Posted 09-11-2007 09:57 ...is it wrong that a tiny part of me wants to make sure our home - which he moved from 3 weeks ago, but comes back to 1x/week to p/u his mail (while I'm at work)looks better than it ever has? Really clean, new, "happy" decorations, etc.... I think I wnt him to see the contrast between the beautiful place he left and the apt. where he is living now.....
It is sort of like a mini 180, I ordinarliy wouldn;t have done such "sesaonal" decorating, or hung curtains and done minor repairs alone.....
No its not wrong. But make sure you are doing it for your enjoyment of the decorations, and clean house, NOT to try to punish or guilt him into something.
If you are doing it in some way for him you stand a good chance of reverting back to the old way if/when he comes back. Then it looks like a trick instead of an honest effort.
Steel
M 39, W 35 D7, S5 Friends 18+ Together 11+ Married 8 ILYBINILWY 4/7/07 - A BOMB 4/29/07 Seperated 5/16/07 - D Filed She Moved out 7/1 D Busted 6/15/08
I do not think it is silly at all. I am doing the same thing. Our home has never been so clean and tidy. I know it is something he has always longed for and I must say I was never good at it. At first I did it for him to make him happy but now it is just so easy to keep it that way with a schedule I have set up that I enjoy it myself and our S can find all of his stuff. So I am really enjoying it too and if it makes him see the light that is all the better.
Does it make you feel good too? If so then keep right on doing it.
I don't think that's wrong at all. Actually, I think that's an excellent idea. I have a tendancy when things with my M go wrong to get into a depression and let everything fall apart. I've been working really hard to not let that happen this time and when my W does come over, I want her to see a clean house and a healthy me. If we're supposed to project happiness and contentment (act as if) then I think keeping a nice home is absolutely a piece of that. It's an outward sign of how we are inside.
I agree Bryan. You should check out the flylady she is great and once you get the house clean it is so easy to keep it that way. I am doing it with a 3 year old so it has to work since he picks up nothing ever.
