yep, scratching my head on that one along with mark. and who isn't suspicious of any of the was motives at this point? I wonder if he thinks its a good way to keep tabs on YOU, lwb. since he thinks you might be up to something, this would give him full access to your phone, too, don't forget. does he normally do the bills or do you? the fact that he had it all ready to order seems, well, a wee bit controlling, or maybe I'm reading too much into that.
lwb, there is a book my friend recommended called, "what could he be thinking?" I just bought it and today she was urging me to pull it out and get started on it (in light of what happened today maybe?). thought I'd recommend it.
very weird, btw, in light of the whole pizza day thing.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Mark....what do you mean that it's "obvious"? Maybe a dumb question on my part.
Have Faith...I agree that a lot of A's die a natural death. I just wish we didn't have to be the ones sitting here waiting and hurting. My H had a PA 6 years ago & it took 8 months. This EA/possible PA....about 5 months now. Can I stand 3+ more months?
lwb- So glad Pizza Day was good and that you didn't have to see OW. Part of me would have wanted her to see me AGAIN to remind her that through all the problems, my H is still MY H for now. Kind of a slap of reality. Am I making sense? I just see it that if the OW doesn't have to see us, they can keep the A as a fantasy kind of deal. If they see us, they have to think of us, how happy we look, how GOOD we look, how our H's are at home with us. Are you starting to get the impression that I'd like a shot at seeing my H's OW?? Just once, just once.
Hope you have a good evening. Are you working tonight?
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
My W is the one that set up the cell phone account and is therefore the primary account holder. She has access to everything. I have access to nothing. Keeping tabs on calls could be a motive in keeping the phones under one account.
I have always done the bills, we both have access to all information but I do the bills. I don't mind it at all. He can have access to any/all of my info if he wanted it, so he wouldn't be getting any 'new' info by ordering our phones. I just don't understand it.
Sue, see I see OW as seeing me and thinking "I had your H, and he still wants me, not you". But that is probably my self esteem issues, which I have had serious issues with since the bomb.
Thanks for weighing in everyone. I am still confused, but rolling with it on the outside.
Sue, see I see OW as seeing me and thinking "I had your H, and he still wants me, not you". But that is probably my self esteem issues, which I have had serious issues with since the bomb.
lwb-
Okay, I do completely understand your feelings....truly I do. However, you need to turn those feelings around. Seems to me that if OW was proud of what she's done or happy then she wouldn't be sliding out side doors at school. She'd be the one confident enough to walk around with her head held high. I know what you're feeling. I feel it at times too, but you are an amazing woman, mom, lady...etc. You feel good physically, you've been buying new (smaller) clothes. As bad as it is that we forcibly go on the infidelity diet, I think that's what gives me a little more confidence & self esteem. The weight loss and looking good. I still have more to go (went for a LONG walk tonight), but I know I look better than I did when this whole damn thing started.....and I know my H notices it too!
Sorry to ramble, but KEEP YOUR CHIN UP. You've helped me through a lot and I'm going (as are many others) to stay here and help you through this. We love our LWB!
SueS
Last edited by SueS; 10/24/0701:14 AM.
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
lwb - It appears that you think too little of yourself and too much of your husband. Hey, you are the "catch." You are the prize. You are the gem that your husband is walking away from.
Show her only that side of you. Have calm, cool confidence, knowing that you are going to SHINE no matter what happens.
NEVER feel like you are losing. Never. You are winning. Because you can hold your head high and be proud that you did your best.
Sue, you are so kind. What nice things you have said about me. I really appreciate it, you will never know. Yay for your long walk!!!
Mark, thank you. I will never ever let OW see my head down, sad, or otherwise. She will (and always has) seen the positive me, the one that doesn't want this mess in my face because its beneath me. Now, what I am feeling on the inside? That I need to work on.
lwb, ow is a skanky whore who isn't fit to tie your shoes. and trust me, not only has H noticed how hot you look, she has too. big loser that she is.
I love your strenth, I love that you have never let her see you as anything but the strong, confident woman that you are. wish I could say the same in my own situation.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Good for you for holding your head high around her!! She is the one that has shame to feel.
LWB,
You do need to work on what you feel on the inside. Right now it hurts but your confidence will come in time, I promise. Everyone has to heal in their own time and in their own way. But from what I read on here you are a hard working woman, a fantastic mother, responsible, and I envy your strength. He will be the one losing IF he walks away. There isn't a lot of women who have the kind of morals that you have. She is only a fantasy and an escape from the crappy way he feels about himself. I think sometimes for men it is the hardest for them to come to the woman they love and respect more then anything in the world. Because they fear they will be seen as weak. Then they do the horrid things like try and push us away and put blame on us.
