Tonight we turned a major corner. She has agreed to work on things. Some background will help.
Well yesterday she said she wanted to come to the house today to do some work. She has avoided it for a while so that was a nice surprise. I got a call before lunch and she asked if I wanted to go to lunch. Meet up with her and s, had a good lunch. Then she confessed that she has no food and out of money and needed a meal. Hmm, made me feel real good, jk.
Well I come home from work and she is there. Tells me that she needs to talk, and has sat her all day not working at all. She said she was afraid of having another meltdown. I started with the imago, and she stated that she thinks she is making a mistake but she just can’t come home either. This started at 5pm and it just ended around 10. A lot was said, but it kept going back to her choice. So I broke a lot of DB rules and asked her some tough questions.
Well the end result of a lot of talking was that she wants to come home, but she said she was scared. I told her I was scared. But that through work and time we could make this happen.
I can’t really even explain right now, I feel so up but I’m scared to death. She is in a bad place, told me she wants this more than anything, but she wants it as it was before I quit trying. The scary part is she is mentally in a real bad place. She has talked about checking in somewhere, and I told her I would support her. So no matter what, I can’t worry about me at all, I need to make sure she is ok. I don’t want her to harm herself, but her talk hasn’t been there for a while, but you never know.
Well I guess the big journey begins. These are the first steps and hopefully after some major db’ing I can say I busted this thing.
Congrats, I hope to be able to sat that too one day.
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
Glad to see things still moving in that positive direction, Atlas! Still be prepared for the pull backs, reservations, etc. Just continue being that rock and stay consistent. She obviously still needs to see that your changes are for real. I was reading in one of the articles on this site that it takes a WAS an avg of 4-5 weeks to believe an LBS's changes are permanent (I tend to think it takes longer personally).
Hope that your W does decide to get some help -- she is definitely suffering from some serious depression.
Atlas, That sounds great. Like Nomo said just be prepared for more bumps in the road if they should happen. Stay positive. She sounds like she is really seeking help so be there for her like you have always been. Way to go!
Congratulations Atlas. That's great that she wants to come home and work on things. Stay strong. Hopefully she will be able to use your strength to help straighten out the mental part.
Hoping the Best for you and W,
Steel
M 39, W 35 D7, S5 Friends 18+ Together 11+ Married 8 ILYBINILWY 4/7/07 - A BOMB 4/29/07 Seperated 5/16/07 - D Filed She Moved out 7/1 D Busted 6/15/08
Atlas, That is so wonderful that you finally have some light at the end of your tunnel. This is such a BIG, BIG step in the right direction and something everybody is waiting to hear is that I want to come home and work on things.
At this point you have to apply yourself the same way that you would at a job and keep striving for better. I think that we all found out that M is not something that you can ever just let float by.
Kelley
Me: 41 H: 39 D: 6 S: 4 M-14 T-16 first bomb: 5-12-07 (M dead doesn't really want to work things out.) second bomb: 6-4-2007 (found note he wrote about wanting desperately to be with OW and would have to give up everything) Kelley
Congratulations for you....your wife will really need you to be strong for her right now....depression is a really hard thing to deal with. Best of luck
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
