First off, thank you for being a straight shooter. Being in corporate America, you get a lot of sugar-coated milk duds but we all know its not milk duds. (Hell, I know I've been guilty of some of that too.) I do try not to say too much, 'cause I don't know if W is lurking, although, I am pretty sure she would not be trolling through DB sites, because she's planned the D for a while and there is no repairing this train wreck (I had a fleeting glimmer of hope, but that was foolhardy - any thoughts of being a 'failure' aside.).
Having said that, you are right, she is nuts. I thought she was a 'difficult' or high-maintenance person, but I didn't feel she was quite nuts until she got me taken out of my home, thereby giving me a chance to be separated from the day-to-day enough to look at our R from an arms-length perspective. What the hell was I thinking??
Well, enough about that. I am pretty much a stable guy; level headed; don't get upset too easy; work well under pressure; try to be funny, but usually come off as corny - the usual stuff. What does get me riled up, though, is the court system. I have never worked in such a deceitful, conniving, incestuous environment in my LIFE. I come from the biz world, where you seek to provide an environment conducive to good relationships, strong negotiations and a win-win (read: respect) situation for all the parties at the table.
This is not how the court system works. You have these Ls lying about each others clients, lobbing unsubstantiated 'bombs' at each other, then smiling in the waiting room, chatting up the next case, where their roles are reversed. (Defendants attorney today, plaintiffs L tomorrow and Law Guardian next week!) All while enjoying a cup of coffee and returning calls about other cases, ON YOUR DIME!!!
I actually told my L that we had matters to discuss to please check on calls after we were through and he was bothered by it. WTH?!?!
Alright, getting a little hot under the collar and off topic. Well I didn't know the game (hate like hell that I'm forced to learn it, because that is so not me) so now I have to play catch up. I think you are right, I need to really kiss ass and kill them all with kindness, especially since I inadvertently found a way to show just how nuts the W is. (Maybe I'll touch on this in my next post.)
On the networking and church comments, I have received similar wise counsel from close friends and relatives, so I've ramped that up. I now go to a different church (feel MUCH more comfortable there too) where friends that I hadn't been in contact with for a while attend. They do not know my sitch, so it was easy to relate and answer generic questions with generic replies. Also, I've been able to line up some friends and neighbors who are willing to go to bat for me, should it come to that.
Wow long rant... guess my next point to ponder may be (the real) GAL. :-} Scary...
So I went to pay my auto Ins policy at the agency. Was told that my policy expired and that they would not be renewing it. We've had our policies with this agency for 15 years (b4 we were M). Come to find out that W 'informed' them that we were divorced and cancelled my policy and brow beat them into not speaking to me about our policies (2 cars, 1 home, 1 valuables). So I went home and decided to go to another agency that a friend had recommended some months back. Got my car and the house insured for less than it cost at the previous agency.
When the paperwork caught up to W she went ballistic. Going to the (new) agency and literally cornering a rep with her demands that the policy be cancelled and who were they to cancel the original home policy, yadda, yadda... The Owner/agent pulled her into his office and told her that they could not act on her demands as she was not who signed the contract. After yelling, and ranting forcefully until the agent stopped explaining that he could not do as she commanded, she left.
Cut to the scene at the mortgage company. She goes postal in there too, about them having allowed me to change things (despite the courts saying that I was to pay the mortgage and she was to pay utilities) like where the bills went (my new address) and how the refund for the insurance was coming to me (of course it goes back to them to place back into escrow, but I digress...) and she made a perfect fool of herself. So much so that this time she was escorted out of the back by the guard there.
First I got the call from the L and then the Ins. agent about what happened. Needless to say I was mortified. I was apologizing profusely to the agent, for having such vile and vitriol visited upon their establishment. Well he assured me that they were quite capable of handling the sitch., and that I shouldn't really worry. I told the L to get copies of the bank tape and see if he could get the Ins. agent to provide an Affidavit or something. I don't think I can face him, I'm so embarrassed.
What a way to show your claws there, babe...
Maybe I should stop feeling so Crumbme and start realizing the blessing this D may be for my wellbeing.
Just signed up for a 'Purpose Driven Life' study group. It's based on the best selling author Rick Warren's book of the same name. Starts Friday. I feel good about the group and the prospects of cultivating positive relationships.
