I don't know if I should continue to DB.

[w8ing]

Clear that entire IL family thinks H is dumb to be doing this and they do not like OW. But again, they will support him (and her) when it comes down to it.

I'm glad you recognized this. I wonder about all of my ILs. None have spoken to me about the D and I don't think that any of them know about the OW. But no matter what, I know that it won't be me sitting around their Thanksgiving table - blood is thicker than water.

Sit tight. Remember that you have no control over what H does and what he doesn't do. Continue living your life, taking care of your D and yourself.

What did your H say when you said you missed him?

[celestial]

He was a little mean to me tonight,

He`s mad at himself, not you. He`s using you as his excuse like he always had and will until he realizes differently. He`s not there yet.

specifically, that I missed him

He needed to hear that.

This feeling of rejection will pass for you.

xo
Celestial

[forward]

"What did your H say when you said you missed him?"

Nothing. His eyes still look crazed.

Celestial, I know he is mad at himself but I am tired of his meanness.

H had said he wanted to talk tonight and I was busy cleaning and dealing w/D2 and he never brought anything up. I think he wanted to and just couldn't. So I am not going to.

I ordered a very lovely sweater and now I am going out tomorrow (nothing special--probably just to bookstore or a little more shopping, grin) so he can't spring anything on me then.

Crush situation: I still feel it flare up but I notice it most when I am feeling rejected and lonely.

[celestial]

I am tired of his meanness.

This is when it all changed for me. This is when I really began my GAL. I was tired of feeling bad and worrying about my sitch, I decided it was time to move on. It didn`t take long for my H to notice.

Crush situation: I still feel it flare up but I notice it most when I am feeling rejected and lonely.

I know how good this can make you feel.

H seems afraid to bring up the D. You`re right, let him bring it up, my H also threatened me with a D, but he never followed through with anything.

Celestial

[forward]

Celestial, I am doing OK with GAL but I do drift into little depressions. Visiting ILs was difficult.

But in another way, it was a realization that the last few visits, H ignored me. I am tired of feeling like a burden and bother. I don't know if H is capable of treating me the way I would like.

[w8ing]

Breton - I think that it is normal to drift into little depressions. You are going through a lot now and if you weren't depressed at times, I would think that you had superhuman strength.

I spoke to my mother-in-law last night and got off of the phone and cried. It is very difficult - these people have been in your life and things have changed. It is very difficult having the interactions....

Your last sentence.....you said it perfectly, at least for me. And it has made me wonder if I should continue standing. And, for me, it is not just the new H, but I don't know if the old H was ever capable of treating me the way I should have been treated....

Hang in there, honey!

Hugs!

[forward]

I am worn out today but I bought a nice burgundy shirt and matching lipstick.

I'm bored with shopping and reading at the bookstore when I have a night to myself. I need to do something new but I am not sure what. I do not have many friends but I am attempting to make more through my mom's groups.

[w8ing]

Breton - I understand. First the shopping where I live is pathetic. Second, how much can one do? I mean if we had a great shoe store, that's another thing!

I need to find something to do to, but everything that think of involves another person (tennis, ballroom dancing). My problem is that my friends are married. At nights and on the weekends, they want to spend time with their families. I don't want to interfere with that.

I'm sorry that you are worn out today. Did anything specific happen?

Hugs!

[inmyplace]

Hi breton.

I know what you mean. Eventually, you get back to your own equilibrium and move towards the things you want. One of my things is to take classes.

If you want the company of others in a similar situation as you, you might try DivorceCare.

Hang in there. It gets better and then all of a sudden, you find you really like your life.

IMP

[forward]

W8, No just PMSing!

I feel a bit better today. Still nothing from H re. D. And I started to think more about things.

DB C asked me where I see things in 5 years. I have to admit that at this time, I see us as divorced. I do not see H taking the initiative in our relationship that I need at this time and I seriously question if he would take it in the future. I have worked hard and made positive changes and I am not sure if I see H responding.

Also, I am getting used to being on my own. I do not miss Raging Whining Angry H and his constant complaining.....

Then I told DB C that I might consider filing on my own if I don't see changes in the next 6-8 months. I would not do it as a DB technique, either. I would do it prepared to follow through.

Crush feelings were fairly intense today but Crushee (as I shall call him) was pretty quiet. Oh well, my intensity of interest there waxes and wanes. Sometimes I feel like it's just nice to have someone who seems to think I am attractive. I am not sure if he does but he seems to. So that is flattering.