" involved.
The one lady that had an A said that when she told her H she was having the A, he actually finally "stepped up to the plate" and was willing to make the changes in himself & the M so that they are now happy, etc.
One woman said that she ended up feeling like it was a competition to be the "winner" and get the guy, but ended up she didn't anyway.
One woman actually was seeing him before and after he got married. I bet she wishes she had decided she was ready to get married before he married this other chick, however, now she's been "dating" this married man for 8 1/2 years!
I don't remember any of them actually saying anything about how they felt about being the one that could possibly be destroying a family, etc.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
I don't remember any of them actually saying anything about how they felt about being the one that could possibly be destroying a family, etc.
That's probably because they are in huge huge denial and probably see the wife as the bad one. That show would have made me so mad. Even IF I got involved with a man thinking he was single, I would hope that my morals would help me end it as soon as I found out.
I would have liked to see the one with the husbands though.
Even IF I got involved with a man thinking he was single, I would hope that my morals would help me end it as soon as I found out.
LWB, I think their thinking on morals is once it’s broken the soup is already spoiled. Like murder. Once you kill one person what difference does it make if ya kill another? Two life sentences? These people don’t respect themselves let alone the marriage of another.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Yeah, I definitely would have liked to have seen the one w/ the guys who were cheating on their wives.
I kind of/sort of "started" to have an EA after H left w/ one of H's "friends" and I got a "bird's eye view" of how it feels and have a better understanding of my H and his affairs (pleural!!!!) Of course, before I get in trouble here, I nipped it in the bud very quickly.
There was this excitement, sexual tension, etc. that obviously is a great feeling. I felt like I was actually attractive to someone else, etc.
I know that it was a choice that H made. The first few he definitely felt were "justified" in that he felt he was being deprived at home and in our M. However, I know that if it ever happens again, he will KNOW what he's doing and know the consequences. I actually don't worry about that though. I've worked through wondering if he just CAN'T be faithful and I know he can. I know if we continue to work on our M and make sure we don't ever allow ourselves to get in "the rut" again, he won't have any reason to.
Last edited by RedHeadWife; 10/21/0712:03 PM.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
There was this excitement, sexual tension, etc. that obviously is a great feeling. I felt like I was actually attractive to someone else, etc.
Slippery slope, isn't it? I have been there this summer too, and had to quickly turn the corner. I can see how it happened with H and OW, but still can't justify it. And yes, since I was cold and distant at home, H ran to someone else.
