I should have guessed PMA. Just one thing you might be able to help me with. I've always been very close to my husbands family. I was fostered so i don't have a very close relationship with my foster mum. Therefore my h family have felt like my own. They obviously know about the situation because he's sort of left and come back a few times. They have tried to talk to him, but he doesn't want to talk. Also he's never come clean about other women(evidence has been very strong) His family talk to me all the time, they phone a lot. They've been a great support to me. H is aware of this(checked my phone a few times) he hates it wants me to stop talking to his family. Has even said he will talk less to ow(supposed to be good friend; 20 calls and 80 texts in one month. yeah right) if i stop talking to his family. He has said he feels like i have put everyone against him. His Dad has written loads of letters, i've had to ask his Dad to stop. It was driving H nuts. What do you think.
Well that is strange...Strange. I thought for a minute i was the only one. Normally when H is out i have that deep pit in my stomach, but tonight it's been fun!! Did you read what i wrote about his family always talking to me...It's difficult.
It's good to remain friends with the in-laws, I have done so with mine. You did the right thing in asking your FIL (Father in law) to stop with the letters. I know your FIL will think he's helping but he's not really is he? Ask them to be there for you but also ask that they do not try to fight your case for you. As you know, your H will feel that is own family are against him & that frustration will more than likely be aimed at you. As for your H asking you to not talk with them is your buisness & your choice whether you do so or not. My choice would be to continue to see them as your family because thats what they are.
>>he hates it wants me to stop talking to his family. Has even said he will talk less to ow(supposed to be good friend; 20 calls and 80 texts in one month. yeah right) if i stop talking to his family.<<
How manipulative!!! If it's so easy for him to give up talking to OW why doesn't he just give her up entirely? Of course you should stay friends with his family... aren't those their grandkids? If my divorce had gone through I'd still have maintained a friendship with my in-laws. If you like these people, and they like you, there's no reason you should ever stop being in contact with them regardless of where your marriage goes. How ridiculous!!! Don't give in to his childishness.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Hi, not too bad. H is still being quite cool towards me. Although we did go out last night(he got plastered; drank two bottles of wine). He's like a coiled spring at the moment. I've stepped right back into LRT. I found things really hard last week. I think it was fear, because i had given him fuel to leave. I hate living in constant fear.. I went to the Doc's i've started some MED's. I haven't told him, he will just think i'm playing the victim. Last year when i lost two stone in 3 weeks, he said i did it on purpose. I know he didn't mean it(as the good book says) but it hurts all the same.
I know time is our friend when we're doing all this. Doing the best for the children and each other.. but how long... That's why i went to the doctors. Last year i was so down, i spent most afternoons in bed. It's not fair on my kids, they need their Mum.
It's strange although H is not here emotionally for me. He's still talks about the future. It's so confusing. He's making a lot of effort with the kids. I must remember to look at the small signs and not expect too much. It's all very well, but my heart is screaming out, saying i want you back now!!!!!!!
I'm getting better at controlling my emotions. That's one thing i've learnt through this experience so far.
H tried to start an argument this week-end, but i said that unless he had anything postive to say about our relationship, It's best not to talk about it. I was quite shocked, he actually agreed for once.
Sometimes i just think it's some sort of bad dream and i'll just wake up and it will all be fine..
I'm still feeling quite positive, but it's how long i can sustain it thats what worries me
