I have learned so much this summer about life, people, and relationships. I feel so blessed to be going through this experience despite all the pain and heartache.
I thought I would start this thread to accumulate the wonderful lessons and accomplishments we have achieved this summer.
This is mine:
1. I now can cut my 3 acre lawn by myself with the tractor. I never had to do this before or attempted. I love it and I know this is so simple for some but it is an achievement for me.
2. I can maintain my water softener and take care of adding the salt to the bin.
3. I have learned who my true friends are and who are not.
4. I have a clearer sense of my values and what I believe in.
5. I am so much closer to God.
6. My kids are unbelievable and their faith and forgiveness towards my H amazes me.
7. I love my friends on this board
8. I dated a man and discovered that I was not at all ready for a relationship. I also realized that god wants me to stand for now.
9. I have learned to be alone and sometimes I like it.
10. I have learned that I can rely on myself.
11. I am a surviver *I may be little but I am tough*
12. I have learned that no matter what life throws at you, you must get up and move on with your life. I can be happy despite my circumstances.
13. I like martinis with olives that are stuffed with blue cheese.
Me: 45 H: 43 Married: 19 years Dated 05 years Bomb: 11/06 OW - "I love her, but still want you as my friend"
* I also learned to cut my own lawn and weedeat too! * I had a few guys ask me out and I said no, made me feel good. * I lost 55 lbs, now feel and look better * I learned that I dont NEED a man * I grew much closer to God * I made some new friends here on the BB * I know more now about how to be a wife than ever before * I learned that my H doesnt deserve me * I now know the power of prayer
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Hi Goal- I think your list is great. I think I could have written a lot of it myself...hmmm...I will have to try martinis with olives that are stuffed with blue cheese though!
The gifts we all get from this pain is amazing. I too have received so much good from this bad. And I think the best hasnt even come to us yet..we have just started have a great weekend and thanks for the positive thoughts Goal peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
A serious question - my kids are very unforgiving to their father, and I am sorry for this. I would love to know what you have said/done to foster this forgiveness?
Although I do not share my h's view that this is entirely due to me, I certainly don't want to be doing anything that contributes.
I never say anything negative about my H. When my kids say something negative, I always rephase it and try to say something positive.
As far as the OW goes though. I make it clear to my kids that is wrong and your father is sick. I let them know that he is not using his best judgement right now and needs us to show him the right way/path in life.
Don't get me wrong, I have made mistakes and sometimes my kids will see my dislike of his actions and behaviors, but for the most part I try to do this.
If I cannot find anything good to say, I say nothing.
Everyday I remind my kids that he loves them. Sometimes they doubt this because he is so self-centered and selfish. Especially when he spends more time with the OW's child then his own children. Or when he forgets to follow through on a promise.
Me: 45 H: 43 Married: 19 years Dated 05 years Bomb: 11/06 OW - "I love her, but still want you as my friend"
This is the kind of thread I like. "What I did" is most important for us. What I did at the end of this summer was to start playing golf again. Next year, I am getting lessons early on. Also, all along I have been taking classes (work related with a goal of moving ahead).
I also very much like this kind of thread. In addition to several of the items on your list, I: hired movers, packed my entire house and moved; hired contractors to replace all the windows and several doors in my 35 year old new/old home; traveled to New Zealand alone with S14; experienced my D with my dignity mostly intact.
Thanks for the positive thread and the reminder where the focus belongs.
