Hi everyonenot familiar with all the abbreviations yet. Breifly bomb dropped beginning of May She left 15th May 27 years married,children by my first marriage now in their thirties No children in current marriage. Me 60 W 52 this year. Been having pretty regular contact, this has softened a bit in recent weeks since I started DBing.No OM involved she is living at her sisters house with S an BiL. Seemed very close to me last night at local club we even had 2 dances together. Tonight she has brought the dog home and says the dog can stop the night. However she only stayed for 5 mins and seemed more distant though freindly. She seemed in a rush to leave although she said she wasn`t going out anywhere. Does anyone think she is starting to come out of this or am I still on the rollercoaster?
Just saw your post and wanted to welcome you to the DB Board. I am sorry that you find yourself here btw..
Not sure if I can give you much advice on your sitch.. however, if you havent done so... get your hands on a copy of DR.. maybe check out some of the MLC posts and information as well.
Sure.. just try to keep only one thread going as it is easier to read and stay updated etc... it also seems to be the busiest forum these days for some reason ?
I am sorry you are here, but boy it helps when people understand what you are going through. I wonder if W is worried about you guys getting closer, hence her being distant and pulling back a bit? They are timid creatures, we have to approach slowly as to not scare them away.
Rollercoasters, so many of them, but you can do it.
Thanks for the replies. Nugget has asked for a bit of background. I think MLC is probably the reason for all this. My wife always wanted children but although we tried desperately (including 2 IVF sessions) this was not to be. In May 2003 she had to undergo a hysterectomy due to complications with Fibroids.On the night she dropped the bomb she told me that her "mind" had been "changing" and she first felt it coming on after the op. She lost her Mum in Jan2006 and I think this has a strong bearing on the issue.(I don`t think she has fully greived her mother`s death. Prior to the seperation she had been dressing a lot younger and became obssessed with regular excercise and healthy eating she even went to her G.P. to see about not taking any more H.R.T. tablets (probably because of the breast cancer scares in the press) We have been out together for about 3 hours this aft(longest time together alone since the split)and had a pleasant meeting. We haven`t discussed any serious issues and I don`t push them. She has been telling me all about her new job (caring for the elderly) which I helped her to get. Some of the instances of her Mums illness and her caring came out during this. The thing that irks me the most although I don`t pass comment on it is that she regards her sisters house as her home. She has one very small back bedroom in a very small terraced house. She has a beautiful home here which she was always proud of. I suppose things are improving in that several weeks ago she wouldn`t come in the street let alone the house. Thanks for your help and I would apprecite any further advise
Thanks for the replies. Nugget has asked for a bit of background. I think MLC is probably the reason for all this. My wife always wanted children but although we tried desperately (including 2 IVF sessions) this was not to be. In May 2003 she had to undergo a hysterectomy due to complications with Fibroids.On the night she dropped the bomb she told me that her "mind" had been "changing" and she first felt it coming on after the op. She lost her Mum in Jan2006 and I think this has a strong bearing on the issue.(I don`t think she has fully greived her mother`s death. Prior to the seperation she had been dressing a lot younger and became obssessed with regular excercise and healthy eating she even went to her G.P. to see about not taking any more H.R.T. tablets (probably because of the breast cancer scares in the press) We have been out together for about 3 hours this aft(longest time together alone since the split)and had a pleasant meeting. We haven`t discussed any serious issues and I don`t push them. She has been telling me all about her new job (caring for the elderly) which I helped her to get. Some of the instances of her Mums illness and her caring came out during this. The thing that irks me the most although I don`t pass comment on it is that she regards her sisters house as her home. She has one very small back bedroom in a very small terraced house. She has a beautiful home here which she was always proud of. I suppose things are improving in that several weeks ago she wouldn`t come in the street let alone the house. Thanks for your help and I would apprecite any further advise
I am not sure about it being a MLC, but it sounds like she has been through a lot of disappointments in her life and may feel a little bit like a failure. It also sounds like her body has gone through a lot also and she is most likely very sub-conscious about it. Continue with what you are doing. Give her her space, be supportive, be her friend and like always be patient. You are doing great.
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
