After about a year of bold-faced lies about EA/PA with OM and more, my GF says that she wants to work on our relationship. Granted, everyone has their doubts when piecing their relationship back together. However, my fear is that she is only saying this because one evening I blew up and I finally told here that I had enough. I questioned why she was still living with me, when she stated 6 months ago that we were done and she was moving out. I told here that we needed to get the ball rolling in one direction or the other and we were either going to work on us or she needed to move out.
During that very heated discussion, she admitted that she was still living with me because she had no where to go. She eventually broke into tears and also said she was still there because she still loved me.
She is a very guarded person and is a very tough nut to crack. I believed her when she said that she still loved me because a lot of the signs where there over the past 6-7 months of DBing.
It's been about three or four weeks since this discussion. We have been sleeping in the same bed for about three weeks now. Things between us do seem better. However, I still do have my doubts.
1. - We really haven't talked about us yet. What went wrong? What I expect out of her. What she expects out of me. Etc.
2. - She really has not shown any remorse for what she has done. Months ago, when we were no longer dating but still living together, she would get depressed, start crying hard, and tell me she is so sorry for what she had done to me. However, she would not admit to what she had done. Since we have started to piece things back to get, there really has been no apology.
3. - Still has contact with OM. From my general observation, it tends to be less frequent but it is still occurring. This really chaps my ass. She has always claimed that he is only a friend. However, in my mind someone doesn't plan a trip across country to go see a "friend" and hide it from their significant other. At the very least this was an EA.
4. - Is she saying she wants to work on us because she has no where else to live.
I don't know how to handle these situations. Should I express my concerns to her? Should I tell her that I expect her to cut off contact with OM? Help!
Sometimes people are not a match. When something like this happens after only two years of dating, you have to look beyond "love" and determine what is the healthiest direction. Be thankful you are not legally or financially obligated or have children to shuffle between two homes.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
