I wanted to give an update since it is now about 3 months since H has come home.
First of all.........I just really didn't know how to act when he moved back in. Frankly, I was used to being on my own and the peace was plentiful. I like quiet when I'm home - and since he was no longer part of my life I had plenty of quiet.
Was I supposed to cater to his every whim (whatever that means) -follow him around and praise him...........etc, blah, blah, blah!
Just didn't know how to be the new me I had become. By the end of the first month I felt I was falling apart all by myself simply because I didn't know how to act. I was going back to the "old" me.......I didn't like it. It was not his fault at all - he was being nice enough but I did sense that he was a little ill at ease. I think it was because he had witnessed the changes in me and was coming home to that......and now I was going back to the old me - which was not the confident me I had become.
So........I got together with H's sister one Sunday afternoon. I knew she would help to center me once again. We had the most awesome day together. We talked for hours and hours and she brot me back to life with all the reminders of what God has done in the last several months and the freedom that He had given me in all this. I was putting myself back in my own bondage for no reason. She gave me a scripture that she was sure was for me that she had gotten at a Woman's Conference that weekend. Galatians 5:1: It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
She helped me see that I had been free before H came home - and when he came home I put the yoke back on all by myself. Turned out the main scripture in my church the next Sunday was the very same one that my SIL gave.
From that moment on life has not been the same. I have taken back my freedom in the Lord and have gone back to who I had become while H was away.
and.....so many wonderful things have happened in the last 2 months that continue to show how much God does have his hand on my life. You see, it is one thing to have H home. It is another to ruin my relationship with my Lord. It is my relationship with my God that keeps the rest of my life alive and vital. With or without H - I can live. With or without my Lord - I can not!
I do see our relationship improving everyday. Things don't bother me like they would anyone looking at this situation. I do know that God is in control of my life and so things have become very exciting one baby step at a time.
It is all about taking control of ourselves and being able to find and complete our own person without relying on someone else. Then if there is a someone else.........it should only enhance your life...NOT take away from it.
A million things have happened that I won't go into detail about but wonderful things are being accomplished with each passing day both with my H and with my walk in life in general. I've had more business come in this summer than I have in many years past and this thrills me no end. Those who remember me here know the struggles I have had financially the last several years. And yes, I still struggle with finances...but life is improving in that area and there is hope. There is always hope my friends...there is always hope.
don't allow your zeal for life to be taken from you. Let the spouse go and work on you. You will see that the spouse will take a second look at a more confident you. But you can't do it with that in mind or it makes it not real for you. Truly, you have to just plain get your eyes off the spouse and move on. That is where life begins for you. When we try to find life with our eyes on what the other half is doing...we can't focus and get a grip on what there is for us.
When we are able to move on from this hurt and find life...we are then better able to give life. And giving life to those we love and cherish is so very precious.
anyway...that's just a little bit of the story. Time will tell what happens down the road - but I don't have my head up my rear-end anymore. That's a very good sign.
I am also thrilled because I finally have my website up for my business too. If you are so inclined please check it out just to see - I would appreciate it so much.
WOW - I am SO HAPPY for you and your H !! I have no idea how your story went and what troubles you had but I think it is fantastic to get another story of a marriage restored !!! It gives me SUCH HOPE and FAITH !! Thank you !
If ever you have the time, it would be wonderful to hear how your story came about and of course what your H says about his time away from home ....
Good luck and much happiness to you both !! xxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
This is not only a success story b/c of the Captain.
He is secondary.
This is a success story, b/c you in a short time frame, went from great to wonderful. While holding the hand of God.
You did it. Brue, my sisterm my friend, my prayer partner. My Guide thru so much hell.
I think I can now say
I TOLD YOU SO
The Captain fits well in YOUR plan, in YOUR life.
You let him go completely, not at first, but you did, and worked on Brue.
You gave me a road map to the future. IN that road map, you showed me which path to take, so that i wouldn't bump into things and keep hitting my head.
I know you are going to be better than ok, with or without the captain.
I love that you wrote about you first and the captain second.
The goal here for all of us, is to be able to look in the mirror, and be proud.
I am proud of you, and miss you. I can't wait to see you again, and give you a big fat smoooooch.
Quote:
It is all about taking control of ourselves and being able to find and complete our own person without relying on someone else. Then if there is a someone else.........it should only enhance your life...NOT take away from it.
shut it, you said it so much better than me.
AND, I love the website, YAY!
Last edited by Lissie; 07/30/0704:22 PM.
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
I'm so glad you updated...I've missed you and have been thinking about you the past several days.
I truly love the gentle warning about what can happen when we misplace our focus. It is a totally believeable warning coming as it does from your own experience, as someone who WAS successful in shifting focus. (I'm not claiming to have ever fully got the focus off of H, but that is another story...)
Your website is lovely, as are your creations. I am going to add it to my favorites so I can check in periodically.
Thank you so much for this post. Lissie told me to visit here and as usual she knew just what I needed to hear. You are amazing and your story is an inspiration. I, too, enjoyed your website. I would love to see some of your glass box creations.
I don't know your history but it doesn't matter the outcome and how you got there is the important part.
Thank you for sharing and Lissette thank you for the suggestions to read this.
God bless you all.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
Thanks Brue. I've never posted to you before, but thanks for posting an update. It seems that so many on here on getting divorced in the last week that it helps to hear stories like this.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
Thank you so much for posting an update. It is truly inspiring to hear when a M has been restored. While I don't know your sitch, I am happy to hear that your H has finally come home.
Quote:
There is always hope my friends...there is always hope.
Although my D was final at the beginning of this month, I believe that hope never dies. I have been focusing more on myself and praying for XH and in doing so, I know that God is leading me down the path I am on.
I have to agree with you that we need to focus on us and let our WAS go. I do believe that since I've done so, I've had more sightings and interactions with my XH.
I hope you continue to post so that we can continue to follow your success, in your M, your business but mostly in rediscovering yourself.
God bless, ISLH
Me: 49 - S22 & S26 H: 41 - No kids M: 10/00 Bomb New Year's Day 2006 H living w OW 01/07; have baby 12/07 D final 07/07 Thread #9 - Hope Lives On
I miss your sweet whisperings in my ear ... alas ... I'm so glad all is well in your world and that you continue to grow each day in His grace, as does your M.
Well done! What great introspection you have, recognizing that you were slipping back into old habits. That is a gift and a strength that few people have.
Your work is very pretty, BTW. I'm not surprised that you have lots of orders!
N
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
