The Final Chapter

[bambam1970]

Well, I met with my attorney today. He is filing everything tomorrow. This is the final chapter for me in the journey of my marriage. I am ready.

Things went well, I think. I must begin the process of getting together our assets. H has to figure out about his life insurance policies through work and get the statement for his pension.

When I talked to him yesterday and explained that the child support would be taken from his paycheck, he didn't seem to know that.

So, today he asked me how it went and I told him about splitting all of the assets equally etc. He said that he talked to one of his co-workers last night (who went through a divorce a few years ago and is pretty much an idiot anyway) and said that we could decide whatever we wanted and the courts would accept it. In other words, I could let the judge know that I didn't want support while he was still paying the house payment and vechicle payments. I am fine w/using the support money to help cover expenses until this house sells. His attitude appeared to be like he felt I was trying to get as much out of him as possible. He wasn't nasty, just almost defensive and ready for a fight.

I explained that the courts didn't give a sh** who pays the mortgage etc as long as it's paid. So, when I start getting the support from him, I will use it to pay some expenses until the house sells. But, I am going to insist that the support starts when the D is finalized b/c I don't want to have to re-do anything after the house sells.

I suggested he get his own attorney and not get legal advice from a co-worker. He thinks this will be fine as long as we agree.

So, I'm tired. I'm more than ready to move forward with this. I need to get out from under the stress of his dead weight. Does that make any sense?

[Cinderellaman]

WOW - you're really going ahead with this and moving on....

We were twins...you're so far ahead of me that I can't keep up ! But being your friend I wish you the very best in life !!! Whatever and with whoever that may be !

If or when I get to where you are now, I hope I will be as brave and motivated !

Bam, I'm amazed at your strength and determination !

May God bless you and your kids, and may he never forget to bless your H too...

Good luck to you ! xxx

[HalfMissing]

Are you crazy!!! Do not push him to get his own attorney. Just use yours and you will save a ton of money. Once two lawyers are involved it becomes a feeding frenzy. Just have your L write everything up and hopefully he will be lazy and agree to everything. If he asks you about something, say "Oh, my L says this is standard." He won't want to look stupid. Trust me on this, Bam.

You did great, Bam. Hang in there. Do something fun with the kids tonight. Go buy yourself a Build-A-Bear or something.

[HalfMissing]

Also, make sure that he knows the child support is mandated by law. You can use it for the mortgage or anything you want and do not have to tell him what you are doing with it. Get the wage garnishment done. It saves problems in the future.

[bambam1970]

We were twins...you're so far ahead of me that I can't keep up ! But being your friend I wish you the very best in life !!! Whatever and with whoever that may be !

Lovey, we still are!!! Just faternal

I am not ahead of you, I'm just at a different point. You may never get to this point and your journey may have a very different outcome. For me, this is peace.

Half,

Thanks! I needed to hear that. So, you think I should just agree to paying some expenses out of the support until the house sells? This will ease his anxiety and I can make it on what I am making now!

Build-a-bear is so far away from us....maybe a pizza

[Cinderellaman]

Sweety then I so wish you PEACE !!!!!

All my love to you today !!!!! May you find your dreams over the rainbow !

Take care xxx

[bambam1970]

Thank you my friend! I pray for peace to you, too.

I am worried about Jazzy, tho!

[Lissie]

Well, hold on tight.

It is not easy.

I almost fell over when I saw the papers.

My name, Plaintiff, and then Puffy's name as the defendant. It was like a murder trial, and I didn't even kill him (sigh).

I am proud of your moxie. Just remember, that things my zap and zing you , when you least expect it lovey.

Buy a new pair of shoes for the D ride.

[censored], we can at least look good.

[violets]

I wish you the very best bambam. You are very brave and I can understand the desire to just get on with your life. Hang in there. Blessings, Violets

[HalfMissing]

So, you think I should just agree to paying some expenses out of the support until the house sells? This will ease his anxiety and I can make it on what I am making now!

From the first month he left, my H wanted to just pay the mortgage. I said "No, you can pay me XXXX in child support, which is what would be required in this state if we were D." It was about the same amount of money, but the point is that I wanted him to know what it would be like later. I wanted control over what I spent the money on and I wanted to know when things were paid. Also, if I pay the mortgage I can claim it on my taxes and he cannot. My L did say that I could legally ask for more money before we are D, but I did want to do it. I am trying to keep my eye on the big prize of getting him to give the house equity to the children for college funds. (So far, he has agreed!)