Wow, those are words of my own during my affair almost verbatim. I would like to say that it means your husband misses you and his life with you, but I just don't know. Sometimes I worry about giving advice on here. I feel like I'm just one woman, one flawed woman who was lucky enough to get a second chance. What do I know about other people's marriages? How can I tell you or anyone what their WAS is thinking? I'm afraid I'll tell one of you something completely wrong, disappoint you with high hopes because I came home just like you all want your spouses to do.
Your husband probably isn't sure anymore that he's so perfectly happy with the OW. He wants to know how far you've moved on and if he's passed his point of no-return.
The grass may be greener, but then again, it may also be astroturf. ~Amy C Brown
my H is away to a wedding this weekend with the Ow that he and I had planned to attend. He is texting me. We are going through a legal separation that has ( it seems without his knowledge) turned into a divorce application.His Ow typed the response letters to my lawyer saying to proceed to divorce. My H signed them but now tells me that I made the application. I want my marriage. His text message was " Just a heads up I want you to have all the money from the sale of our current house for your new house" why text that when his on his way to a romantic 4 day weekend with the OW?
will being at another wedding cause him to reflect on us? when my H professes to be so very happy, is that true?
Thank you for your contributions they are very insightful to us H's with wives in what seems to be this same ordeal. Can't wait to hear about the IlYBNILWY answer. Another question would you consider what your H did to work through this as tough love? Your H seems like a very wise and centered man. Thank you
ME-39 W- 39 S-10 s-9 D-7 M-13yrs together almost 20. Bomb dropped 7/13/07 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#Post1144666
Hey Prodigal Wife, I am glad to hear your sitch is going better. I also want to add that many of us probably can look around at our own circle of friends, family, and neighbours to see that there are many prodigal spouses. I am not sure if we are a Divorce Generation, but I have heard many stories of adulterous spouses coming back home after flings and that includes my parents, aunts, and uncles. What is more rare is to see into the mind of the OP. I can almost understand why a spouse might cheat but not why a single person would get involved with a married person. All I can think of is Jim and Pam from the Office on American TV and how their office friendship looked like they were entitled to cheat on their fiances.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
prodigalwife, everything you said sounds so very familiar! The soulmate theory all of it. Went through that 2 years ago.
Guess my question is...how did you show your husband you truly were sorry for what you did? My H "yelled" his apology at me...and somehow I am not finding sincerety in that. Since this was what I got for an apology...I am having an extremely hard time getting "past" what happened.
My H has shown some good faith...but my question is...and he "won't" answer it..."How does a person just go from being garbage (meaning me...) tossed off to the side with no thoughts or regrets...to the "Love of H life" in a mere 10 days?" I asked him this right after his A ended with OW...suddenly he loved me blah blah blah. As far as I am concerned...I won by "default"...thinking she dumped him.
I would put my thread in but was 2 years ago I was on here non-stop...
will being at another wedding cause him to reflect on us? when my H professes to be so very happy, is that true?
My H went to the wedding of a couple of our friends in January. A wedding that I would have been going to as well. Weeks later I found photos of him and OW at this wedding, looking like they were having the time of their lives. Frankly, I think it's incredibly poor taste to take someone who is not your spouse as your date to a wedding. Kind of spitting in the face of the whole concept IMO, though no one else (all of them people I had considered my friends as well) in any of the wedding photos seemed at all disturbed by it.
It wasn't long after this wedding that H sent me the, "I'm seeing someone new" email.
As for your H texting you when he's meant to be off on a romantic getaway with OW, I dunno what to make of that, but surely it's some kinda good sign that you're still on his mind?
Last edited by Ophelia; 08/18/0706:06 PM.
Me:30 H:30 Together:10yr H left:Oct3'06,couple weeks before 5th wed anniv. No Kids OW bomb:Jan19'07 My thread: He filed.
My H has already taken this same OW to his brothers 50th birthday party he said as a form of closure before he was coming home again. And I was oh so accomodating even so far as to say yes to borrowing my digital camera to freeze caprute this moment in time for them. When he returned to our home my kids S21 and D19 found the pictures and deleted them.According to my children they depicted my H and the OW behaving like lusty 17 year olds. My H claimed that was the most disrespectful thing his kids had ever done to him. That time he stayed home 2 weeks before returning to the OW's. He then asked to come home at Easter for the 4th time since I found out about the affair and of course since I wanted so desperately to believe in him and stand for our marriage I said yes. This again lasted 2 weeks but the addiction of the OW was too great. For the first week we were talking and finding common ground. Then the contact began again, followed by the lies, the anger and the denial. He left and I offered unconditional love validating that he was where he was but denying to own his Sh!t. He continued contact all the while living with OW. I drew my line in the sand stateing that I wanted nothing to do with him while he was with OW, when/if he was ever done I would be open to an R. He wanted to keep me as a freind and have the OW ( of course without her knowing) I of course said NO!!! OW started to exert her agenda and talk of money began. I then contacted a lawyer. H was served with papers for legal separtation. OW responded, to my lawyer to which H signed that he would not be getting a lawyer because separation was aimiable and friendly and we had worked everything out. He would and has always said he would be fair to me and the kids. I fail to see how remaining silent in the marriage, dropping a bomb, walking away, rewriting history to fit his guilt can be considered fair. When I responded in kind and refused to be manipulated and controlled then I was angry even though he was the one with the spew. I was accused of turning our children against him, they are 21 and 19 and find his 17 year old antics with the OW not only wrong but disrespectful. He says he is done but continues to find excuses to contact me by email or text messages. It funny he has only once came to see me in person in the last 4 months. Did you avoid your spouse? Moving on and getting a life is difficult when he insists on drawing me back into his drama. He says things that give me glimpses into the life with the OW as not being all rosy but in the next breath insists that he is happy and he is praying I too find hapiness. All the while I think it doesn't have to be this way.
Sorry for the long ramble my 28th wedding anniversary is in a week and I am very emotional and introspective.
Are we wver meant to understand? I have done much work on me and many positives ( selling the house, going back to school, volunteering, reaching out to old friends, making new ones,traveling and recognizing, understanding and forgiving myself for my partin the break down of our marriage. I am grateful for my journey.
I am so sorry you are going thro' what you are going thro'
Sounds to me like your H is hedging his bets and wants to make sure that whatever happens SOMEONE will want him.
Also, even tho' he thinks it's ok for him to be with someone else he doesn't think that it would be ok for you to be and so he keeps enough contact to stop you finding a significant other.
Just ideas......
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
