Hurdles and pressing forward......

[Between Tears]

Snodderly,

Wow, now 8 years later, he's reaching out to you, making calls, sending a gift of a doll, spending time with Geoffery and having him send you birthday greetings. Trying to place myself in his (distorted) "shoes", and looking at the clues, he's letting you know that you have been the only person he has ever felt intimate or so close with. The bathroom call was a dead give away.... think about it. Could the doll a way of reaching your more sensitive side, hoping to start a small apology, or just being "cute?" He has to know, you know, who it is.... he knows you are an intelligent woman.

I have to say, when I read your post, a memory came back to me from Dick. Out of the blue, he said to me "You never fought for us." In that moment, he sounded so distraught, and frightened, much like a little boy. Now, why would this memory come gurgling up while I was reading your post? Well, maybe because your xh is experiencing similar resentment/questions/feelings. It's obvious he knows your schedule, by the times you receive the calls.... Just out of reach, but not coming in on your days off... so what is he doing on those days? Is he sitting by and watching you? I wonder what would happen if you took off for a weekend, and weren't home, would he be calling on those days?

You know, Dick talks about me to S.... Dick gets a complete fill of information just by a few words given to him by S. I know it's a way for him to feel close and connected. Oh sure, he continues to bad mouth me to S, but I realize he is still trying to bring me down to his level, so he can feel comfortable with his quasi connection. It's also a way of him keeping one step ahead of me too, so that he can keep me from moving forward, and living my/our own life and being successful.

Five years ago, he could have been a hero by turning this all around, choosing to make amends and doing the work to heal the family, but now, all I see are desperate and sick attempts to remain connected to the only real family he has ever known.

Yes, I have to fully agree with you.... the more he/they act this way, the less and less I want anything to do with him.

Sounds like we both have some interesting weeks/months ahead.

Please be good to yourself, know that you are loved.

God Bless

Love,

Laughing

[job]

Laughing,
To be honest with you, I had hoped he would ride off into the sunset and not coming back. He had done a lot of damage prior to the divorce and still continues on w/his nit picking crap. He's too unpredictable and quite frankly, I don't trust him, even to this day.

Well, I hope my little adventures brought back some good memories for you. I sure wouldn't want to see any of the bad ones rise to the surface for you.

I hope everything is going well for you and the children. How are they doing in school?

Yes, you and I both have some interesting times ahead of us. I just hope that we can find a way to turn things around and give us both some peace and quiet.

Take care.

[Between Tears]

Oh Snodderly,

I do understand the hopes they'd ride off into the sunset, with the woman/family of their choice, and never look back. I don't wish him any harm, just go, and go away now.

After all, I do believe Dick's family of choice, is far better suited emotionally for him, as they truly deserve each other. Allow my children and I the room to heal and move into a life that we deserve too, as we all truly have earned a life of peace.

The children seem to be doing well, although they are concerned about Dick visiting at the end of the month for his psychological evaluation. It seems Dick is scheduled to be here on "Home Coming" weekend, (which seems early this year) and they are worried he will do another forced visitation and they will not be able to attend the festivities. Yes, I have called my attorney and left a message to explain the situation, however, as of yet, haven't heard back. I'm so tired of saying "I'm sorry" to the children, I hope there will be something I can do so they will be able to attend the game/home coming.

I am focusing on future peace and prosperity for the both of us. I've been told we "predict" our futures, by what we focus on. I'm working on keeping a more positive outlook.

Hope all is well with you, God Bless

Love,

Laughing

[job]

Laughing,
I hope he doesn't show up during the Home Coming week. Good grief, the kids need a break from his insanity and be able to enjoy the festivities at school. I will say a prayer and ask that he's little mental visit be postponed for a bit.

We both appear to have had our share of hard knocks w/these nuts and I am really looking forward to the day that I don't have to deal w/the antics, just like you.

All of your hard work will pay off when the time is right for it to be acknowledged by everyone. Take care of yourself.

[Between Tears]

It doesn't look like the kids are going to be so lucky... it seems Dick knows all about Home Coming, as I'm sure he'll ruin their plans too. He might let them go to the football game, which S does play TB, and D plays in the band... but I bet he whisks them away before the dance, because he will want to take them to his home with his wife and family. He won't want to wait around for the dance to end.

On top of that (excuse me while I hack up a few hair balls) it seems Dick has been doing "charity" work, or so he calls it that for the children. I actually wonder if it's community service he is doing for his DUI, again, I digress...... it seems he's been cleaning up parks, and doing other events which has enabled him to meet the Governor of CA, AND Brad Pitt. He proudly regaled these meetings in two separate conversations with the children, as if to say "Look I'm a good person, and worthy of your respect and love!"

Cough, hack, hack, spit.... Yes, I know I'm being rather testing and judgemental and negative here, but all I want to do is zip off an email releasing my furry and say "Hey Bubba, charity begins at home... now how about some of the money you owe me for the children..."

Okay, I feel a bit better venting my crappy attitude, but seriously, if he wants to feel better about himself, stop trying to take me down to his level, start acting like an adult, and take responsibilities for your own actions, and stop denying the children everything you've owed them! He's cut the children out of nearly 10,000/year alone in child support with the lies he has told about his income.... geez, and that doesn't count all the money he was told to pay me back. That money would go far while I'm trying to rebuild this place into a home.

Argh! I guess I'm angrier and more frustrated than I thought. Time for a some deep breathing.

I'll be back when I'm in a better mood.

Take care, God Bless

Love,

Laughing

[job]

Laughing,
I don't believe the man has one charitable bone in his body, much less in what is left of his brain cells. He's doing community service for that DUI is got. We have the same type of community service functions in this state too.

I'm sorry to hear he's coming to town and will most likely ruing the kid's homecoming weekend. What a pitiful man to do something like that. Maybe that wife of his will have something else planned for sweet cheeks at that time.

Laughing, you have every right to feel disgusted and angry. Who wouldn't w/the way he's gotten away w/everything and is still trying to pull your world apart, piece by piece.

I'm praying that something will happen to bring this man down to his knees and make him realize he's got to shape up because he's closer to death than he was when he was in his 20's. The pearly gates won't be opening up to let this one in by any means.

Please take care of yourself.

[Lissie]

On top of that (excuse me while I hack up a few hair balls) it seems Dick has been doing "charity" work, or so he calls it that for the children. I actually wonder if it's community service he is doing for his DUI

Oh Laughing, this made me chuckle, I mean charity work, really being community service? you can't make this stuff up.

I hope he doesn't ruin homecoming. UGH, my stomach hurts just reading it.


Meeting Brad Pitt makes him a good dad? Ofcourse Brad pitt left his marriage for another women. (sigh).

Maybe he can tell his new celebrity friends to give him money, so he can support his family. dork, dick. He has the perfect name btw.

Thank you for venting, I hope you feel better today, my sweet laughing, everytime the kids and I see ladybugs I think of you.

smoooches.

[goal]

Laughing,

My H is also doing charity work for our church (barf). He helps out with their financial reports and also prepares the church for their concerts. It is such a mass irony, isn't it. (no pun intended).

It is like they live in 2 different worlds.- good/bad

[FriendlyOneDuh]

Laughing and Snodderly,

When my ex declared he was moving to New Zealand (an Ohio boy, none the less) my brother shouted "I hope he stays there forever, best thing that could happen"

I think that's why yesterday when the Kooky Kiwi (as he is affectionately known) showed up in the hardware store where I work, I about plotzed. I'm 99% sure it wasn't him, but I'm not positive. Made me a tad paranoid last night, as the only reason he would be in town is to harass me!

eeek!

I didn't realize my ex had a good twin.

Take care, and thanks for listening.

J

[Between Tears]

Hmmm, Snodderly,

How about a couple of well aimed rocks at his knee caps... it's the only thing that may bring the man down to his knees.

Oh, you'd have had a laugh today.... D and I went to the "city" to find some furniture.

We left the old sofa and love seat back on the farm.... too old to worry about, too many bad memories, I thought it was a good idea. It's the same sofa that Dick had his head fit about way back in 2002, telling everybody that he spent well over $6,000 for and I allowed the old dog to lay on it. The truth was, it was a $1,500 living room set, (sofa, love seat and chair with ottoman, three tables to boot) that was over 7 years old then.

Anyway, D and I set off for the "New 2 You" store, with the idea we would find something. We couldn't agree on anything, so we decided to drive around the city until we found something that looked like something we could afford. Nope, no directions, just pointed the car and went.

Dick calls D, he can hear the two of us giggling about which way to go next, he asks what she is doing, so she tells him. The next thing I know, he says it sounds like fun, then he's on his computer, giving her the names of furniture stores and the addresses. I notice he is giving her brand name stores, I look at her, to say those stores are a bit out of our price range, tell him we are looking for the gently used furniture stores.

She smiles, then tells him we are looking for the different stores... seconds later, he has a list of stores, with addresses too. He even tries to get our exact location to give us directions to get there. I said that would just spoil the fun, we are just exploring the city, and seeing what is out there for us. He didn't want to hang up.... kept talking to her about the different things he had found on line.

Well, eventually he hung up, and we did find an outlet store with a pretty blue sofa and love seat, along with cofee table and two end tables. Nope, not a store that Dick had on his list, but I bet you could have guess that was coming too. I'll need to borrow a pick up this week, so that I can get our livingroom back to being livable.

Oh, also found out about "Jane" and her day in court. It seems she dragged two of her ex's into court to increase a few payments. Well, it seems the matter of medical insurance came up, and whether or not Dick was supplying it for their family. According to her, Dick said she and her children couldn't be on his policy because they didn't live together..... She was then asked if Dick's biological children were covered by his medical insurance, the reply was yes, of course. Then she was asked if they lived in CA or did they still reside in KS... She said, KS. The whole court room snickered. Needless to say, the Judge in her case is asking for brand new financials on everybody. So, it looks like the truth will come out eventually, and I hope that it eventually reaches out to me.

I hope Jane makes plans for the two of them on the night of homecoming.... that way everybody will be happy. On Saturday, he can come in and have the kids all weekend if he wants. He did mention something to the kids about spending a week's vacation here... although with them in school, and his house nearly 3 hours away, I'm not sure how much time they will have together. Ahh, not my problem.....

I hope you have a wonderful week!

Take care, God Bless

Love,

Laughing