CVA - Angels vs. Devils

[Not Much Left]

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Named this Angels vs. Devils for that pesky tug of war going on inside my head as I try to talk to my W.

CVA

[33wendell]

CVA,

I got a great idea-
Take a look at what you told ME and listen to yourself!

It is apparent to me that you know what to do...

W

Mountain biking this weekend?

[Not Much Left]

W
Thanks for that, will take a re-look at my own, sometimes babbling advice!

Journaling 8.9.07

Had a good evening w/W and kids. W called me at 4:45 to tell me she had to take D11 to get her new school uniforms altered (she is super tiny and a freak about her clothes fitting so...). She didnt have to call me to tell me that so that is good????HELP, IS THIS A BABY STEP CALL ANYONE, ANYONE, BUELLER? We went to dinner, and just to show how not-picky I am about food, we went Mexican when I had had Mexican for lunch. Anyway, at Dinner I asked her how I should get my haircut looking for a bit of a bump to my ego, and got what you would expect, a shoulder shrug and "you dont really have too many options, do you?" implying it is already short dumbass, how much more can you do to it? Oh well, was stupid to look for something there, what did I think I was going to get? "Oh, CVA, you are so hot, just do whatever you do to it and I may just jump you afterward" Well, I was kinda hoping for that

W was tired, which she is a lot these days. The boys keep waking her up in the middle of the night (if I was there....) cant say that right now I guess. She was getting everything packed to go for tomorrow. As suspected, I noticed a subtle change in her overall mood for the better as she went to the school today for a volunteering orientation.

Put kids to bed, we were going to finish watching a movie but she was super tired so said no to that. I just said, "OK, Cool"
Chatted during a back rub, it was nice as usual. Prayed with her as I do every night right before I leave.

Decided to just let her know I would work from the house tomorrow and so I could see them off in the morning. Thought about asking to stay tonight but more downside than upside in this one I think

Hope she has a safe trip and positive vibes from inlaws in Dallas.

Ready for my weekend by myself. Again, actually looking forward to it.

[Not Much Left]

Quick update for my own sake.

Q and kids left this morning. Came early w/ donuts / kolaches. Helped get them ready w/ no big events. W was in car, so I went with the CVA gut thing I heard last night from Nomo, dont beat me up here folks...as she was in the car, I said "can I have a hug goodbye?" "Yeah" and she did not hug back really as she was sitting in the car but it was not awkward either.

Her voice was not "I guess" or "hmphhh, whatever" so I take it as nuetral to positive until I know different.

I certainly had a pang of "poor CVA, everyone is leaving me" going on for a few minutes but snapped out of it really quick.

I am going to view this wknd as CVA's vacation weekend starting today. No work today as I have been embroiled in a deal which stressed me out (see old threads on me raising money for a deal), well it got done yesterday so happy about that.

Just going to fart around today and get some stuff done.

Have a good weekend everyone, I will be watching / responding to all who want my advice or a friend.

CVA

[slowly]

Hi CVA - Bookmarking your new thread. Enjoy your weekend Slowly

[SunnySeason]

Yea CVA, a weekend to yourself!!
It'll be good to have a break from the constant delicate interaction & time apart is almost always good when good feelings are established right b/f the break.

so I went with the CVA gut thing I heard last night from Nomo, dont beat me up here folks...as she was in the car, I said "can I have a hug goodbye?" "Yeah" and she did not hug back really as she was sitting in the car but it was not awkward either

I've also been challenged in this area, the "want a hug b/f you go", and usually get the same response you did. Kinda neutral.
For what it's worth, after our last interaction where I "let him go" so to speak, he came over to pick something up at the house & initiated a hug that was different from the "OK, if I have to" ones that I had been getting.


As we all know by now, they sense any kind of pursuit or indication that we're really just waiting for them.

She didnt have to call me to tell me that so that is good????

Yes!!! It is very good! There are so many encouraging signs & they are increasing all the time, it looks to me.
I think they would increase at a faster rate if you provided even more space. You are doing a great job of this however, as evidenced by this;

Thought about asking to stay tonight but more downside than upside in this one I think

That's show such strength in managing your emotions & giving her space. I think you'll be rewarded with an increase in her coming towards you.

Also, the continued relaxed style you've adopted is going to make a difference, ie. Mexican food twice.

Enjoy your weekend CVA, you're doing better than good

Sunny

[Nomopo]

I've also been challenged in this area, the "want a hug b/f you go", and usually get the same response you did. Kinda neutral.

For what it's worth, after our last interaction where I "let him go" so to speak, he came over to pick something up at the house & initiated a hug that was different from the "OK, if I have to" ones that I had been getting.

The FWIW part is actually worth a lot. It is so much more meaningful when they initiate. And you have to hold back for a while to give them the chance. In my sitch, our old T had recommended breakfasts. I always took the lead in scheduling these. New C said, after a bit, stop and see if she initiates. She hasn't. I'm still waiting. But if she does, that will be mean something.

Keep it up buddy. I posted to you on mine and one other thread this morning, but can't remember which.

Nomo

[Not Much Left]

Wow, Sunny, I am pumped, thanks for those words.

I almost have too many things planned for myself, one is defintiley just laying around in the pool w/ the music on and getting too much sun. It is SO hot here, it is unbearable so maybe I'll do that around 4pm when the sun goes behind our house.

I wish I could have met you out in San Diego. I actually lived in Rancho Bernardo and went to high school for a bit there till my dad passed away and I had to move to Texas to live w/ my wonderful (sarcasm) brothers. That was an exciting / heartbreaking time of my life, 15 yrs old, super hot little CA girls in shorts and bikini tops at school! The world was my oyster as they say, and bam, my dad has a heart attack and dies and I'm sitting in this picturesque setting, by myself thinking, WTF do I do now. Well, here I am 30 yrs later and I think I did pretty good despite what is going on right now.

C

[SunnySeason]

I wish I could have met you out in San Diego.

Me too!! Next time?

I almost have too many things planned for myself

This does wonders for our PMA & ability to "detach".

That was an exciting / heartbreaking time of my life, 15 yrs old, super hot little CA girls in shorts and bikini tops at school! The world was my oyster as they say, and bam, my dad has a heart attack and dies and I'm sitting in this picturesque setting, by myself thinking, WTF do I do now. Well, here I am 30 yrs later and I think I did pretty good despite what is going on right now.

You did better than good CVA, I can't even imagine how difficult that period was for you. Look where you took it though, the same positive direction that you're choosing right now.

Big Voluntary Hugs,

Sunny

[Not Much Left]

Thanks Sunny!