Hey Heimlich, Man I hope the trick or treating went well. I split time with the W, one of us sat at the house and handed out candy while the other walked with the kids, then we swapped. It worked out pretty well.
Thought I'd stop by and check in to see how you've been.
Steel
M 39, W 35 D7, S5 Friends 18+ Together 11+ Married 8 ILYBINILWY 4/7/07 - A BOMB 4/29/07 Seperated 5/16/07 - D Filed She Moved out 7/1 D Busted 6/15/08
Other than taking almost an hour and a half to get from the office to the house, the night was fun.
W had cooked and offered me dinner. She actually asked me how my webinar went yesterday. Talked for a bit. Asked her about her day. She had a new pair of jeans, complemented her that her buttocks looked nice in them (not my exact words )
Took the initiative of bringing the candy bowl to our next door neighbor. Headed out. Not quite sure how much candy they have (my youngest is sorting hers as I type this), but it's a lot. Were out for over an hour I guess. Chitchatted and joked a bit. She actually stopped and showed me some knee high socks (a recent thing of hers -- could have become a thing of mine, poop) that were Halloween themed -- first time she's done that in a while. I mean, going out of her way to show me something she bought for herself. All in all, friendly fun evening.
Got back to the house around 8. Got out the door with the girls in about 5 minutes.
"Shared" some of their candy last night. Lauren kept offering me candy (when she's not letting her temper get the better of her, she's been very, very sweet lately). Told her, "Sweetie, trust me, if I want a piece of candy, I'll get it." She laughed.
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
It'll be sad, but I've been ready to do this at any time in the last 2 years. She is 96 after all. Plus, at least I have the opportunity to say goodbye to her rather than a casket.
I'll spend some time with my other set of grandparents as well. They're in the mid-80s and have started to have their health decline in the last 2 years.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
Sounds like good interaction with W, glad you had fun.
I'm sorry about your Mawmaw, but glad to hear you'll have the opportunity to see her. You mentioned something to W about Mawmaw's death, and I wasn't sure if she'd passed. Take care of yourself this weekend.
When the kids offer me candy, I *always* say yes ... then I throw it away.
Heim, Sorry about your Mawmaw, but like you already stated it'll be good to say goodbye to her. Make the best of it. I'd offer to meet you for a beer when you pass through but unfortunately I won't have a day off until next wednesday. (sometimes this construction schedule sucks)
Things for me have been pretty good. W moved back in and things have been going well. She read the 5LL without telling me and then came to me to tell me about how much it helped her understand some of the things that were misunderstood between us.
It's not perfect by any means but I see light. She is still making some mistakes, and I do to, but we are at a point at the moment where we can call each other on the mistake and we talk about it rather than getting mad or hurt.
Sorry to hear about your grandmother, I send my good thoughts and hugs your way.
Sounds to me like you have been making some positive steps in your interactions with your W. Plus in your posts you sound a lot happier - Keep up the good work.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
Heim - pudmuddle is right you do sound like you are in a better place. I think you may be in the land of detachment more than you think. Keep up the good work.
W had cooked and offered me dinner. She actually asked me how my webinar went yesterday. Talked for a bit. Asked her about her day. She had a new pair of jeans, complemented her that her buttocks looked nice in them (not my exact words )
That all sounds pretty positive, Heim! How did W respond to A) you asking about her day, and B) your compliment about her looking good in them jeans?
Your W always does surprise me with her RAKs (random acts of kindness) -- just make sure to not get overly excited when they occur, and just respond kindly and friendly in moderation.
Quote:
Chitchatted and joked a bit. She actually stopped and showed me some knee high socks (a recent thing of hers -- could have become a thing of mine, poop) that were Halloween themed -- first time she's done that in a while. I mean, going out of her way to show me something she bought for herself.
Again, good stuff. Like I said before though, don't try to read into things too much -- just monitor, take stock, etc, and go about you merry way. Show her happiness, confidence, serenity, etc, no matter what is thrown your way (just like I did when W left me alone in the living room with her BF yesterday). Letting go is a powerful thing and gives most of us the best chance at meeting any and/or all of our goals.
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