Does anyone here have experience with dealing with either Borderline Personality Disorder and/or Bipolar Disorder?
The more I read about them, the more I start to believe my W's Dr.'s earlier diagnosis. I think she may be so far out there (disconnected) that even she is unaware of it, and I think it may be the root of all, or at least most of the "control and abandonment" issues. As I stated earlier, her Dr once told her she was bipolar and tried to get her to take Lithium, but she wouldn't stay on it because she was too tired. The ore I have been reading, the more I believe it to be true, and the more she also resembles BPD. So, if she IS BPD, how would I convince her at this point to get checked for it, especially since wwe are having very little contact, and she is not receptive tomy ideas???
You cannot DB someone that is truly mentally ill in my expereince. You can prolong the inevitiable.. the thing is though... They will do whatever it is to complete the cycle at any given time.
I am being somewhat simplistic but that is the bottom line on these things. I am so sorry for you if that is what you are dealing with. Reason and common sense fly out the window with this.
I just finished your original posts and am up to speed. There are a few of us here that have dealt with this.. besides me.. check out Mr. High Speed for an example over on the surviving section..
An unmedicated BPD is like a bull in a china shop...
Wow. So, would it be acceptable DBing, or in general, to call my W's Dr. for a confidential talk about his earlier diagnosis? I am just so dumbfounded by the turn of events in our M, and her behavior, added to the long list of experiences I have had with her that seem to add up to something like BP or BPD, that I feel like perhaps he could help me understand what he saw which has taken me so long to come to terms with. With, or without me, I know she needs to get herself some help, and I know I can't save her, though if there is anything I can do from where I sit that may help her to recognize the need to save herself, then I need to know this. I still lover so very much, and though she can't see the light through the dark, I can, and I intend to keep my vows to her through better and worse.
It is quite confusing and very surprising at first, isnt it ? Yes, I would put a call into her doctor and see if he would talk to you about his diagnosis.. the best you can do at this point is gently encourage her to seek out help for herself.
Here is a link to a place that I have found to be really helpful btw..
Thanks Tom! Checked out the links, and found it helpful, though I really haven't tun into anyone who is in my sitch-WAW during bipolar mania combined with recovery from epileptic seizures. I am convinced that much of the denial, alcohol, and abandonment are due to whet she is going through. Unfortunately, I didn't have anyone to help me understand how to care for her until I started to seek out boards such as this one and began to accept that this is a very real condition that she, myself and most of her family has been in denial of for too long. Don't get me wrong, I have bore the wight of my own poor decisions in our R/M, but knowing she is going through this on her own, with a poor support system, is very frightening to me, for her, and also what it is doing to our M. All input from folks with similar experiences with BPD or bipolar are welcomed! Thanks!
