I am back from my little "vacation". It really did help me a lot. I got my head screwed back on. I am feeling good about things. Sorry to have left everyone high and dry but I really needed the break.
I am still pushing forward with trying to stay positive. I am determined more now than ever.
I will check in on everyone in a bit. I have a few things to do first.
Hey T2SP. its Joa I have not talked to you for quite a while and lost what was going on in your thread but I will read it and get caught up. talk to you soon Joa.
joa.....nothing has changed. I am still hanging in there. We get along ok with each other.
No talk of divorce in a long time. No talk of reconciliation either. I just keep taking it one day at a time. I have good days and bad days. I have meltdowns still but usually with the help of friends, I pull myself back up. Some days it is harder to pull myself up and it takes longer but I am trying to stay positive about things.
H is moving into a new apartment this weekend. It is in the same building but has more room. Right now he is in a 1 bedroom, this one is a 2 bedroom. I laughed and told him he was moving out of the dungeon. I am waiting for him to ask me to help him move some things from the house but I won't. He is going to be picking up the kids old bunk beds to use but he will have to find someone else to help move them. I helped him move into the first apartment but not again. It was too hard. Besides, until he helps me with a couple things around the house I need him to do, he is on his own.
I was a little upset about him moving but I am over it. A friend told me that with his MLC it is like he is going back in time and living the life he never had. He went straight from his mom to me. Now, he has gone from me, back to his mom's house (for 1 year), lived in a 1 bedroom dungeon for 1 1/2 years, now he is moving up to a normal apartment. She said to look at it like a kid. He moved from mom to high school and now it is college. She said the next step is for him to move home. I like that thought.
H came over for Labor Day cook out. It was very nice. Not much said but at least he came. We ate and watched a movie.
The thing that gets me is he used to tell me he didn't want to give me false hope. Does he not realize when he comes over for occasions that it is hope? Don't get me wrong, I love it when he comes over. I just wonder if he is trying to talk himself into believing that their is no hope. I feel he knows there is but he just needs this time to finish growing.
You all are lucky you caught me on a good day. If not, I would be ranting and venting. But hey, it is Friday and a nice sunny one at that.
welcome back
