Can't stand the waiting.....

[wantlove]

H moved out 2 weeks ago tomorrow and I haven't heard a word from him. The longest we have ever gone without speaking was 2 days\ - married 13 years. I know there is nothing I can do, that I just have to waitt for him to initiate contact, but how do I do that? I am QUICKLY losing my ability to do that. I miss him, and am very sad he has removed me from his life so easily.

[BryanS]

I don't think there's anything anyone can tell you that'll help with the "how". It's hard and you do it however you can. I can tell you that I understand what you're going through and just hold on, it won't last forever.

As for the last part, I doubt that he has removed you so easily. I get the same feelings from my W all the time but I know in my heart that it's not true. You and your H were married 13 years, nobody can throw that away with ease. He might be good at distracting himself right now but that too will not last forever. Again, hang in there, keep reading, talk to anyone you can trust about it, talk their ears off, talk until you're sick of your own voice and sick to death of talking about it. Then get some sleep and you'll find tomorrow will be just a touch better. Good luck

[wantlove]

Thanks for that BryanS. It is hard to believe he could toally forget me, but it seems like he has. He has dug his heels in and seems to be doing everything out of spite - not talking with me, not telling me where he lives, not having any idea of his work scheudle. I have bee completley shut out.....

[SallyM]

(((HUGS)))

sometimes i find it helpful to write H a letter in my journal...not one to send him, but it helps me feel like I communicate with him. we were always very close, he was my best friend, not just my h, so the cut-off was really hard for me.

[Luluber1]

I'm sorry this is happening to you-I'm facing the same thing: 3 weeks for me. No contact just leaves one wondering and asking "why?!" We may not find out why for a while and they may not be able to say "why" either. Your H hasn't forgotten you-as far as my situation I think my H is just "hiding" out, he isn't very communicative anyway, and when I thought about it he "runs" quite often from problems but then he comes back to them in his own time.
The things that have helped me get through the day is reading and re-reading DB and the posts, reading "Hope for the Separated-Gary Chapman," exercising, focusing on my goals and the goals for the kids, talking to close friends, journaling, crying, and remembering to end my day with prayer and a gratitude list.
Hang in there and be good to yourself.

[Lissie2414]

I am sorry to hear of your sitch. I am newly separated too however we have a little one so I do still get to see mine. I do know from what my MC has said it can take 4-6 weeks for the person to left to actually begin to miss the person they left. She said for about the first 4 weeks there is just relief for them that they have finally gotten themselves out of the sitch that they are in. So hang in there and hopefully you will be hearing from him soon. For me the waiting is the worst part and not knowing when he will miss me is even worse. But she says it does happen and that is when they really start to think about the sitch and figure out what they are doing.

[mkultra]

The sooner you do 180s the better! Remember to gat a life and stay positive. The wayward or walk away spouse needs a safe pathway home to his spouse. Don't remind him of love or responsibilty or commitment. You may not be able to guilt him back. Read everything related to mid life crisis if you think he has that disease. Stay postive, supportive, and understanding. See everything from his point of view and find something to agree with. Do not rally any troops yours or his. Most of all, NO SNOOPING! That will break down his path home and break trust big time.