I needed a break from reality. I've spent the last several days with my kids and myself. The boys played baseball all weekend, so I was gone most of it. I let them have a sleep over Saturday night and D8 too. So, I had 6 kids at the house. I loved it. I really got to know my boy's friends better....joking w/them and laughing! The great thing is, I've not really been able to do this before. H was always right in there w/boys and friends. He prides himself on being a kid at heart So much so that he acts like a 16 year old kid. I never had the chance to cut loose and have fun w/kids. I did this weekend.
I made them get up for church on Sunday too! They did and my boys and their buddies sat in the pew beside me w/the handsome button downs. I was bursting w/pride of these great kids I have. We left church and ran to their next game. Afterwards, I brought them home and we hung out all day. It was truly one of the best weekends I've had in a very long time!
H picked them up at 6:30 am to go on a small trip to visit his brother. They will be home tomorrow afternoon and than going camping w/him on Thursday and Friday.
I've spent these days working on my life. I've done some work...walked....and read. BUT, yesterday and today I worked my a** off ripping out cupboards in the new house. I decided to get new ones. So, my brother and his wife came over and we took out cupboards, countertops and cast iron sink (HEAVY!!)! The countertops and cupboards were not in units and we had to take them apart one board at a time. Each board had about 10 nails that were at least 2 inches long. It was hard. My fingers and arms ache tonight. But it is an ache I'm proud of!
I've been working on getting everything together for the divorce. I returned my signed petition to my attorney yesterday. He probably filed today.....which is my 14th wedding anniversary. Irony?
And a kind of funny note tonight. I went to the bank and removed my name from the joint accounts we had. He uses it now and I've opened my own. He called me from vacation and told me that the debit card was in my name and when he tried to use it, it took the card! He called the bank and was told "Well, 'bambam' was in today and removed herself from this account". It will take 2 weeks for him to get a new one. He is borrowing cash from his brother until he gets home.
I guess choices come w/consequences. I laugh when I think of that machine eating his card. He's all about being "Disneyland Dad" and spending loads of $$$ doing fun things with them. I guess I made a point when I had his card confiscated w/o even knowing it!
Hope all is well w/you all. I am slowly getting on my feet and heading to happiness. I can feel it.
IMP, I miss you. Are you there?
Me-BS 38 X-WS 36 Separated 11/15/2006 Filed for D 8/1/2007 Divorce Final 12/21/2007 S13, S13 (twins), D9 Married 13 Yrs Together 20 Yrs
Hi Bam- Loved that the machine ate the card...poetic justice of sorts...especially with today being your anniversary and all.
I am so happy to hear how you are enjoying your kids. IMO, that is the exact thing you need to be doing to get you through all of this.
Your house sounds like a lot of hard work but there is a lot of therapy in there. Hopefully you are trying to take out some aggressions when you are ripping out those cabinets.
I think you're a fantastic mom and your kids LOVE you for it !! You will make it and you know this now !!! Well done !
I know the Disneyland dad type - got one over here....he just doesn't know what else to do to keep them entertained at his place.
Good for you that you are making yourself independent ! It's amazing how strong and motivated you are, I admire that SO MUCH in you !!!
Have a good anniversary....look back on it as the time he blessed you with those wonderful kids and think only of the good moments...Remember there was love in that marriage !
Who knows what the future brings ! Love yah and missed you, but you know that !xxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
GK - Thanks! He will be lost too.....not my problem!
Upside - I agree. Focusing on my kids is what is making me stronger right now. And working on the house is definately therapy. I can actually see results in my hard work....unlike what was happening in my marriage.
Cinders - What can I say? You always know how to make things seem ok. Thanks for what you said about my anniversary. You are right. I wouldn't change my past....maybe some parts, but not my choice to marry H. I wouldn't have my babies and I do have good memories.
Hope everyone has a great day! I love you guys!
Me-BS 38 X-WS 36 Separated 11/15/2006 Filed for D 8/1/2007 Divorce Final 12/21/2007 S13, S13 (twins), D9 Married 13 Yrs Together 20 Yrs
That is hysterical about the bank card. I wish it would take my H's. He gets mad about there not being enough money but he just keeps withdrawing money. What does he expect?
I think they all want to be Disneyland Dads. Mine is the same. Wants to buy them things and take them to fun places. I get all the disapline.
Glad to hear you are doing well.
Mimi
Bomb 3/31/2007 Moved out 04/22/2007 Moved back in 06/11/2007 Wants to stay and try 09/04/2007
I know, Mimi! I hate that I was kind of happy about it! Don't hate it too much!
Yes, they need to ease their guilt. I get laundry galore, discipline more often, homework etc etc. BUT, I guess someday my kids will understand and will be proud of me. That's what matters to me.
P.S. Do you have a joint account? H would do that to me. We didn't have any $$$ and I got a very small amount in the beginning of our separation. BUt there was always enough for him to take kids to professional football games, zoo, movies etc. Getting my own account and using my own $$ was the best thing I ever did.
Me-BS 38 X-WS 36 Separated 11/15/2006 Filed for D 8/1/2007 Divorce Final 12/21/2007 S13, S13 (twins), D9 Married 13 Yrs Together 20 Yrs
Hi bam. I am around. But all I know is when I see what you are doing, I know you are doing well...even with the cast iron sink of which I have picked up a couple in my life.
And bam, don't tell anyone, but it isn't a bad thing that I get away from this once in a while too.
Kiddos just got home from mini vacation w/H. They went to a professional baseball game w/his brother and brother's girlfriend.
My son told me H cussed a lot during the game. Said he was drunk. Son tends to stretch the truth, but it scared me. D8 told me H told son to "Get your a** back here". This was in front of his uncle.
This is so out of character for the H I knew. I'm shocked. Should I say something to him? I know it will tick him off and he'll jump all over me. Don't know what to do here.
Why does it have to be so damn hard?
Me-BS 38 X-WS 36 Separated 11/15/2006 Filed for D 8/1/2007 Divorce Final 12/21/2007 S13, S13 (twins), D9 Married 13 Yrs Together 20 Yrs
So much so that he acts like a 16 year old kid. I never had the chance to cut loose and have fun w/kids. I did this weekend.
