Well the last thread is filled with so much negativity on my behalf that I thought I would ditch it prior to it locking.
W called earlier today and I let it go to VM. She left a message stating she would like to have S for when her F arrives. Typically I have him on Thursday's and she wants him that night. So I waited a few hours and called back. Didn't get an answer and didn't leave a message. About thirty minutes later she called and I answered.
The call was very upbeat on my end. I asked what was up and she said did I get her message. Told her she could him Thursday and it wasn't an issue. She asked if I wanted him another night then, like tonight or tomorrow. She was really hinting at tonight and I'm sure she has plans, but I told her I couldn't since I already have plans. She asked about tomorrow and I reminded her that I'm towing a client around town tomorrow and Wednesday night, so I said we should probably stick with our typical schedule.
Then she says in her searching for my feelings on our sitch right now tone, "How are you doing?" She sounded pretty down, but I came right back with a bubbly "I'm doing great." Then without my how are you feeling tone, said "How are you?" She said "Ok."
Then I just said "Well good, you have a good day and I'll see you Wednesday morning."
She seemed sort of thrown back, especially with how tense things have gotten lately. I guess I keep up the PMA, keep being positive and maybe something will happen. Just maybe she won't have her dad file this thing.
Then she says in her searching for my feelings on our sitch right now tone, "How are you doing?" She sounded pretty down, but I came right back with a bubbly "I'm doing great." Then without my how are you feeling tone, said "How are you?" She said "Ok."
Then I just said "Well good, you have a good day and I'll see you Wednesday morning."
I think you handled this very well. It probably did take her off guard a bit. Best to leave the interaction on your terms and timetable. You also were able to get a bit of the GALing out in the conversation so that she can notice. Way to stay strong on the S tonight. It seems weird but it is just like a game. You have to make sure your "plays" are going to bring about the desired effect.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1162413&page=2#Post1162413 M-28 W-28 Together 10 years Married 2 years No children Things started taking a turn in 01/07
w called again last night for more daycare issues. she has been pretty flaky on when she shows to drop s off at my mother's, shows up sometimes an hour and half late. w she calls me and asks me to relay a message to my mother on it. she got pretty snippy with me over it from the get go, and i didn't handle it well. told her to handle her own problems and meet her obligations.
well after the call i ended up handling it for her, but i couldn't call back, so i just sent a text saying it is handled and got back a text just saying ok.
had a long talk last night with a good friend. he had a lot of insight for me and asked some pretty tough questions. i really think i'm at the point that this is done, and i have to move on. i'm going to keep trying my best to be a good person over this, at least for the sake of being coparents for this boy.
i'm not real sure what will be said between her father and i, i really think there isn't much to say anymore but an apology on my part for my actions. well off to work to see what the day brings.
the doc got my second set of labs back and immediately referred me to a specialist at the hospital. she reviewed my labs and examined me, then i got an hour and half long lecture from the her. my health is so bad that basically it comes down to that i remove wife from my life or she agrees to resolve issues immediately. she said unfortunetly your going to have to push the decision now.
i broke the news to wife, told her what was going on and got accused on manipulating the situation again. she thinks i'm ef'ing lying. so all i said is pretty mellow voice was, sorry we could work things out. then she gets all emotional, oh god your not kidding. said no i'm not. told her i would get the papers together and file shortly. all she could say was ok.
i'm done, and i feel good about it. someone who could care less about me like that, do the things she did, i don't want around. she has been the stress inducing object in my life for years and i have had enough. she thinks we are going to be friends, but we aren't, i really don't want anything to do with her.
everyone here has been great, and i'm not done yet. i'll keep posting through this process, but i think i need to avoid the board and stuff for a while. i just need her out of my mind and life. keep db'ing, i really sucked at it once the pressure got going, but that is life. she is gone and strangly enough the world didn't stop spinning. my doctor is totally hot and she was flirting with me a little, i'm defiently going to at least ask once this thing finalizes. w has no idea how quickly i'm going to push this through.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Oh, man. I was pulling for you too. I still think there's a chance your W comes around, but forget it for now. If a hot doctor was flirting with you, you can't be in THAT bad of shape. Take care of yourself.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
I'm so sorry to hear about your health problems, and I feel for you re the conclusion you've reached. It's hard to go through all this work and in the end find your spouse isn't what you need them to be. You're going to be stronger for going through the work you have on yourself, and you're going to be better than fine in the end. Your son is fortunate to have you.
Although I don't know the details regarding your health, and I'm sorry that it's not going well, I'm going to open my big mouth here and say that I think that your decision to file for D is a hasty one! Please give yourself some time to really think about it, with no interaction from w. I looked back at your last thread and it was just 2 weeks ago that your w decided that she wanted to work on the m. I know she's been back and forth since then, and it's been crazy, but that doesn't mean that you have to file now. I suggest giving yourself more time to detach and then make that huge decision. Hugs...
