I am really taking one moment at a time. I am really all shaken up since I have finalized my thoughts on D-ing my W. I am moving over here from the MLC forum. If you want you can read the background of my sitch in my last post here:
Last night I was all alone and I sat on the couch, relived all the happy memories with my dear W one year at a time and I cried and let the tears roll. No holding back. I had to do this to prepare myself for this very day that I never thought I would have to see. I just came back from visiting my L and authorized her to proceed with the D. I never thought I can end a relationship like this. But this is the best thing I can do to show that I still love my MLC WAW. I need to let her go and let me get through this crisis so that I can heal myself and my 2 DDs.
Looks like the D papers will be ready in 2 days and I can arrange to have them served on her. I do need some help and guidance from someone who has gone thru this. I was of the idea that its best to give your spouse a notice before she is being served, to avoid shocking her. But my L also advised on not doing it, since she may not show up to accept the papers. I still feel better about proceeding with the first option, have her come to my home and then have the papers served. What do you guys suggest?
All I would really love to have now is a time machine, so that I could roll back the life a few years and I can put to practice all the things I have learnt about R and M since the sitch started. I still love my W and I still want her back in life. I still just don't feel good about serving her the papers, but I realize its time for tough love and to show her that I am a man of my words when it comes to protecting my kids.
Me 41, ring on W 36, ring off married 13 yrs Separated D9, D5 bomb May, 07 My sitch
This is so tough! My W will be served D papers today. I have been shedding tears once in a while at work and I hope nobody sees me. I hope nobody has to go through this hell. I still love my W and I want her back in my life, but she is too stubborn to listen.
I never imagined that I have to be the one divorcing her, but this is the only way I can protect my kids. Just to give you a brief history, my W has been spending all her time with her OMs when she has the kids with her. She feels I have no say on what she does in her personal life. She is right, I have no intention to control her and stop her from spending time with someone she loves , but I sure care about my 2 DDs to have them expose to affairs beyond what they are already going through about our separation.
My W asked in an email today what I plan to do with our home - buy her out or sell it and split the gains? I replied that I prefer to discuss these things in person and not via emails. She is going to pick up the kids from daycare and visit my home to talk. She will be served the D papers when she is at my home. I hope this does not turn out to be a emotional explosion. I am having difficulty controlling my emotions. I am praying that God gives me the strength to get through this tonight and act in ways that still shows that I love her and care for her to have her back in my life.
Me 41, ring on W 36, ring off married 13 yrs Separated D9, D5 bomb May, 07 My sitch
No holding back. I had to do this to prepare myself for this very day that I never thought I would have to see. I just came back from visiting my L and authorized her to proceed with the D. I never thought I can end a relationship like this. But this is the best thing I can do to show that I still love my MLC WAW. I need to let her go and let me get through this crisis so that I can heal myself and my 2 DDs. 
, but I sure care about my 2 DDs to have them expose to affairs beyond what they are already going through about our separation.