There and Back, #6

[mkultra]

The whole tenth thing is kind of overrated. Don't give it too much power. Mine rolled by. Poof.

I lived in the English countyside. Y a know what? It has not changed in hundreds of years. The building where I stayed was hundreds of years old and every place has a pub with a ghost. It will always be there for you. Start planning now to go in the next two years. I am planning an Ireland trip. Who knows when I will go but I listen to Irish music and read Lonely Planet Ireland and... shhh.. don't tell anyone, but I peaked at the Irish version of EHarmony to see what kind of men there are there!

Morgan, I hate to say this and you know I feel for you, but your H sucks. He really is making a huge mistake and his hole he is digging is just getting deeper. I really resent that about him so just think how his family and friends feel dealing with him acting like a schmuck. I am sorry that sounds harsh and I know you love him but it is so hard to hear someone do this to someone who is so loving and positive every day. Remember to take care of you. You have been taking care of everyone else. Be selfish sometimes! You are so understanding! You even understand how he feels about traveling. Geez, this guy! He is so going too regret what he has done and I guess you know that so you are being patient until he wakes up.

I will borrow your new goaland also get a passport. What about a cruise to Mexico or New Orleans?

[mkultra]

Yum ,Thrifty's ice cream. Rainbow sherbert cylinder for 30 cents! We used to get the waxy vampire teeeth there for Halloween!

Jimboys rocks because you can order fries with a taco! Great combination!

Here we have Dreyer's Ice Cream, not Edy's!

Oh yeah, the place I lived in England is called Buckinghamshire between Oxford and London. A lot of rich rock stars had homes in the country and I think they filmed A Room with a View there.

Rent The Holiday and/ or Persuasion until you go!

[nephartiti]

I am thinking I could use some of that apple crisp right about now, witha huge scoop of vanilla ice cream (well soy cream):)

You should definitely treat yourself to a mini-vacation. Everyone needs a break sometimes. I have a feeling you're way over due.

I agree with MK, you are a gem. If he doesn't come to his senses, then he's one hopeless idiot. I will give him credit in the Dad dept though. Plus he has been open enough with you to discuss things re: kids and OW, and he has respected your wishes. He's earned a few brownie points in my book, but who's keeping score?

[SallyM]

thanks ladies. and yeah, I am a gem. lol. h does suck, although I do give him credit, too, for some things, since he could suck a whole lot more. (kids/money are pretty good right now, considering). its just sad, because everyone (family/friends) tells me he is making a huge mistake, that he is going to realize someday just what he has given up. but the thing is, he seems pretty excited, not about what he is giving up, but about what he is going towards. he's pretty happy, generally speaking, about his choices. even though he throws some confusion at me from time to time, he's just got a bit of guilt. I think in the end, its just going to be me sad about what he gave up.

I'm spending way too much time thinking about him again. I was thinking about them again all day yesterday...about the first time they said I love you and such. all of it. no, I don't know the answer to that, but I do know they tell each other they love each other, so obviously there was a first time. and I think back to when H and I first said it. so weird that he has moved on so completely, it really is.

I need to get my ass back to the gym. I swear its the lack of endorphins that is getting to me. am feeling well enough that I am going as soon as I drop S5 at school. its supposed to warm up later so thinking I may take the kids to the farm and let them run around this afternoon, then H is going to try to come over again after work. think while he's here I'm going to go boot shopping.

mk, how wonderful that you got a chance to live in england for a time. I'll get there, with or without him. I will. I really can see my life as a good life without him in it. just wish I could get past wanting him in it.

[LL44]

I agree with mk, since I love me some morgan, its sooo hard to watch her try to move on with her life, while wanting H back. And here he is, just going about his life without a care in the world.

Hope you can have a good day with the kiddos. Get to the gym tonight if H comes over!

[mkultra]

It is the mistake part that is so frustrating. It is very predictable. Sorry to beat a dead horse, but he is going to come around eventually. THs say it takes 3 months to two years right? But most LBS cannot wait that long before the WS realizes it. It does suck that the clocks get out of sync and we cannot just say,

"Hey you are having a mid life crisis. Right now you are wearing a costume and using transitional friends. You are in replay and your affair with a weaker woman, younger version of spouse, looser OP is a temporary ego boost. When you are done in a few months, come find me as I will have gone dark and have started dating a more accomplished person."

[SallyM]

the other week when h was telling me he was so messed up in the head, I wanted to sit him down and explain it all to him...that he was in the midst of a mlc, and this and that are cliche aspects of it, etc, etc. I wanted to explain everything I have come to understand over the last 6 months of my own therapy. but the truth is, its a path of self-discovery, one he needs to figure out on his own. if he ever straight out asked me what I thought was wrong with him, I'd tell him, but so far he just seems to want to get mired in it all from time to time, and use it to excuse his behavior.

I did have a good w/o today, so happy about that. I have the song, "defying gravity" from wicked in my head...awesome song, makes me want to stop holding back and fly (okay,will stop before I get too hokey).

[LL44]

mk is right. The clocks are off, and that's a bad thing. Sometimes the LBS can't take it anymore, and just when you think its going to end, they come around. Maybe that's detachment in disguise. But we all have to decide just how long we can stand this, do we really want this 'new' person back now that we know what they are capable of, and are we ready to set ourselves up to possibly be hurt again. Not to mention, even after reconciliation, it seems to me the LBS does most of the marriage work as well.

Glad you worked out, miss morgan.

[SallyM]

thanks, lwb.

change of plans. S3 decided to finally try using the potty, so we're diving into potty training instead of going to the farm. wish me luck! this child is so clueless about what is what I don't think it will be a very quick or painless experience, but hey, at least he is expressing some interest. he's my last one, so wow, imagine a life without diapers. gasp.

he is sitting on the potty right now and D3 is having a very long and drawn out discussion about how girls bodies are different. omg, I have tears running down my face the discussion is so funny.

[my3sons]

You can thank preschool and peer pressure for S3's sudden interest. He doesn't care what D3 does, but if more than a couple of the kids at school are doing it, he's going to want to.

Such fun!