Amy has selflessly given to many many people on this board for a long, long time. Never asking for anything in return. Sometimes she ruffled feathers, more often she helped.
She needs help now. If Amy helped you, and you want to return the favor, E-mail me for a way you can help right now in a way that will benefit her.
platinumweasel@yahoo.com
Wow, I've gotten a lot of E-Mail response. I think we're making a difference here.
as one E-mailer said to me after I told him my idea:
"Given all she does for others, it's f***ing time others gave back to her."
I think that they give you time to pay on that. I know that it has to be a huge punch in the gut to come to the realization that happened, but it did. We can't go back and change what has happened, we can carry through though, and do what we can to make things better and to survive situations. Giving up seems easy, but you aren't a quitter, plus you got friends that won't let you give up. You will be OK, it's another bump in the sometimes $#!tty road we call life. We all love you bigsis, you have a ton of email addys and phone numbers of people that you can get a hold of at anytime.....use them.
I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.
AmyC.....sweetheart, I really do understand much better than you know. My D was married three times before she was 30 years old. All three H's were told what to expect with her condition, but none of them could handle it. The first one was her true love (high school sweethearts) but they were straight out of high school when they married and much, much too young to untake what they had to face. Then the second one....I don't even talk about him....(a drug dealer and user).....the third one we were hoped up about. He was really in love and he wanted whatever time God would give him to love her....yada, yada, yada. Well, they made it ten years and he tried to be more sick than she was all the time and wouldn't work.....lost the medical insurance, everything. She could not get a dime's worth of help or assistance b/c she was married to that worthless man. Finally, she D him and we had to hire a lawyer to fight for her to get .....partcial disability. But yet we would see people that was up walking around doing all types of activities that were drawing large disability checks. She can't even get but a tiny bit of food stamps. I could go on for hours about it, but that doesn't really help your feelings.....other than to let you know that I do understand what it is like to have to do without. We have struggled for so many years trying to get by and then both out children are disabled, so we try to help them as best we can. I don't know who will take care of us when we get too old to help ourselves......guess it will be the nursing home for us....!
As I have told several, that is the main reason that I did not leave my H when he found out about the OM.....I could not support myself and I knew there was no way on earth he would give me any help! It takes both of us together here to get by. Speaking of OM......it's strange, but I thought about him today....something was said unbeknowingly by my H that made me think of something the OM said to me once. It will be my 3 month anniversary about Tuesday. I owe a lot of gratitude to you sweetie for setting me straight when I came here seeking help. And....after reading some things you said to some other folks....I know now that you were down right gentle with me....LOL. Seriously, I will never be able to thank you enough.
I meant what I said last time.....I do think you need to try to do something....if there is anything to do these days that doesn't require money.....to GAL. I think this board became your ministry and you have served in it well, but you do need to have something else too, sweetie. We all care about you.....I found that out when your FIL was ill. And now....when some of us are hearing that things are not getting better, but instead it's getting even worse....it causes our hearts and prayers to pull together for our AmyC.
Please don't give up on "life" Amy. I know you won't, but you are so down now and it bothers me to see you this way. Sometimes our posts--trying to encourgae you--must sound like those "pat" answers I use to hate to hear when people would tell me not to worry about my daughter's health, that "maybe she wuold grow out of it". It would make me so angry b/c I knew that they did not know anything about it or they would understand that she would not grow out of it.....she would be blessed if she even grew up! Well, she was bless. It's been a very hard road.....lots and lots of pain.....both physical and mental....and some spiritual as well, but we still have her.
We have some friends (a married couple) that are about our age and had a couple of girls. I always envied them b/c it seem like God just turned everything they touched to gold. I would cry and pray and ask God why He blessed them so much more than He did my family. Then one day their 17 year old daughter was killed. I cannot begin to tell you how that made me feel. To think I had been jealous of them for so many years. They have aged so much since she died. She had been their youngest and so beautiful and talented. Their other daughter will nevr marry.......(may be gay, but I don't know that for sure.....I won't ask them)so they will never be grandparents. My heart hurts for them. I hope I won't be jealous of anyone ever again.
This old world is so unfair, isn't it? But, I know one thing, sweetie.....this old world may be unfair....but God is never unfair.....It is impossible for Him to be anything but fair. It is just that we can't see it al clearly yet.....just like Paul said. Someday....someday, we will understand it better by and by, just like that old song says. I believe that or I would have given up years ago. You got the "Right Stuff" girl.....I know you do! I have read too many of your post not to know that you do!
It is okay to be tired honey. You know what the Lord told us to do when our burdens are to heavy to carry any longer......I don't have to tell you. You are going to be alright.....don't you listen to the enemy.....you know he will lie to you. Tell the devil to go to hell, b/c you know the One Who will take care of you!
I love you sweetie. I don't know you other than through this board and by the way you have helped me and so many other....but I know Who you stand for and what you have proclaimed about Him....so, that gives me a right to say....I love ya.
You take care, honey.....don't give up.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Amy darlin', it has been a long time since I've shown my face on this board. You were always there for me. You don't even know how much you changed my life. I'd wandered away from the church a long time ago and you were the one who taught me to have faith again. Even though my H and I didn't work it out, I worked my life out. I'm a happy, peaceful and most importantly, a FAITHFUL person now, largly in part because of you. We're here for ya babe, most of us have been there, I know I certainly have. When my ex first moved out, I had all 3 kids and about $600 a month to live on. I was going to a food bank. But God pulled me out of that pit. We serve a God of reciprocity, Amy, and you have given and given and given. HE WILL PROVIDE! You won't go without.
You know how to find me by email and on instant messenger. I love you!
Becca
Email & MSN Messenger: Becca_1975@msn.com
Yesterday Is History
Tomorrow is a Mystery.
Today is a Gift.
That Is Why It Is Called "The Present"
I am sorry that you have had to make the decision to call an end to your stand. By that I don't mean that I think you are doing the wrong thing or even the right thing for that matter. I think the answer to whether it is the right or wrong thing can only be found through a great deal of prayer. I know the decision certainly cannot be judged right or wrong by anyone here.
I think at the beginning of my stand I believed that if I only had enough faith, my marriage would be restored. As I look at that it sounds like I am saying that faith just doesn't cut it. In fact the point I am trying to make is quite the opposite. I think if there is one thing we all need desperately at the beginning of our situations it is an overdose of faith. We find ourselves so overwhelmed with grief that we reach out for that one thing that will comfort us. If we are lucky, when we reach out, someone like you takes our hand and leads us to the only One who can ever give us any real peace. Once led to The Source, we cry out, we thrash, we weep, we curse and we pray like we have never prayed before. Along the way, we find faith, and we find it in an abundance like we have never before experienced. Yet somehow, even with all this newfound faith, many of our marriages are still not restored. What are we doing wrong?
The answer is .... we're not doing anything wrong. Faith is the place we needed to be when our problems all began. Well, better late than never. The funny thing is that once you have found all this faith, you begin to realize that "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength" Phi. 4:13. You begin to realize that there can be life and it can be well lived even if your marriage does not find restoration.
The turning point for me came when I realized something else about faith. While there is nothing more important than faith, you have to make sure you have faith in the right things. If all that was required to restore a marriage was faith in God by one party to the marriage, I think we would see an astronomically higher success rate on these boards. The truth of the matter lies in a sometimes ugly little thing called free will. While I may have had an abundance of faith in God, I eventually realized that to continue my stand, I had to have an equal amount of faith in my ex-wife. I had to have faith that she would change her heart. The sad part of this whole predicament we find ourselves in is that marriage always takes 2. While God may put influences in our spouse's path, He does not forcefully change their heart. When I finally realized that I didn't have that much faith in my ex-wife, I called off my stand.
Amy, please don't second guess or think less of yourself for this decision if it was prayerfully considered and faithfully made. I personally stand in awe of the stand you have made.
I believe that in every person's faith walk, God places many people in our paths to guide us and teach us the things we need at exactly the times when we are most receptive to those messages. Among the many people He puts in everyone's path will be a few carefully selected and properly prepared "Giants in the Faith" who will have a profound impact on our lives forever. I will always count you as one of my Giants.
As much as I enjoy reading your story on these boards, I am glad to see you much less active on them. You need to focus on LIVING. Start in your church. It is a great place to start transforming your life. Please don't go away completely. I know everyone here will anxiously wait for updates on the remodeling.
I checked my email this morning (I had to cancel my home internet service a couple of weeks ago) knowing I would have a ton of junk mail accumulated from the weekend. What I did not expect was about half a dozen emails from paypal informing me of several deposits that had been made to my paypal account over the weekend. I am stunned. Ya'll have made me cry at work. Why in the world am I being blessed for just doing what I was led to do once I came out of MLC and found this board? Why am I being blessed when I have been such a brat lately???? Why hasn't HE, or ya'll for that matter, given up on me when I seem to give up on me every other day? I can't even put into words how I feel right now. My own blood relatives don't even check on me and S15, with the exception of my mother, whose help ALWAYS has such a hefty price tag that comes with it . I hope in this life each of you are blessed a hundredfold. Thank you.
While I was in the dark about what Frank_D was orchestrating, I was also being "called on the carpet" (again) for my attitude as of late. Belligerant, angry and bitter would have been great words to describe it. Saturday I went to the library and got a book to read. It's the last in that Left Behind series which I consumed as soon as each new book hit the shelf over the course of the last few years. About 11pm last night, I read a statement on the scripture "the effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much". The character in the book said "mine have availed nothing". That's when I stopped reading and thought about my own behavior and the fact I'd quit praying basically because I hadn't gotten what I wanted (ouch). I had just quit praying pretty much all together but even before that, I can't say I was "righteous". In fact, I can definitely tell you that I was NOT. Anyway, I'd quit praying except regarding my kids of course and praise the Lord for that because S15 fell 10 feet when he was climbing a wall at ROTC bootcamp this past weekend. He landed on concrete, on his back. So with one line from a book, a kid that was uninjured in a 10' ft fall to the cement and then what you have done to help me...I am just going to rest in His presence for a while and take time to remember and appreciate just where He's brought me from instead of griping about where I'm at because especially with friends like I apparently have here, this place just can't be "bad".
. I hope in this life each of you are blessed a hundredfold. Thank you.