Wow, what a bunch of jerks! I have now read thru some of this and see that there are men out ther with no contact with their kids!!! They should be taken out to the woodshed.
C
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
When you read much more, you will not be so surprised. The worst reality of MLC is that those abducted by the aliens are no longer themselves, or human, or within reach of their own former values. They are living on the opposite side of Alice's Looking Glass, over in Mad Hatterville. They live in Stephen King's version of Father Knows Best.
If a trip to the woodshed would help them, I'd be selling woodsheds to the LBS of the world and would have more money than Bill Gates. Alas, it would be a waste of good lumber.
MLCers are WAS. WAS may be MLC, but there is not DNA test yet to prove it. So we are all left wondering, WTF?
Your H seems to be at that magic time in his life for his little brain to explode. You can't help getting some gooo on you, but it sounds like you are doing a good clean up. Keep it up. The best contact with aliens is no contact.
Send your post man a Christmas card, not your MIL.
I will have to face H in court, I'm really anxious already, I don't know what is going to be revealed and how things will progress.
When I last met H his body language was that of a confident man but that was 10 months ago, the time before that he was guarding himself and defensive, clearly uncomfortable to be in my company, I will be watching his body language, it is the only way I will be able to suss him out, In the beginning H's body language was text book stuff, it was like watching a DVD illustration.
What i do find strange about H & MIL is that H used to recognise how his mother sides with the least conflict, he has critisised her for this in the past, I really feel that he is using her weakness. I can foresee that when or if he wakes up from all of this he definatly wont respect MIL for her actions towards his sons, because this is exactly how she has acted in the past.
H has spewed, it will be very difficult for him when the truth does eventually emerge, it is happening now little by little.
I have only experienced the occasional episode of anger towards H, it is difficult to be angry with him. OK, he has always been a little selfish, he is materialistic but he was always a helpful and generous man. He was such a hands on dad, our boys didn't go to nursery if he was on a day off, and he would collect them at his 1st opportunity, whilst friends of ours would go off playing golf, shopping etc.
I would get home to find him ironing, he learnt to cook, he wasn't very good at cleaning and dusting (apart from the T.V screen ) but he did most other jobs, we worked well together.
Both of H's affair followed a severe let down career wise, non of this excuses his behaviour but it does tell us how far he is from the person we knew, it does help us get through this knowing that there is a good person within him.
We have rejected the H is now, the lads have rejected his new life style, but we haven't rejected the person he trully is, I would love for my sons to have a healthy relationship with their dad, I really do hope H finds his way back to them sooner rather than later, H has missed out on so much, we have so much to tell him, hopefully one day he will want to listen to our adventures, not sure if we will want to listen to his though, ( that's very selfish of us )
I like what you said about not rejecting the man your H truly is. You put into words how I have felt for some time. No one understands how I could have fought for my H these last two years, but I was fighting for who he was, and who he could be, not who he is. He even comments that the kids must not have ever loved him if they don't now. They love him now, they just don't love what he is doing now, and have rejected him for it. I guess he thinks because he rewrote history by saying he never loved me since he doesn't now, he thinks the kids rewrote it too.
I wish my XH would want to hear about our adventures too. In the beginning, he wanted to hear everything he was missing out on. I thought it would make him want to take part in life with us. For a while he did, but only the good times, not the mundane. Then he went to just being happy to hear about it, now he doesn't want to hear about it or participate. I don't imagine they have any adventures worth repeating while in MLC.
Lael, their logic just illustrated that they are so mixed up, how could a dad think that his kids don't love him, I really think our spouses must have been offered such mixed messages throughout life about the true meaning of love.
My MIL tells our lads she loves them, they read the words but they are sent along side anger and judgement, luckily they realise that it doesn't add up, they realise that she is sending very mixed messages. It's like abuse, she has even said she is witholding love from them until the respect her.
Both sons said "OK, whatever, she is a fruitloop, dad has too many of her genes, the whole family are loons"
If she is doing this to her grandkids, then I presume she did the same to her son, no wonder H is confused, maybe he only experienced this kind of love, conditional love, I don't know I wasn't around but I've heard & seen enough to take a wild guess.
What I don't understand is, why he chooses to do the same thing, I think he will be horrified if he realises what he has done.
A lot of my XH's issues have come from the way he was raised. His father cheated on his mother and left when he was just two. Then his mother got into an abusive marriage. I don't think my XH ever learned to accept love, or how to show it. Our kids loved him dearly, they still do, but he can't accept their love because he has placed too many conditions on it.
He sent a text tonight telling me he wondered if the kids ever wanted him because he took them to Disneyworld three years ago, and they never thanked him. I told him that loving the kids, and letting them love him should have been thanks enough, but he wasn't capable of that. I realize now that trip was at the beginning of his MLC. He was definitely in anger mode.
He is constantly telling the kids they must respect him, but he shows them no respect. My XH withholds his love in exchange for respect, right now the kids don't respect him, but they do love him.
His love has always had conditions attached. I respected my XH, but respect to my XH means total submission to him. Maybe that is why he felt OW showed him more love than he had ever felt before, he said she had him on a pedestal, but I believe now it was total submission due to her low self esteem. I on the other hand speak my mind, and probably spoke my mind when I should have held my tongue.
