I've never really been into Captain Wentworth, I admit. He's a good character, not unrealistic at all. Just not my type.
Well, I'm not really sure if he is truly my type either. After all, I'm not really Anne. Are you attracted to the Bronte heroes? I have a theory that most women swing strongly one way or the other. I think it has to do with temperament. I usually stay within the warm to cool range so I like the subtle gestures of Austen's characters. Women who swing more wildly from cold to hot prefer the Bronte men. However you don't really strike me as a drama queen so maybe there's a third type of hero you prefer?
Brontë heros? No, not really. I haven't read all of their books, mind you. Only the obligatory Wuthering Heights, Jane Eyre, and, uhm, the not-so-obligatory The Tenant of Wildfell Hall. Heathcliff isn't a person, he's a force of nature; Mr Rochester is too Henry-Higginsish, and whatever-his-name-was made no impression at all, so I believe he was a dull character. *g*
Funny about Emily's poetry, isn't it? The same hand that penned those insipid verses was able to write a death-obssessed novel about cruelty and revenge. Odd, that.
Lilliperl, I haven't seen the movie, although I'd like to.
Yes, I am good at creating sexually exciting situations for myself and the man to whom I am relating.
Okay. Good. I think we are now in the same zoo. Good to know.
The whole 'vulnerability' aspect you've been mulling... I'm not so sure that is a 'cow' thing, especially after reading Hap's post to you... and you agreeing with her.
I generally see cows as not very intelligent... pretty stupid, actually. I think you were treated AS A COW by your ex... and maybe you just accepted his version of seeing you as a cow, rather than actually being what you really are.
So... I think that part of you that you are calling a COW is actually something else... and you just don't know what it is. But because you have been abused as a cow, and labeled a cow... you take it in absence of knowing any better. Kind of like the story of the Ugly Duckling. He had no idea he WASN'T an ugly duck, but rather, a beautiful swan.
I think that might be part of it. You've got a cow in the zoo, in place of _______ fill in the blank. And as the zoo keeper, you are just now realizing that. "Holy sh!t, THAT'S NOT a cow!? Then what is it???? Once you figure out what that is, you can feed and care for it properly.
Kwis?
I'm willing to bet that when you do figure out the proper identification of that animal, it's going to very much like strong man arms... and that feeling you get when you experience those strong man arms, at certain times, is not fear at all... just something you THINK, as a mislabeled cow, is fear.
And then that would mean I really do have a grip on this whole Animal Farm/Zoo thing... and wow... that might make me a dolphin... or a modern day Dr. Doolittle...
For example... if one is into such things... you could very well be a swan... Mother Goose and all... the following is an animal totem description:
The Swan
Graceful elegant birds the swan seems to glide through the water leaving hardly a ripple behind. Its persuasive beauty reminds us to move gently through the currents of life and not battle them.
Swans are one of the fastest fliers. During migration they fly in V formations at great heights. Their wing beats are slow but steady. This gives them the endurance needed to reach their destination quickly without tiring. Those with this totem have the same abilities and should observe, then apply, the movements of swan when pursuing goals.
The swans large wings embrace the sky collecting and storing knowledge from the heavens. Their white plumage reminds us of the wonder and innocence found in the purity of spirit. Their long slender necks serve as a bridge between the mundane and the extraordinary. Upon this bridge lies the wisdom for spiritual realization.
The swan mates for life. Courtship involves mutual bill dipping or head-to-head posturing. They are committed devoted partners. In personal relationships humans make commitments they cannot keep. By applying swans skills in our life we begin to honor what we have chosen. This in itself is a powerful lesson for those who hold this medicine. Honoring commitments increase ones personal integrity.
While feeding, swans do not dive into the water like other birds. They skim its surface dipping themselves in and out. In man, water is associated with the feminine principal of intuition and emotion. By following the lead of the swan we learn how to view our emotions without getting trapped by them. Our intuition helps us understand our feelings and the swan helps us process them efficiently.
Swans are sociable birds with a long life span. They live about 20 years in the wild and 50 years or more in captivity. The swan is a totem that teaches us grace through movement and longevity through inner knowledge. When we look upon the swan it invokes a feeling of tranquility in us and reminds us to experience the beauty and magic of life.
And before you zip off arguing this... just think... if you had a swan, but had been viewing it/caring for it as a cow... I think you can see where this might cause some problems for the zoo feeders/visitors and... the swan.
You are a freakin' genius. In one fell swoop you answered the two questions I've been asking myself which are:
1) What do you get if you grow-up bunny?
2) Who is the woman who is not the mother but not the lioness since the lioness is really pretty masculine?
Also, I was actually thinking that it had to be some sort of water animal. The swan is perfect because bunny is a little girl dressed in pink with her hair up in a ponytail at ballet class and the swan could be the prima ballerina or the ballet teacher with her hair up in a chignon dressed in white. The swan is also the woman who makes love to the man who is not the father. Also the swan grows from the bunny through intuition, like the monkey grows to the lioness through curiosity or the hunt for knowledge and these are my two strongest traits. What an elegant solution. I can't thank you enough.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I'm not sure how you go from bunny to swan, or monkey to lioness... but, hey, it's your zoo. I'm just pretty doggone sure, having talked with you for so many years, and having met you in person... that a COW is NO WHERE in sight.
I'd like to make a lunch date with you, again, in the very near future, to discuss it in person, however. Over sushi (swan eat fish, I believe)... cows eat grass/grain/hay. Blech.
I can see in THAT scenario, with you and I chewing the cud, that the monkey is going to get bored and start throwing the grain just to amuse itself, and in the process, the thrown grain is going to hit the lioness... and that's just NOT good.
btw, the bunny in the car seat thing with the tippy cup description? Jesus Christ, I laughed my azz off...
I'd like to make a lunch date with you, again, in the very near future, to discuss it in person, however. Over sushi (swan eat fish, I believe)... cows eat grass/grain/hay. Blech.
I'd love to have lunch. The swan loves fish and seaweed too!
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btw, the bunny in the car seat thing with the tippy cup description? Jesus Christ, I laughed my azz off...
I'm glad I amused. Can you tell I was feeling kind of cranky this afternoon? There should have been a soundtrack of a hot, itchy, bored monkey whining attached to the description. As LP has pointed out several times, when a Type 7 starts making a lot of rules for herself it's a sure sign of low-functioning. Pretty much I've been manifesting the worst traits of the bunny and the monkey since my separation which means I've been acting like a creature that doesn't even quite make animal status, I've been a "Cabbage" or as my sister very aptly put it "Why are you acting like such a freaking coquette?" I had a pretty good idea of the definition of coquette but I looked it up anyways.
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COQUETTE: a woman who endeavors without sincere affection to gain the attention and admiration of men
Yup, that about sums up my behavior. I'm not very proud of myself but I must say that if a female is looking for sexual validation playing the cabbage/coquette will do the trick. However, in the future I shall be dating as the swan/lioness and using my intuition/knowledge to find my next lover. I can throw out the rulebook since the immature animals will only be making brief appearances, like children sneaking a few appetizers before being bundled off to bed when the grown-ups throw a cocktail party. It will be just like when I use my intuition/knowledge to shop for books. I'll just ask myself "Does this man hold value for me?" and the vast majority of the time I'll make the correct judgment.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Maybe you're not being a COquette, but a CROquette because you've just BROKEN up with someone:
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cro·quette /kroʊˈkɛt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kroh-ket] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun a small cake or ball of minced meat, poultry, or fish, or of rice, potato, or other food, often coated with beaten egg and bread crumbs, and fried in deep fat.
I'm just pretty doggone sure, having talked with you for so many years, and having met you in person... that a COW is NO WHERE in sight.