H's Ad on CL

[JustDucky]

This morning I woke up earlier than the birds, and after getting the housework done, I was bored out of my skull. And still had two hours to go before work.

So, I started browsing CL, looking for nothing in particular. (That's the truth!) I clicked on the "Platonic Relationship" site. And there I found a very interesting ad in the M4W section.

"I'm looking for a walking companion for exercise and light conversation. Not interested in a LTR or a role (sic) in the hay. I'm considered handsome and in pretty good shape. (HWP). Your pic gets mine." His age, and the name of the lake we used to walk around was mentioned. I just KNOW this is H. (And he is VERY handsome!)

Since I have been working out, and have lost 25 pounds since he has been gone, I am ALMOST tempted to respond to the ad... the walk is great exercise! (it gets quite hilly). But then I think that it will REALLY push him away.

He has not initiated ANY contact with me since August 6th... no need to- no kids, etc... everything is done through our attorneys. I have sent him an e-mail every 10 days since then- no R or M stuff except for a paragraph about "earning" and "proving" love seems to be saved just for spouses. We don't ask our kids or our friends to "earn" their love and /or friendship. The other e-mail was carefully sent after a request I made at work concerning my hours was granted. I told him that I had applied for this request because there are things I want to do with my life, and the old schedule just wasn't working for me. This new schedule affords me a lot of freedom.
Then I planned on going dark... now that he has come to expect some sort of e-mail periodically. I plan on keeping that, UNLESS contacting him regsrding the walking would occur.

I would contact him as a stranger.. acting AS IF it WASN'T him, but otherwise being totally truthful. But then again, I think I should just give him his space.

AT LEAST he is NOT looking for an LTR or a roll in the hay. THAT'S GOOD (hopeful), isn't it?

Any opinions would be appreciated.

[AmyC]

You do NOT "know" that that is him on that site.

Word to the wise from someone that's played a similar game, DON'T pose as a stranger and contact him. Life ain't like that Pina Colada song. In fact, stay off that site PERIOD. This is not a game and therefore you can never compromise your integrity as a stander by doing something like this because it WILL backfire on you. I can not express that enough. Even though my sitch is different - I was a MLC/WAW - I did something like this to get my husband's attention and it SET MY SITCH BACK AN ENTIRE YEAR. He will turn this around on you. Don't do it.

[JustDucky]

I guess I wasn't very clear about the stranger part. I would contact him using my real e-mail address, and all... just respond as though I didn't know it was him. But you're right in your thinking about integrity. Would I be responding to this ad if I really thought it was a stranger? NO. So why bother.

Thanks. I really appreciate your comments. I really do. As I lurk around this site, you are the example that I choose to emulate.

[AmyC]

As I lurk around this site, you are the example that I choose to emulate.

Oh, Lord.
I am still here because I've made a lot of mistakes while "standing". At one point, I was desperate enough that I threw my faith right out the window and posted myself on an adult site in an effort to get my husband's attention by appealing to his "animal instincts" if you know what I'm saying. I knew at the time he was reading this board and would find me there, and he did. It got me a separation agreement, a cheap apartment in a bad part of town and another year of DBing. I am only just NOW starting to see the walls come down after that hairbrained scheme of mine last year. Don't emulate me. You could be here a while!

[JustDucky]

LOL..... Okay, I won't go THAT far! But I admire your faith, and your perseverance. And quite honestly, I'm not too sure I could post on an "adult" site... I'd wind up laughing too much! (And I know my H... he wouldn't dream of going to one of them anyway... oh wait... I wouldn't have dreamt that he'd move out and file for divorce, either. I'll throw that antiquated idea right out the window!)

[mkultra]

Consider that part of snooping and snooping is not good for anyone. Think about it this way, what if our spouses read evrything we posted on this forum? I would feel like I would lose a valuable place for me to feel safe and accepted. I guess I am having an affair with Michele!