OH Mwel Remember you can not listen to most of what they say and she is mad at you right now. I bet you anything she knows you are going to look and see her myspace page and that is why she put those things there. Try not to let them bother you. I know it is hard but hang in there.
So lets try to figure out a plan for you on the 10th? What exactly have you two talked about in regards to this new info you have found out? Did she admit it was true? Are you sure that it is if she has not?
Yes I know she did that because she knew I would look. She even changed her song...lying is the most fun a girl can have with out taking her cloths off... anyways, it hurts but I just will not have to look at that anymore. When I confronted the guy I told him that I knew and have always known, so Im sure he told her that. We havent talked about it cause I want to do it in person..So I want to let her everything and even thought it happened I still want to give us another try..I have asked her many times if she was faithful and everytime she said yes. So far I have no plan...Im writing everything down as we speak.
So the guy confirmed that they had an affair? Is this guy trustworthy? Would he have reason to lie to you about what happened with him and your W. Write down everything and then start figuring out what you want to say. I think you should work on this and then let it all be for the weekend. Go out and have fun and try to forget about all of this. Then look at it with fresh eyes on Monday and I bet you take out over half of what you have and reword the rest.
So the guy confirmed that they had an affair? Is this guy trustworthy? Would he have reason to lie to you about what happened with him and your W. Write down everything and then start figuring out what you want to say. I think you should work on this and then let it all be for the weekend. Go out and have fun and try to forget about all of this. Then look at it with fresh eyes on Monday and I bet you take out over half of what you have and reword the rest.
When I finish it I will post it so you and everyone can read it.
for some dumb a$$ reason I looked at her myspace, cause she is my top friend and her new name is new life = new adventures...her quote...moved on..
You already knew that, right? You found out about the A's that she has had. I'd take the next ten days to work on GALing and try to do whatever you can get to get on with your life. Yes, it's tough to deal with the realization that she has had A's before and during your marriage - Only time will heal those wounds, unfortunately.
I'd avoid contacting her unless it's really important and let her get over the anger that you have seen from her recently. Just remember - Now is not the time to try to figure out the whys and hows of the A's... She won't want to hear it.
for some dumb a$$ reason I looked at her myspace, cause she is my top friend and her new name is new life = new adventures...her quote...moved on..
You already knew that, right? You found out about the A's that she has had. I'd take the next ten days to work on GALing and try to do whatever you can get to get on with your life. Yes, it's tough to deal with the realization that she has had A's before and during your marriage - Only time will heal those wounds, unfortunately.
I'd avoid contacting her unless it's really important and let her get over the anger that you have seen from her recently. Just remember - Now is not the time to try to figure out the whys and hows of the A's... She won't want to hear it.
I know she has had A's but why in the hell do I still want to work things out and be with her? I am not going to contact her until we have our talk next weekend.
HI Mwel I am struggling with that same issue right now. I believe that my H has an OW not that it is confirmed just rumors etc and they were friends but who knows. I know I do not but I still want things to work out with us as well. I never thought I would but I seem to. I keep giving him the benefit of the doubt. I am finding it strange that I feel this way as well.
Good idea not to contact her before next weekend. You will need that time to figure out things. I can not wait to see what you have to say.
HI Mwel I am struggling with that same issue right now. I believe that my H has an OW not that it is confirmed just rumors etc and they were friends but who knows. I know I do not but I still want things to work out with us as well. I never thought I would but I seem to. I keep giving him the benefit of the doubt. I am finding it strange that I feel this way as well.
Good idea not to contact her before next weekend. You will need that time to figure out things. I can not wait to see what you have to say.
Well I have about a page so far...but its like im stuck and can not get out of the rut..no sure what to write next...So Im taking a break from it today and I will try again tomorrow.
You are a glutton for punishment, you know that? I don't mean to burst your bubble, but you have these big plans for this "talk" and all you want to say to her. And know what? By her actions, she really couldn't care less. At the moment it doesn't matter if you think she had affairs....because she's done.
Let me ask you something. If an old girlfriend that you don't care about anymore (can you envision an old gf?) walked up to you and wanted to know things about your old relationship, like did you cheat on her, would you give her the time of day? No, because it's over. You think about your wife's response in the same light. You aren't on the same page. She is burning bridges while you are trying to build them.
So forget about this talk you want. Forget about your big plans to get some truths out of her and have a heart-to-heart that will change her mind. Tear up your letter and write one that includes your plans for YOU (and just you).
Me
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
You are a glutton for punishment, you know that? I don't mean to burst your bubble, but you have these big plans for this "talk" and all you want to say to her. And know what? By her actions, she really couldn't care less. At the moment it doesn't matter if you think she had affairs....because she's done.
Let me ask you something. If an old girlfriend that you don't care about anymore (can you envision an old gf?) walked up to you and wanted to know things about your old relationship, like did you cheat on her, would you give her the time of day? No, because it's over. You think about your wife's response in the same light. You aren't on the same page. She is burning bridges while you are trying to build them.
So forget about this talk you want. Forget about your big plans to get some truths out of her and have a heart-to-heart that will change her mind. Tear up your letter and write one that includes your plans for YOU (and just you).
Me
Me Thanks for your post. Its like every time you post, I get a feeling that I can be okay but I just dont know what to do, how to act or what to say. Maybe I am a glutton for punishment. I just dont know what to do. I want to have a heart to heart talk with her, I want to let her know that I forgave her once and I can forgive her again but I want things to be different in every aspect. Like a fresh start, old marriage died and a new one was born. I dont know what to say that will change her mind. My letter was going to have plans for me in it. to answer your question if an Old GF walked up and wanted to know what happened and if she asked questions I would answer them but I would blow her off and make her feel uninportant.
