Hi Amy I am not sure if you remember me, I haven't posted anything for months - nearly the whole year, & I pop in every now and then to read your stitch and a few others. You sure have been on some ups and downs lately. One thing for certain is you are one strong lady, and you have been dealt with some wacking huge balls which you continue to hit and bounce back for more. No one can know for certain what the out come of life will be, but we all just have to try and give our all so that when we are done we can say well I did do everything in my power to make it right. There are so many positive things that have happened to you with your hubby. He knows your feelings & he is dealing with them. God will honour you both & I am sure you will end up together again. My H has not left, he has had an affair, and still does not love me, but he is trying. I sometimes wish that he could move out & we start dating again, but that is not to be. I think your seperation will do you both the world of good and as soon as Jeff deals with his pain and fear things will start to improve more than they are. You seem so down, but if you just stand still and look back - look at the improvements on your relation with Jeff - I know things are very rocky with your daughter, but when things come right with you & Jeff everything else will fall into place. Keep your chin up, God is good!! And God has a plan for you
Busy. I was at the house last night as it was my daughter's birthday. H wants me to keep her Saturday night so he can go to a high school reunion with a buddy of his. I said "absolutely".
So, do you have any plans for the two of you when she stays over? I know turning 12 and the whole middle school thing has awakened my daughters inner DIVA! I get those ever so rare evenings when she isn't having some sort of hormonal meltdown.... and we are able to enjoy each others company. We'll rent a movie and pig out on junk food... pull out the make-up and manicure stuff and have a blast. I love those times and wish they'd come along more often.... but <big sigh> ahhh puberty. It's one of those things that is awful and beautiful at the same time.
Hope you and she have a great night together!
~lost
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
The reunion is out so I'm not keeping D12 Saturday night. The hours are from like 2-7 and H will be working so he can't go. D12 got some gift cards for her birthday so I'm going to take her shopping Saturday afternoon, though. S15 will be at my mom's so it'll be just us girls.
I know what you mean about middle school turning our girls into diva's. Mine is A TRIP. I have to carry a lasso! I heard a song on the radio yesterday that made me crack up laughing in the car. It is PERFECT for her Dad and he HAS to hear it...
Rodney Atkins Still Cleaning This Gun (Come on in boy)
The Declaration of Independence Think I could tell you that first sentence But then I'm lost
I can't begin to count the theories I've had pounded in my head That I forgot
I don't remember all that Spanish Or the Gettysburg address But there is one speech from high school I'll never forget
(Chorus) Come on in boy sit on down And tell me about yourself So you like my daughter do you now? Yeah we think she's something else She's her daddy's girl Her momma's world She deserves respect That's what she'll get Ain't it son?
Hey y'all run along and have some fun I'll see you when you get back Bet I'll be up all night.... Still cleanin' this gun
Well now that I'm a father I'm scared to death one day my daughter Is gonna find That teenage boy I used to be That seems to have just one thing on his mind
She's growin' up so fast It won't be long before I'll have to put the fear of god into Some kid at the door
(Chorus) Come on in boy sit on down And tell me about yourself So you like my daughter do you now? Yeah we think she's something else She's her daddy's girl Her momma's world She deserves respect That's what she'll get Now ain't it son? Y'all go out and have some fun I'll see you when you get back Probably be up all night... Still cleanin' this gun
Now it's all for show Ain't nobody gonna get hurt It's just a daddy thing And hey, believe me, it works
(Chorus) Come on in boy sit on down And tell me about yourself So you like my daughter do you now? Yeah we think she's something else She's her daddy's girl Her momma's world She deserves respect That's what she'll get Now ain't it son? Y'all run along and have a little fun I'll see you when you get back Probably be up all night... Still cleanin' this gun
Son, now y'all buckle up and have her back by ten - let's say about nine...thirty. Drive safe.
I got a late start because I had to take S15 to the doctor this morning. I'm playing catch up at work as always. It's a never ending load when you're the only assistant to TWO attorneys!
On another note, I spoke to H last night when I called to tell D12 goodnight. He wants to talk about a "few things". Her, I think. He has implemented a few new things in order to make the nights he doesn't get home til 7:30 go more smoothly. Seems he is doing well. He has admitted it is difficult. I think he's getting a handle on it. What can say? Ohh friggin rah. Impress me! Quit drinking.
Yep. It seems I am feeling a little ornery today.
Anyway...I'm supposed to call him tonight to see what he wants to talk about.
I'm already practicing biting my tongue because he's off today so he will have had a few when we talk.
Lord, help me listen more than I speak. And to really HEAR whatever it is that he says.
if anything pulls me back in, it will be this song that has been HAUNTING me for the last 2 weeks. It absolutely breaks me.
Casting Crowns East to West
Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness The chains of yesterday surround me I yearn for peace and rest I don't want to end up where You found me And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way
Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west 'cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again In the arms of Your mercy I find rest 'cause You know just how far the east is from the west From one scarred hand to the other
I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way
I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me You're holding on to me
Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again In the arms of Your mercy I find rest 'cause You know just how far the east is from the west From one scarred hand to the other (Just how far the east is from the west, just how far) One scarred hand to the other (Lord, Just how far the east is from the west, just how far) From one scarred hand to the other
Snap. I can't even put the lyrics on here without tearing up...
I get those ever so rare evenings when she isn't having some sort of hormonal meltdown.... and we are able to enjoy each others company. We'll rent a movie and pig out on junk food... pull out the make-up and manicure stuff and have a blast. I love those times and wish they'd come along more often.... but <big sigh> ahhh puberty. It's one of those things that is awful and beautiful at the same time.
