Code red. I am currently out of the house and trying to convince my wife to work on repairing our marriage rather than work on Legal Separation. The attorneys are spending our money fast and not engendering any goodwill. She claims she must see progress first, but won’t give specifics on how to measure or guage improvement. If I can propose a course of action with some measures, she might give me a chance, and more importantly some time. How does one one measure if I giving her due respect, not acting in a controlling manner, and not talking down to her? Any good tips on how to measure personal improvements? How to empower her to even notice that I am trying and improving? Thanks!
OK, you can't prove a negative, so you have to rephrase the goals. Start with that, describe what you are trying to measure in positive language ( without the word not). Then think of steps you can take to do those things such as:
give her due respect: listen when she talks, be able to repeat back to her what she has said, show concern about her feelings, do nice things for her.
Exactly. I can't prove a negative. All the positive things are happening but don't amount to anything if she can find one negative, no matter how seemingly insignificant. She is living in the negative and this is why we are about to get divorced.
