I am new to all this and have been posting in the newcomers forum. I'm positive my h is in mlc, I think level 3?, just thrashing at me to my core and dropped the bomb a few days ago.
Please read my posts if you can; any advice or support will be so appreciated. I don't know how to get my threads transfered here. I'm having such a hard time pulling it together. I've been told to come to the mlc board to benefit from the wise ones who have btdt, but I'm not sure where to find strngth. I am reading DR and also have BD but have only started. I read here online for @ a week. I am so very sad right now...
Me: 44 H: 47 M: 15 yrs SS: 20 SD: 18 S: 15 D: 11 BOMB: H left 8/4/07
thank you, I was just reading your posts and I'm so sorry. Unfortunately I may be hearing much of the same tonight. H used to come home by 5 every night, now 7:30-8:30 if I'm lucky. Still no sign of him. I think he's probably out apt hunting or a bar or your guess...god help us w8ing!
Me: 44 H: 47 M: 15 yrs SS: 20 SD: 18 S: 15 D: 11 BOMB: H left 8/4/07
We know how you feel. It does get better as time goes on. My h said the same things to me and the others here have heard the same from their S's. This board is a life saver. There are alot of great, caring people here that will help you through the rough times, but for the most part it will come from you.
Read, read and read some more. You sound like you are holding it together right now and I know how devestating it is. My h was my best friend and my whole world. After 2.5 years we are finally getting it together where I think we can make it. There is hope.
Give your h lots of space but don't let him disrespect you. GAL for yourself. Keep really busy. Patience and understanding is key right now. Keeping you in my prayers.
This may sound elementary, but as of today I don't know how to act when h is in the house. Normally, we watch tv, talk about our day, kids etc. Do I steer clear of him now? I've JUST been cut off from his touch, I mean anything personal: winks, ILY, but taps, everything! Where does that go????? How does it just stop??!! I'm finding this so hard to deal with; we've always been really touchy feely and romantic. I'm already in withdrawal, please help!
Me: 44 H: 47 M: 15 yrs SS: 20 SD: 18 S: 15 D: 11 BOMB: H left 8/4/07
They tend to shove their feelings way down deep. My h is just now starting to get then back. It's all a part of this horrible mess. It seemed that way to me too,,,,,it just stopped all of a sudden. We still slept in the bed together at night but he slept waaaaaaaay over on the edge. No more kisses hello or goodbye, it all stopped. I kept asking him if something was wrong, or if there was an ow. He denied it all. Then he said he wasn't happy for the last few years, which you could have fooled me because we were always so close.
Then I found out about the ow.....
You see they all follow the same route. Some have ow's some do not. Just keep your eyes, ears open and your heart.
Just keep doing as you are doing. I felt it very hard talking to my h too, even how to act around him. This is all MLC!
God I am so devastated. H told me of his specific plans to leave-this sat. I am at a loss how he can do this to me or our kids. He keeps telling me that 'I' brought us here and I should be able to understand! It is just too hard for me to control my emotions. I know thats what I'm suppose to do, but I cried again. The rejection is overwhelming and my body can't be fooled right now. How do I watch the person I love the most pack his things and leave me behind???
Me: 44 H: 47 M: 15 yrs SS: 20 SD: 18 S: 15 D: 11 BOMB: H left 8/4/07
Oh, HBT - we are in the same boat, aren't we?!?! Both up at all hours, thinking about this whole mess....
I'm so sorry - believe me, I know how you feel. I know it is easy to believe him when he says that you brought you there, but you didn't. You simply didn't.
I wish I could tell you how to control your emotions - I just don't know.
My heart broke at your last sentence - it is really how I feel now.
Please take care of yourself - I know it is hard, but really try to...
Told my parents today which was a relief. They are in shock, are sad, angry....everything I have been over the past month. But they were there for me which I really needed.
How are you doing today? I just waiting to see what happens tonight - seems to be a nightly adventure around here!
