When I left the story in newcommers C_K ( thats me) had decided to ditch fear and had decided that he could be happy going ahead in life without Mrs C_K.
C_K decided to quit doing what was not working and concentrate on improving his confidence , regaining a sense of humour , spending time with friends and Kids and doing his best to get on and enjoy life.
So a bit of an update.
Sunday was Bathurst , a big event in our household , its a touring car race held in Australia each year at Mount Ponorama near Bathurst and its about 6 hrs or so of entertaining Ford vs Holden racing. W came by and watched the last couple of hours and I had a lot of fun teasing her because she drives a holden and I drive a Ford and Ford was winning. At one stage she said its not over until the fat lady sings. When Ford won I turned to her and said , well you had better get up and sing! (luckily shes thin) The look she gave me was priceless. A little later she left giving me a kiss and saying I will see you tommorrow.
Next day I was not sure if I had offended her or not ( as I had been drinking a few beers ). I thought a little test and I sent her a message asking if she had been out for a nice meal lately. ( when we were together she had made excuses not to go ) . I actualy expected a non commital answer and was surprised when she messaged back some general chit chat and a request in the form of Dinner eh? . So we went out , I kept it informal , reasonably cheap and while she was aprehensive at first she soon relaxed when she figured I was not going to ambush her with any tough questions. So we chatted away and then dropped her home. I invited myself in and made us coffee and then told her I was real tired and wished her goodnight and left.
Not a very imaginative date but her acceptance caught me by surprise. Now I will leave things a few days I probably wont see her again until saturday.
Has this changed anything? Not at all .my path remains the same and while this is nice I don't see it changing our sitch one bit nor do I want it too.
It will be nice if we can go out from time to time , cant do any harm I think.
Wow, so you may actually start dating this "new woman"? Sounds a little promising. I think I have heard of some people actually having to go through a divorce in order to remarry and start over with a clean slate. It is good that you have already decided to stay on your own path. It is kind of like thinking you have decided to be happy and that happiness is not dependent on anyone else's choices.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
Yes its interesting right now , I have accepted our M is over . Sometimes this upsets me still but I can get through it fairly well now. "Dating" my W is interesting. Its probably even a little early yet so I am keeping it low key. She is obviously a little interested otherwise I am sure she would have declined. We are both just "looking" at each other at this stage. I dont want to try to guess what her motives are but mine is about seeing if I could let her back into my life. At this stage I am not so sure.
Casey
No I am over the ditch in NZ , however the Kiwi involvement in that race keeps us interested.
You are THE MAN, Dave! So much carefree confidence that you don must be absolutely appealing to W (though she isn't quite sure how she should feel about that, I'm sure! She's gotta be confused, and that's not all bad).
Keeping the expectations on the backburner is great, and keeping you able to be this awesome new person in W's eyes. I'm in awe -- you make me want to ask my W about having a good meal lately too (though I know that it wouldn't work out quite as well for me!)!
I like your moves Dave! This is a great thing, especially since the ball may actually land in your court again. Of course no time soon. You are sounding quite grounded and good.
You are just moving right along in gaining calm, cool confidence in your R with your W & otherwise.
You really seem to have gotten a feel for creating interactions that flow, along with increasing your confidence on many levels.
Every time I think about the importance of lowering my expectation level, I think of you immediately after....LOL, I guess it's hard wired into me now & that's a good thing.
Thanks , there is only one way and that is forward.
Cliffy
I actualy dont want the ball too soon if you get what I mean. There is no way I am going back to a M like I had before.
Sunny
Quote:
Every time I think about the importance of lowering my expectation level, I think of you immediately after....LOL, I guess it's hard wired into me now & that's a good thing.
I drummed this into myself , I found that when I got depressed it was because I had expectations that were not met .
