I think my XH felt divorce would be his ticket back into kids lives too. He thinks they will suddenly forgive him and want to spend time with him and OW. He thinks the divorce will wash him clean, and will make the affair just a relationship that came at the end of a marriage. Even our minister told me he thought that was why XH was pushing for the divorce.
The damage has been done though, and it will take a lot of work for XH to get back into our kids lives. He pushed them away for to long. I don't think my XH is prepared for that much work, especially not while in MLC.
I was terrified of going to court, and brought a friend with me. We settled minutes before we were supposed to go before the judge. Just let H do all the talking because I'm sure he will make even less sense to the judge. If you have a good lawyer than you should be OK. I think my lawyer, and my XH's lawyer were grateful when we signed the papers because they didn't have to deal with his pettiness anymore. Some of the things he told his lawyer were unbelievable.
XH sent several texts today, and we had an argument of sorts tonight about the number of texts. I told him I had no problem not sending anymore ever, but he was the one initiating contact. Then he quickly said that he didn't mind some texts, and appreciated picture texts of the kids. I think he is afraid of losing contact with me, but wants to believe that it's me initiating it.
It's a Catch-22, most of his contact has at least something about the kids, so if I don't reply he will run to court and tell them I kept info from him about the kids. If I reply, then it turns into something else, and he turns it around to being an argument about us. I am not going to reply to anything he sends me this week. I was doing so good for a while, but last week when we had to have business contact about the divorce, I think he found a new way to come at me. If he includes info about bills, or kids, I reply and it makes him feel like he still has some power and control. He doesn't, but when I reply I give it to him.
According to the visitation schedule with the court, he is supposed to have the kids this weekend, I am guessing he will make some sort of phone call to our son and then not follow through on doing anything. My lawyer told me to journal anytime he skips a visitation, we are afraid he will skip it for months, then all of sudden want it and charge me with contempt.
