You hang in there. It is all about them trying to bully and contol us. I read the book Emotional Blackmail..A friend gave it to me. It is very good and it would help alot of people on here see what H or W do to make us feel like it is our fault. I used to believe it was all my fault.
The C i went to also couldn't believe I have stayed so long. I keep telling myself that it is for financial reasons that I have to take care of my self and the boys. That is what you need to do. It is you and your daughter now. He has to deal with what happens he is the one that wanted out. You stay strong.....
Hugs for you . It is a tough old road but I believe we are making progress.
1) The divorce is not your fault, and it is certainly not your fault if he decides to hire a lawyer. That is entirely up to him.
2) You have absolutely no reason to hurry this along, so this 2-week wait is just fine for you. At this rate, DD will have graduated and H will have retired before the divorce, and a lot of your unresolved issues will be moot!
3) H's offer is totally inadequate. If for some reason your lawyer were to allow you to accept it, you could probably sue her for malpractice!
I better not wait for H to retire before we settle because it would affect the outcome in a negative way I am sure. My big mistake from the start was negotiating with H even though I had a lawyer. At the beginning I thought our friendship was more important than our settlement. Not sure I really believed the D would happen. I know that was a mistake! Looking objectively I can see how H manipulates the situation to suit him. He has done that throughout our marriage.....I just wasn't wise enough to see it.
Can't believe my baby is now 17! Dinner went fine. It was wierd in some ways.....seemed so "normal". H even came early and fell asleep in the recliner while watching the football game. It was "normal" until everyone left... including H! At least I know we can all get together to celebrate a special occasion.
It does sound like H is trying to take advantage of the fact that you wanted your M to work. He thinks that you will do anything he wants in order to try to save the M. But it's time to look out for you and your DD and not worry about what will happen to H. He needs to feel the consequences of his actions. ((((((hugs))))).
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
