What is "act as if"? Please

[theotherhalf]

Can someone explain what "act as if" is? I have seen this in numerous post and don't know what it is.

Thanks,
TOH

[Was2sad]

One of the DB ideas is Act As If.

It can mean Act As If the WAS is coming back and things will work out. Don't act as if your world is exploding and your very existence is all about Woe Is Me.

Making the WAS feel guilty does not turn them around. It turns them away. Acting as if everything is normal and will be ok, can be very hard. When confronted with a raving MLCer it can be impossible.

Another DB idea, is that it doesn't work very well when confronted with a full blown MLCer, but it never hurts to try.

Too often, the best way to deal with a MLCer is to LetGo. Let them go to that wonderful "time and space" they all think they must have. If they come back, you will know it. If they don't, you couldn't have avoided it. Just random comments, not Rules.

[theotherhalf]

Thanks Was2sad,

As I said I've seen this numerous times but did not know what it was. I guess I am doing this but did not realize it. When I have contact with H I am doing the Act As If. I don't nor would I try to make H feel guilty. As I know that he does and if I made that worse it would do no good. Guilt is something that is very hard for H to deal with. As far as H knows I am doing well. Have not cried since he left our home. I am very pleasant and friendly towards him when he is around. Partly for him, partly for myself.

Thanks again.

[LostLou]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdIOJ8fIIlQ

[a new 2moro]

i didnt really know act as if meant act if they are coming back.....i took it as acting if you going about your stuff. at least that is what i did...i was just doing, having my life slowly stepping towards moving on, but no fanfare. i dint let him see the hurt, i just carried on.

[Smurf_SMR]

"Act as if" and "fake until you make it" - all help with the universal law of attraction. Karma. Call it what you will.

What you send out comes back. By acting happy and unconcerned, can only make us attractive to our spouses and others. A doom and gloom attitude only drives people away.

[Grace_O]

True. What you think about is what you create.

[theotherhalf]

Thanks all for clearing this up. Guess some things just come natural. I guess I realized that the being down, crying, and begging was just driving him farther away. So I learned on my own to "act as if" I was okay. That I was just going on with life no matter what happens with him.

[inmyplace]

“If you want a quality, act as if you already had it.”

- William James - Psychologist and Philosopher