CVA - thin PJ's & Massages

[Not Much Left]

Loose flannel is actually very nice!
Here's the newest decision. I am going to give notice wnd of Oct on the apt, which gives me to end of year, in the neantime, I am on the watch for the best place possible.

If Xmas rolls around and we are not working on things, pretty sure emotions will be high and something is bound to happen.

Thay sounds self fulfilling but so be it at this pt.


C

[Not Much Left]

Wow, that is a lot of typos! BB typing gets me in a lot of trouble.

[SunnySeason]

Don't worry CVA, most of us can tell you're on BB by the length of the post.

We know you're a man running a fortune 500 company, traveling the globe, taking care of 4 children & giving your W her nightly massage, all the while practicing & perfecting DB skills.

Honestly...you sound great!

Sunny

[Not Much Left]

Hey Sunny!
Good to hear from you CA Babe!

Thanks for making me sound like Superman (maybe I should get that tatoo like Jon Bon Jovi!) But HARDLY!!!

More like Fortune 10,000 and messing up every DB technique there is! But hey, half the battle, at least, is just "showin up!" And I definitely do that!

Funny, I was just listening to my VM and thinking about you. Let me know when u can talk.

Hugs
C

[Not Much Left]

So much for that Ambien I took, we talked right through it!

See ya
C

[alk24]

I agree with Sunny, you are doing the best you can. Hope you are doing well.

[waw1978]

Here's the newest decision. I am going to give notice wnd of Oct on the apt, which gives me to end of year, in the neantime, I am on the watch for the best place possible.

Sounds like a good sound plan. I hope this gets the ball rolling for some movement in your sitch.

[alk24]

You know I was just thinking, your wife must be nuts to want to raise 4 kids on her own. Most single mothers have to work and I struggle with my 2 and holding down a full time job. I'm not saying you won't be involved in their lives but honestly..if y'all get divorced does she really expect you to come "home" every night and help her? I just do NOT understand why any woman would chose to be a single mother (I'm not talking about women who are mentally or physically abused).

[Not Much Left]

Yeah, not sure she is nuts, just...void of emotion? Still angry w/ me about the last xyears? I dont know.

I was thinking this morning, after about 4 hrs sleep talking to a friend of mine!, about the old saying (you probably have all heard this but) that women are like cats and men are like dogs.

Men are like, "hey, over here, over here, throw me the ball, play with me, jump up and down,stroke me (ego and physically), pant, pant, pant!!!

Women are like "purrrrrrrr, um, I will come over there and grace you with my presence, rub up against you and you will feel good, I may feel good too, but you are lucky if I do any of that! So you start rubbing them and they are like, oh yeah, that does feel good, keep doing that....thats all ya get, I'm outta here, going to go play and lick my fur....I'll be back, but remember, your lucky to have me and "if" I come around again to grace you with my presence!!!

I know, I know, ladies are going to kill me over this but it is SOOO true isnt it?

Mandi
She is deluded if she thinks it will be even close to what it is now. If she thinks she is overwhelmed by the kids / house now, it aint gettin better as they say. I really dont think she wants that, she is just so fed up with selfish CVA and feeling like I ruined her life that she cant see forward with any clarity about how it could be better. It is something she has to come to grips with herself, I cant do anything about it now but be happy CVA. There is a point as I have said before where status quo does not work for me anymore. That is selfish too, I know. Paybacks are a bitch, eh?

[Puddle]

Hey CVA,

Wow, you're still able to work that BB thing on so little sleep? You must be Superman.

Yeah, not sure she is nuts, just...void of emotion? Still angry w/ me about the last xyears? I dont know.

My guess is she's very hurt and angry. The suggestion that any woman should stay with a man because she's got it easy with the kids despite the fact that she's unhappy is pretty simplistic, to me. And what H wants a W to stick around when she's unhappy with him---and doesn't realize she can change that---because she's "got it good"?

So CVA, imagine how unhappy she must be. I'm not really clear on where your W is. You post a lot, but not a lot about what's going on between you two, so it's hard to tell. (That's fine with me, by the way---you post what you like---but I don't have a very clear picture.) Maybe I'm wrong and she's not unhappy at all.

Men are like, "hey, over here, over here, throw me the ball, play with me, jump up and down,stroke me (ego and physically), pant, pant, pant!!!

I think this is exactly what Homer's talking about when he says the most attractive characteristic (especially in a man) is indifference, not feigned indifference but a true sense that "I don't need you."

I know, I know, ladies are going to kill me over this but it is SOOO true isnt it?

That's quite a generalization. Maybe some people are like that, and possibly more women than men?

She is deluded if she thinks it will be even close to what it is now. If she thinks she is overwhelmed by the kids / house now, it aint gettin better as they say.

I think it'll be good for her to get a sense of what a real separation will mean. She may gain a true appreciation for all you do for the family. I hope, though, that she's able to work things out for herself---get in a good place with the kids and even being a single mom---before she decides to come back. Again, wouldn't want her back because you're a convenient babysitter.

I think what often happens, though, is that the WAS realizes what they had, and missing that helps kick-start the other feelings they'd stuffed for so long, so that it's really more wanting to work things out than throwing their hands up and saying, "Heck, it's too hard, I oughta go back."

It is something she has to come to grips with herself, I cant do anything about it now but be happy CVA.

You're right. It sounds like it's been a long road for her to get to this point already, so it may be a while yet before she can see any other possibility.

There is a point as I have said before where status quo does not work for me anymore. That is selfish too, I know.

I think there's a difference between being selfish and taking care of yourself. Am I selfish because it's not cool for me that H bring women he dates to our house? I don't think so (and that has nothing to do with the kids). When it doesn't work for you anymore, it doesn't. You've moved out, you've got what sounds like a reasonable timeline, and it may be time to move forward, too.

Argh, rain on my computer! Gotta run. Take care.